Eurovision 2016

[Famous Mortimer]

The first news about this year's just been announced, so I thought a very early start to the thread might be in order.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-35602473

It'll certainly be interesting, but if some song that's been languishing in mid-table obscurity suddenly leaps to no.1 with the public vote at the end, it might be a bit weird. Plus, it'll reveal all the voting for neighbours crap fully for everyone to boo at, which might stand a chance of changing it. Or it might just double up the problem. In other words, I have nothing to add.

[mobias]

If this year is anything like last years Eurovision it'll just be a night of dreadful X Factor type Euro ballads. The days of people not taking it entirely seriously I fear are in the past.

[olliebean]

Anything vaguely interesting seems to be eliminated in the two qualification rounds these days, so better to watch those and give the main event a miss, I reckon.

[Puce Moment]

I find myself wishing that countries' were forced to involve the specific folk music of their province in order to create some individuality. Basically, all of the songs are the usual turgid mobile phone ring tone music with ever-so emotional X Factor style singing on top.

We could send in The Unthanks, and France would put up something like Les Negresses Vertes, etc.

I know it's a shit idea but surely it would make it more interesting, at least for me?

[Mr Eggs]

^NO FUCKING WAY. 4 hours of cunts with bad teeth warbling shite to bagpipes and lutes?

Get to fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBnYQ23uaMQ

[Famous Mortimer]

I don't know. There was a genuinely great winner fairly recently (Lena, for Germany) - even though her song the next year was better and did worse.

It has almost always been rubbish, though, so let's just have a bit of fun. Everyone remembers Abba winning, but not, for example, what won the year before (I had to look it up, the song was terrible) (although the singer was a bit lovely).

[brownjam]

If this year is anything like last years Eurovision it'll just be a night of dreadful X Factor type Euro ballads. The days of people not taking it entirely seriously I fear are in the past.

The only reason ballads were big last year was because everyone was trying to emulate that bearded cunt who'd won it the year before. Don't worry, it's gonna be alright.

[Norton Canes]

Thankfully Ukraine is doing its best to inject some life into the proceedings - if not its own citizens.

[JesusAndYourBush]

I heard something on the radio the other day about how they've changed the voting procedure.  So first they're going to do the votes as usual, but after receiving all the votes they're going to then do a 2nd round of votes where each country have to give points to EVERY country in order of preference (as opposed to the normal round of voting where they only give 1 to 10 & 12 points).  It sounded all very confusing and will probably extend the show by at least an extra hour.  It seems to be an attempt to stop the political voting having as big an impact.

[The Duck Man]

Possible UK entries.

Bianca the clear winner there, in my opinion.

[Famous Mortimer]

I heard something on the radio the other day about how they've changed the voting procedure.  So first they're going to do the votes as usual, but after receiving all the votes they're going to then do a 2nd round of votes where each country have to give points to EVERY country in order of preference (as opposed to the normal round of voting where they only give 1 to 10 & 12 points).  It sounded all very confusing and will probably extend the show by at least an extra hour.  It seems to be an attempt to stop the political voting having as big an impact.

I linked to a story about it in the first post, but they've completely separated the jury / phone vote thing. So we'll get the "this is London calling" bit as per usual, then at the end, they'll announce all the public votes together in one big block. I think?

[Birdie]

Just listened to the UK entries.  Miracle easily the most dire.  A Better Man the most musically interesting but I think in person, the performance might be a bit, um, creepy (don't ask me how I know).  Bianca also interesting - unusual reggae feel for a Euro entry.  But I think You're Not Alone[nb]Not the excellent entry by Armenia's Aram MP3 in 2014[/nb] might get the nod - I can visualise how it might be performed and it could be a crowd pleaser.

[Mr_Simnock]

Nothing interesting from UK, doubt we will get many points again. We are in a no win situation even without the political voting because we send nobodies each year and the other countries know that. I think we are just seen as taking part for the sake now so I don't think we should expect anything tbh. If I had my way we would just send John Shuttleworth each year.
Edit: Agree Your not Alone will probably get the vote, it's a bit better than the rest.

[Crabwalk]

Absolutely terrible show tonight, with Mel in full Partridge mode, and the whole thing feeling like it was made for about twenty quid.

Four awful songs and performances, with only Bianca and the winning boys coming out with any credit. Either of those would've been above par by the UK's recent standards and at least those lads look like they'll have a good time on the night. It's a catchy song, albeit repetitious, and I'm already sick of it, but it might have a chance finishing top half.

They'll need to work on their performance mind, as one of them just looks down at his half-size guitar the whole time, while the other awkwardly staggers about like Bez guesting in East 17.

[BlodwynPig]

[Jim_MacLaine]

I've yet to see anything in 5 years to top these.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OlG9g4-cyg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDKzcm8WrxQ

[Danger Man]

Nothing interesting from UK, doubt we will get many points again.

Probably, but at least we haven't guaranteed absolutely zero points East of Germany by sending any coloured singers over.

[batwings]

Believe in sweaters.

[Birdie]

Bump 'cos the semi-finals start tonight.

I've watched all of the videos (well bits of some of them, I'm not a masochist) and my top picks are Armenia and Bulgaria.  Oh and UK.

Interested to see if Greece's live performance replicates the video and has a bare chested running man.

Seemed Serbia was chanelling Kate Bush (facially).

San Marino - extraordinary.

Ukraine worthy but can't escape that 'our souls' sounds like 'arseholses'

[MoonDust]

Seemed Serbia was chanelling Kate Bush (facially).

*Googles frantically*

[Morrison Lard]

Looked all over for this thread cos I was sure there was one, turns out it's in Oscillations!?!

Anyhoo, yeah this is on BBC Four at 8pm tonight!
*Edit : The Semis, not the final. Obvz.

[Morrison Lard]

Well, I made some notes while CaB went tits up.

Finland - Crap pop. Like what you probably get on Radio 1 nowadays.

Greece - What the fuck instrument was tidy-beard pretending to play?
Couple of even-more-budget Peter Andres doing a rap. The whole thing was as memorable as a day trip to Stevenage.

Moldova - Eva from Corrie does a mediocre number with some tin-foil spaceman breakdancer.
This wasn't actually horrible.

Hungary - Singer's jeans annoyed me, as did those trousers the backing singers wore.
Pull your kecks up for fuck's sake.

Croatia - She definitely just said "MY SHIT KEEPS SIZING!"

[Crabwalk]

Every song is built around a big drop into the chorus so far. ZZZ. Some reassuringly iffy gimmicks and costumes so far though.

[Morrison Lard]

Fucking sleeves on her dress.
Looks like she's cocked up doing some wallpapering in the dressing room.

[Crabwalk]

Finland - Crap pop. Like what you probably get on Radio 1 nowadays.

She was so out of tune though. Just hideous.

[Crabwalk]

Mel Giedroyc is making me miss Sara Cox. A once inconceivable thought.

[Morrison Lard]

Have the Netherlands only just got Billy Ray Cyrus or something?

[Crabwalk]

The highlight so far has been the font animations during each country's intro sequence. Absolutely lovely.

[Mr Eggs]

Slit-eyed Dutch prick.

[Crabwalk]

Not as good as that Dutch country duet from a couple of years ago. That was a little cracker.