Uncomfortable and awkward panel show moments

[Ambient Sheep]

No video but here's a description:

Buzzcocks's true heyday was during the years Mark Lamarr was in the presenter's chair (1996 – 2005). In a 1999 episode, which also featured singer Marianne Faithfull and comedian Sean Locke as panelists, Lamarr and team captain went a bit too far when they jeered TV presenter Gail Porter for her nude modelling. In the Next Lines round, after completing the lines "I find you very attractive, would you go to bed with me" from the song by Touch and Go, Porter got her own back by looking away, saying, "I find the idea too repulsive".

_{(emphasis mine)}

Ohhhhh yes, I do remember that.  Horrible moment.  Was fucking "urgh and creepy" of Lamarr, to borrow a phrase.  I remember her looking very uncomfortable.  Thanks for the reminder.

Lamarr took personal offence (probably hoping he'd get a shag after the show) and started not giving their team points and giving Phill's team double points so they would win. Porter was getting quite upset towards the end, welling up and even asked Marianne Faithfull "shall we go?" or something like that.

And thanks for that as well... I don't remember that bit fully (although the double-points thing does ring a bell) but then again it was 17(!) years ago.  Nasty behaviour.


It might be my imagination, but he did seem to have a nasty and dismissive attitude towards most females, especially the prettier ones.

[Dr Rock]

'If you aren't going to show us your arse you can fuck off home' or somesuch.

[Puce Moment]

Blimey, me too. Halcyon days! I wonder if we ever crossed paths?

I'd be surprised if we didn't but this is going into derail thread territory. Did you go to the Bikini Kill/Huggy Bear gig at the Laurel Tree in, I think '93?

[Ambient Sheep]

'If you aren't going to show us your arse you can fuck off home' or somesuch.

Yeah, that rings a bell.  Basically, "How dare you show your bare bottom to the nation on the side of Big Ben you strumpet, yet not show it to me again here in this television studio."


I could be wrong, but I think she had no say in the Big Ben thing, that was purely FHM taking publicity for its latest issue to the max.; I seem to remember she was somewhat mortified to see that one photo from a whole shoot taken out of context so spectacularly.

Fake EDIT: yes, her Wikipedia entry says: "In her autobiography, Porter says she did not know about the stunt until it was reported the following day", although her approval or otherwise isn't mentioned on Wiki, merely implied.


I suspect Lamarr might have justified his wrath by claiming an old-school lefty position of how her posing in such a way was demeaning to all women and that's what he was attacking; but then that would be rather undermined by his "Next Lines" proposition, wouldn't it?

Never mind '50s throwback, more like Victorian Dad throwback...

[Brundle-Fly]

I'd be surprised if we didn't but this is going into derail thread territory. Did you go to the Bikini Kill/Huggy Bear gig at the Laurel Tree in, I think '93?

Riot Grrl gigs didn't allow blokes so that's a no.

[j_u_d_a_s]

A couple of mates of mine were in the audience for when Jamelia was on NMTB and some guy who tried to sell a kiss & tell about her turns up in the identity parade.

Though it's edited to be all a bit fluffy and jokey apparently everyone laid into the guy for about 20 minutes. Even Fielding called him a proper cunt. There was no applause either at the end, just booing.

[Brundle-Fly]

I didn't know he was mates with Lamarr, but it makes perfect sense, as he's basically Lamarr-lite when it comes to being snide.

He co-wrote 15 Storeys High under his real name, Mark Jones.

[neveragain]

My nomination: Matthew Kelly and Frank Skinner just shooting the shit.

[Ambient Sheep]

He co-wrote 15 Storeys High...

Yeah, so I've gathered from this thread.  I didn't know that before tonight.  (I've also never seen 15 Storeys High.)[/quote]

...under his real name, Mark Jones.

I also didn't know that either; thanks for that, will now save me confusion if I ever see it...

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

A bit different to the stuff here, but the first time I was shocked by TV was seeing Terry Wogan say "for Christ's sake" to Wendy Richard on Blankety Blank, I suppose it would have been in 1982.

The worst of Lamarr on NMTB would have been the "whisky sour" line that made a line-up model scowl.

If only Sally Phillips had been critical and discerning of material used in Smack The Pony, it might have been watchable.

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

The only time I've ever been in a group of people angry enough to consider walking out of a comedy show was at Edinburgh '93, when us PC students were outraged by the homophobic material of rising new comic... Sean Lock.

Mind you, within 5 years the person keenest on walking out had turned into a New Labour media cunt and probably had his head in a bag of coke for the remainder of the decade.

[up_the_hampipe]

A couple of mates of mine were in the audience for when Jamelia was on NMTB and some guy who tried to sell a kiss & tell about her turns up in the identity parade.

Though it's edited to be all a bit fluffy and jokey apparently everyone laid into the guy for about 20 minutes. Even Fielding called him a proper cunt. There was no applause either at the end, just booing.

Wow, not seen that one before. Buzzcocks is the gift that keeps on giving.

I have an Amstell-era Buzzcocks DVD with some unseen moments and such. There's one where he's doing his Popworld schtick with Vanessa Feltz and she asks if he reads her Daily Express column, to which he responds, "No, because I'm not a Diana-obsessed, right-wing bitch". Vanessa shot him a Preston look and held it for a while as the audience uncomfortably giggled. He didn't really know what to do.

[Puce Moment]

Riot Grrl gigs didn't allow blokes so that's a no.

Nah, we just had to stand at the back.

The worst of Lamarr on NMTB would have been the "whisky sour" line that made a line-up model scowl.

You've just reminded me of how cunty the host and panel members could be to the line-up people. Most of them were just extras, or PT actors, or represented by that Ugly agency. But the punching down was really awful sometimes - and that unfunny, talentless cunt Jupitus was up there as one of the worst. Remember when he took that bloke's sweets?

[Phoenix Lazarus]

My nomination: Matthew Kelly and Frank Skinner just shooting the shit.

That was chat show rather than panel show.  But, assuming we're broadening the discussion to the former, anyone recall Brian Conley's awkward interview with Bryan Adams on the former's chat show, in 2001 or 2002?

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

I went to a recording of NMTB in 2003. It was excruciating, they needed about a fortnight of footage to scrape together 30 minutes of usable material, chopped to death and sellotaped together.

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

Of course the NMTB line-up was one of many details nailed by Enfield & Whitehouse in their masterpiece "Panel Show" sketch.

[Ambient Sheep]

Seeing as I've been so relentlessly negative about Lamarr in this thread so far, I thought I'd better say something on the other side: I saw his demolition of Shabba Ranks as it went out.  Not many people would have the balls to do that on their first proper TV gig (or indeed at all), so kudos to him for that, especially given that he was already at loggerheads with the production team, by his own account.

Btw, one of the producers on Buzzcocks was in the year below me at school; he seemed to be a fairly snide and sarcastic little shit back then too, so I guess that bled into the programme as well.  (Perhaps predictably, he wasn't one of the music crowd.)  Still, at least he didn't become a complete fuckwit of a Tory junior cabinet minister, as someone two years below me has...

[BritishHobo]

Of course the NMTB line-up was one of many details nailed by Enfield & Whitehouse in their masterpiece "Panel Show" sketch.

Was just about to mention that. I remember one of them doing a superb impression of Noel Fielding sneering at the people in the line-up.

[Ambient Sheep]

Of course the NMTB line-up was one of many details nailed by Enfield & Whitehouse in their masterpiece "Panel Show" sketch.

Was just about to mention that. I remember one of them doing a superb impression of Noel Fielding sneering at the people in the line-up.

Sounds fabulous -- was this on "The Story of the Twos"?  Still haven't got round to watching that, two years down the line.  I see it's on Daily Motion...

[up_the_hampipe]

Seeing as I've been so relentlessly negative about Lamarr in this thread so far, I thought I'd better say something on the other side: I saw his demolition of Shabba Ranks as it went out.  Not many people would have the balls to do that on their first proper TV gig (or indeed at all), so kudos to him for that, especially given that he was already at loggerheads with the production team, by his own account.

RE: The Word. Here's a little story from one of the producers:

There were occasions when we went too far. Because we occasionally used secret cameras on the public, I once used it as a justification for secretly filming Christian and Lamarr, while the actor Margi Clarke flirted with them one after the other, to compare their reactions. Christian thought it quite funny, but Lamarr pinned me against a wall telling me not to use it (we didn't, but my relationship with Lamarr never quite recovered).

[neveragain]

That was chat show rather than panel show.

Oh shit, I'm sorry. Blame the red wine.

[Dr Rock]

Seeing as I've been so relentlessly negative about Lamarr in this thread so far, I thought I'd better say something on the other side: I saw his demolition of Shabba Ranks as it went out.  Not many people would have the balls to do that on their first proper TV gig (or indeed at all), so kudos to him for that,

Yes it was good that he did it, and he certainly reaped the plaudits. But I don't think Terry Christian, Terry Wogan or almost anyone else in his job would've let someone at that point in history, on a show aimed at the youth, ten years after The Tube and plenty more, would allow anyone to come out with hateful homophobia unchallanged.

[Puce Moment]

I would also say that purely as a musical DJ, rather than interviewing and generally hosting as a personality, he is flawless. His taste in original 50s rockabilly, skiffle, 60s psych, post-punk, 80s underground indie, and dub/reggae is quite excellent.

Shame.

[Van Dammage]

Was it a Dolphin in a bathtub?

[BritishHobo]

Sounds fabulous -- was this on "The Story of the Twos"?  Still haven't got round to watching that, two years down the line.  I see it's on Daily Motion...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2z-AdzgKjY

[Ron Maels Moustache]

The only time I've ever been in a group of people angry enough to consider walking out of a comedy show was at Edinburgh '93, when us PC students were outraged by the homophobic material of rising new comic... Sean Lock.

That's reminded me of the one Lock live DVD that ends with an out-of-nowhere bit of transphobia, which made me go "Hang on, what?" when I first heard it. It's really bizarre as there's nothing remotely controversial throughout the rest of the set, but he just chucks it in as a parting shot.

Here the bit in question. Dunno if I'm just being over-sensitive, but I this still think this is "not on".
https://youtu.be/hgAveqH5jTc

[Dr Rock]

Sounds fabulous -- was this on "The Story of the Twos"?  Still haven't got round to watching that, two years down the line.  I see it's on Daily Motion...

or the whole thing, which I'm watching now. I've never seen this, this is better than sex at Christmas!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1wqlvw_harry-and-paul-s-story-of-the-twos-couchtripper_fun

[neveragain]

Sean Lock trans routine

Okay, at first I was willing to say 'Oh, it's just some silly voice stuff', the humour comes from the mixing together of two notions - 'fragrant' and butch - and whether it's offensive is an individual thing but I'd say it's not malicious... Then. We come to the next bit. It's a very short 'gag' or image however it's still quite horrible. Shock humour yes but if there's a point (and there must be) then it's not pleasant, and certainly not a good finale.

[Chriddof]

The worst of Lamarr on NMTB would have been the "whisky sour" line that made a line-up model scowl.

That's one bit I always remember from it. After that model gave him that filthy look he sort of sarcastically imitated her scowl back at her, like an idiot schoolchild.

[BritishHobo]

Okay, at first I was willing to say 'Oh, it's just some silly voice stuff', the humour comes from the mixing together of two notions - 'fragrant' and butch - and whether it's offensive is an individual thing but I'd say it's not malicious... Then. We come to the next bit. It's a very short 'gag' or image however it's still quite horrible. Shock humour yes but if there's a point (and there must be) then it's not pleasant, and certainly not a good finale.

That 'I wouldn't want to look' bit is just grim, isn't it? Not even a joke or a clever observation, just 'I bet they look gross'.