1001 things to do before Clowne

[cptspalding]

41. Go to the seaside.
40. Set off the alarm on all the pushy-coin-drop machines you come across and scavenge enough 2ps/10ps,maybe £1s to scrabble together some kind of temporary existence 
39. Take your top off and challenge nearby children to a winner-stays-on Streetfighter 2 tourney.  Choose E.Honda every time and hundred-hand-slap every bushy tailed child into the nearby sea.
38. Nestle down for the night on a secluded part of a windswept beach, looking up at the stars, listening to the white noise of the ocean, waiting for the painted ones of your dreams to arrive.

[Glebe]

37. Retrofit Enid Blyton stories so that they appear to reference modern conspiracy theories.
36. Glug a bottle of Milton in a precinct.
35. Gnaw Tom Guggles' foot with yer gnashers!

[vanilla.coffee]

34. Give yourself an ice cream headache on purpose
33. Spray perfume covertly on the back of blokes standing in a queue
32. Come on little funny man. Come on! Come on! Come on you funny man.

[Mr Brightside]

31. Edge for hours without lube until your cock is swollen and you can't retract your foreskin.
30. Break into Roald Dahl's writing hut and piss on his chair and in his pencil jug.
29. Put your tongue on a nine-volt battery.

[Quincey]

28. Hire some cheerleaders and record a music video in Bethnal Green.

27. Widen your urethane using a drill bit.

26. Ask about the applications of snot as a lubricant on Radio 5 Live

[pancreas]

25. Invest in a large bum-cork.

[Glebe]

24. Pretend you don't see her, my heart.
23. Pretend a large, mashy ghoul is supreme overlord of the cosmos.
22. Drink piss.

[hamfist]

21. Buy this bungalow

[pancreas]

20. Study reportage from the Xmas versus final for clues on how to avoid fatal bassooning.

[Quincey]

19. Try to edit a post and quote it instead, change the new post to the latest Clowne thing to do.

[Howj Begg]

Guys, we're getting down to the last 18 things, we don't want to waste these. Let's make them special!

[Howj Begg]

18. So I'm thinking maybe that
17. Clowne is one of those things
16. Where you want to
15. I dunno, hoard some tins of beans
14. Maybe a few brewskis
13. Make sure the
12. television is working okay,
11. stock up on vhs popcorn classics
10. maybe
9. one or two
8. changes of
7. under
6. wear.
5. Ideally you need to have
4. A few books
3. Maybe some foreign grumble
2. of particularly rare french grumble stars, to
1. jizz into

[JoeyBananaduck]

That's it. I'm sticking my flep out. I don't want to play anymore.

[vanilla.coffee]

Ruined

[hamfist]

Ruined

You will be, when Clowne...

[Mr Brightside]

18. Bake a cake of shit and feed it to a group of small children.
17. Piss on a dog's leg.

[Mr Brightside]

16. Summon The Fingerfiend and receive an anal fingerblasting.
15. Do that thing where you make a fart sound by putting your hand under your armpit and flapping your arm up and down like a dick (just had a go now for the first time in twenty years and nearly broke my wrist).
14. See how many Greggs doughnuts you can slide onto your cock.

[spamwangler]

13. not sure about this new reboot

[hamfist]

72. Ariana Grande

Fucking hell lads.

[JoeyBananaduck]

12. Travel to the Black Lodge to rescue Poo

[Mr Brightside]

12. Travel to the Black Lodge to rescue Poo

I hadn't thought of that, but that's obviously where he is. When do when Jupiter and Saturn next meet?

[vanilla.coffee]

11. By all means continue with this half arsed reboot
10. But leave the final no. 1 for poo to complete this 1001 upon his return
9. He started it so he must finish it

[Mr Brightside]

11. By all means continue with this half arsed reboot
10. But leave the final no. 1 for poo to complete this 1001 upon his return
9. He started it so he must finish it

This thread was always half-arsed.

[spamwangler]

8. Stand in garden in your pants
7. all the sprinklers come on
6. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR CLOWNES?!?! COME AND GET ME

[JoeyBananaduck]

5. Pre-gape yourself with the thick end of a cricket bat. It won't be long now....

[spamwangler]

4. Do a little cry when you realize that this thread is a good-bye present from Poo

3. He never got to see Clowne happen. But then he knew this was how it was going to go, he did this, all of this, for us

2. SUNDAY MORNING DARK CHOCOLATE POWER GLAND-SHANDY BOTTIEBANK WANKNADO (3.99 halfords, Portalbot Parkway)