Okay, really piss-poor claims to fame here, please.

[Notlob]

I saw John Stapleton on a train, with rather more white hair than in that infamous Morris clip, but otherwise essentially the same.

I think the above is the essence of the thread, eh? It's the crappiest claim to fame that any one's had the misfortune to be part of.

[Purple Tentacle]

I walked past Evan Davis in Soho the other day.

Why oh why oh why didn't I stop him and ask him to explain the rules of Dragon's Den to me, saying I still have difficulty understanding that the applicants must leave with the FULL AMOUNT, or else they get nothing?

[Notlob]

You should have asked him why they feel the need to recap every two seconds.

"Duncan Bannatyne has just breathed in, meaning he will eventually breathe out. But will the contestant pick up on this?"

[rudi]

I think that was his point.

[Purple Tentacle]

CaB Catchphrase #11: Thanks for pointing out what I was clearly implying etc.

[neveragain]

Did I mention that I was at the same secondary school as Cheryl Tweedy from popular pop band 'The Girls Are Allowed'? Because I really don't want to mention that, and she was a bloody awful bitch.

[Gazeuse]

Susanne Dando once sat on a sofa I use to sleep on.

[jennifer]

I walked past Evan Davis in Soho the other day.

Why oh why oh why didn't I stop him and ask him to explain the rules of Dragon's Den to me, saying I still have difficulty understanding that the applicants must leave with the FULL AMOUNT, or else they get nothing?

hehe I read that as Evan Dando, but absorbed  the rest of the post normally. Having not seen Dragon's Den, I did wonder why the singer from the Lemonheads would know the rules to a british show about inventions (is it?) and not about heroin or shuffling about or other things he's presumably more into.

Plus seeing Evan Dando in soho would be quite cool, I  think.

[sick as a pike]

On the piss-poor furniture anecdote front, "Booze for Baby" man once sat on a sofa I no longer own.

[Brutus Beefcake]

I once shot Jill Dando.

[thepuffpastryhangman]

I went to a cow pie party once - it was a Desperate Dan do.

[Oscar]

Ahem.
I used to work with the nephew of Samuel L. Jackson's cleaner. Apparently he doesn't trust white people much and won't allow them in his home.

[Brutus Beefcake]

Who? Sam, the nephew or the cleaner?

[Oscar]

Sam.
You probably aren't so interested to know the personal traits and quirks of the cleaner or the nephew.

[Glebe]

I once kidnapped Stan Boardman  a la Rupert Pupkin.

[Oscar]

I think anything involving kidnap or murder with even a minor celebrity can not be considered a "piss poor claim to fame".
Perhaps you could start another thread entitled "Claims To Fame Entailing Murder and Mutilation."

[Glebe]

Hmmm....

[Mister Cairo]

Three of my four flatmates can recite pi too over 30 decimal places, getting more excited as they do so.

Surely they will win a Blue Peter badge?

[Purple Tentacle]

Are they the ones that ironically leave REAL pie all over the kitchen floor?

[Mister Cairo]

Yes, and wear T-shirts saying "Math is Yummy."

Eat math then, not fucking pies!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

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