Author Topic: Royal Family Watch  (Read 89368 times)

Royal Family Watch
« on: September 27, 2016, 11:12:42 AM »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37481440

Quote
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have visited a remote First Nation community in British Columbia on day three of their Canadian tour.

The pair were welcomed to the Great Bear Rainforest by Heiltsuk people from the island village of Bella Bella, and presented with traditional vests.

A wild bear, a falling tree, some utterly berserk Heiltsuk bastard with a beaver trap - how do you hope this pair of scroungers and their "what have they ever done of any worth?" spawn come a fucking cropper in a forest in the middle of nowhere?

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2016, 11:34:44 AM »
By their helicoptor landing on top of you.

Milverton

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2016, 11:35:07 AM »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37481440

A wild bear, a falling tree, some utterly berserk Heiltsuk bastard with a beaver trap - how do you hope this pair of scroungers and their "what have they ever done of any worth?" spawn come a fucking cropper in a forest in the middle of nowhere?

Who else was on the guest list?

Buelligan

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2016, 11:41:19 AM »

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2016, 11:41:59 AM »
I am getting more and more concerned about these overtly violent threads towards the royal family. What if the Murdoch press gets a whiff of it? We're doomed.

I hate the royals too, but christ, these descriptions of how to get rid of them are getting a bit much. I know it's a joke, like, but still. And I know I've been guilty of similar stuff in the past but hey.

Even the Bolshies allowed the Ramanovs - who were far far far worse than our royals - to be under house arrest and fed and live comfortably.[nb]Before being shot dead.[/nb]

Let's be more like the bolshies.

I'll start:

You know what I'd love to do with the Royal family? Give them a decent living quarter with clean clothes and hot meals everyday, but not by any means let them leave the house and be under armed guard from people who may wish to rescue them. That'll teach 'em!

Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2016, 11:44:20 AM »
You know what I'd love to do with the Royal family? Give them a decent living quarter with clean clothes and hot meals everyday, but not by any means let them leave the house and be under armed guard from people who may wish to rescue them. That'll teach 'em!

I'd like to give them decent quarters, too, after I'd given them decent hangers and decent drawers.

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2016, 11:46:19 AM »
See, that's the spirit.

Now by "hot meal" I do mean a selection of edibles from Greggs.

They'd fucking hate that!

Buelligan

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2016, 11:48:54 AM »
If I'm honest, I simply do not care about the Royal Family.  I never think of them, unless I see something on the news, in which case I think - the Royal Family, not interested, I won't read that and move on.

I can't really believe anyone (apart from deranged or very old people) takes any genuine interest in them, why would they?  It's a boring subject, just like the daily life of Katie Price or who is on Strickly Downton, what knickers Egg Wallace wears or any other teeth-drilling waste of these mavellous fragmentary moments of life before returning to dust and silence are.

Unless it makes you laugh, of course.

Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2016, 11:49:57 AM »
I hope a poorly affixed roof tile comes loose during a gale and takes their fucking heads off. Not necessarily in some woods in Canada, and ideally during Trooping The Colour. Imagine Huw Edwards trying to do some of his award winning commentating during that.

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #9 on: September 27, 2016, 11:52:03 AM »
I'd like to see the Queen watch a documentary on the Russian revolution and feel slightly disturbed, for an hour, before forgetting about it.

Think on, Lizzie!

Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2016, 11:55:43 AM »
Where are you while you're seeing the queen watch the documentary, and what weapons are you holding?

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2016, 11:57:54 AM »
Outside the window, with a bag full of writings by Lenin and Trotsky.

Milverton

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2016, 11:59:46 AM »
The media coverage always gets me down and I think it does more harm than good. Some royal reporters are more supine than others, but they are all dreadful. Your heart must sink the day you get called into the editor's office to be given that gig. "Witchelled, and never called me mother."

This trip is seemingly about a project to get all fifty-three Commonwealth nations to commit to preserve a section of indigenous forest in perpetuity. That's not a bad thing, is it? Plus the tribe seemed to enjoy showing off their beads, carvings and Toyota 4x4s.

Milverton

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2016, 12:00:58 PM »
I'd like to see the Queen watch a documentary on the Russian revolution and feel slightly disturbed, for an hour, before forgetting about it.

Think on, Lizzie!

She must be reminded of it every time she meets up with her Tsar Nicholas lookalike cousin. Michael, is it?

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2016, 12:01:17 PM »
Meanwhile I'll send a letter to Prince Charles outlining a model for a socially democratic British republic. Whilst not as extreme as a Bolshevik revolution, it'd certainly rattle his bones.

Either that or give him a book on brutalism and post-modernist architecture and how they can transform the face of neo-classical dominated U.K. cities. That'd frighten the life outta him!

Blue Jam

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2016, 12:01:31 PM »
YAY! Royal Family Bullshit Royal Tour Watch Thread! Paging Attila...

Good to see Prince George is still a petulant little shit- when it comes to diplomacy it seems he's his great-grandfather's great-grandson:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/prince-george-justin-trudeau-as-royal-tour-of-canada-kicks-off_uk_57e7ddb4e4b004d4d862f10f

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #16 on: September 27, 2016, 12:01:34 PM »
She must be reminded of it every time she meets up with her Tsar Nicholas lookalike cousin. Michael, is it?

Well, yeah. I hear Christmas is always awkward round theirs.

Blue Jam

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #17 on: September 27, 2016, 12:07:53 PM »
Isn't this cute- someone made a cake effigy of Charlotte! I just want to cut its hair, hands and feet off and put it in a piping bag and kick it:



They also made some doilies but Kate decided to wear them.

Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #18 on: September 27, 2016, 12:16:08 PM »
Isn't this cute- someone made a cake effigy of Charlotte! I just want to cut its hair, hands and feet off and put it in a piping bag and kick it:

Cute. Though personally I'd rather shove all the bits in a piping bag and then go around waving it like a giant conical dick making crude wanking noises and squeezing it to make it look like "princess" Charlotte's remains was a big load of jizz that I was spunking all over the place. The royal "we"? The royal bukkake, more like.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #19 on: September 27, 2016, 12:19:14 PM »
The media coverage always gets me down and I think it does more harm than good. Some royal reporters are more supine than others, but they are all dreadful. Your heart must sink the day you get called into the editor's office to be given that gig. "Witchelled, and never called me mother."

This trip is seemingly about a project to get all fifty-three Commonwealth nations to commit to preserve a section of indigenous forest in perpetuity. That's not a bad thing, is it? Plus the tribe seemed to enjoy showing off their beads, carvings and Toyota 4x4s.

1 square foot of forest - the rest to be bulldozed for property.

Blue Jam

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #20 on: September 27, 2016, 12:19:56 PM »

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #21 on: September 27, 2016, 12:21:11 PM »




Who's Wills doing a quick oral favour for in that!?

Blumf

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #22 on: September 27, 2016, 12:21:38 PM »


Keeping the 'ethnic' at a safe distance behind a glass barrier.

biggytitbo

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #23 on: September 27, 2016, 12:28:56 PM »
I wish our Royal family no real ill will other than perhaps they all get electrocuted to death and replaced with John Goodman.

Blue Jam

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #24 on: September 27, 2016, 12:30:34 PM »
Royal Gossip coming up with the goods on Kate Middlebum as usual:


gilbertharding

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #25 on: September 27, 2016, 12:34:09 PM »
Either that or give him a book on brutalism and post-modernist architecture and how they can transform the face of neo-classical dominated U.K. cities. That'd frighten the life outta him!

Splitting hairs, I know - but I'm fairly sure the Jug-eared shit-for-brains little runt LIKES Post Modern architecture - because he's toocloth-eyed to be able to tell it apart from your actual classical or baroque.

Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #26 on: September 27, 2016, 12:34:18 PM »
It raises the interesting question of who gets to eat the underage royal vag in iced form. It has to be someone, and statistically it's likely to be one of her parents or her brother. Old school royal behaviour there.

What did you do at the weekend? Me? I ate a cake effigy of my daughter's nappied vagina.

MoonDust

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #27 on: September 27, 2016, 01:31:35 PM »
Splidding hairs, I know - but I'm fairly sure the Jug-eared shid-for-brains liddle rund LIKES Posd Modern archidecdure - because he's doocloth-eyed do be able to dell id apart from your acdual classical or baroque.

Sorry, "splidding"?

PowerButchi

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #28 on: September 27, 2016, 01:37:16 PM »
Be careful everyone, you don't want to end up like the William Wallace of the C21st - Peter Dow

http://peter-dow.blogspot.com/

And here's his dating page on his website. Loves his tits to hips ratio

http://scot.tk/lookingforawoman.htm#top

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Royal Family Watch
« Reply #29 on: September 27, 2016, 01:56:36 PM »
It isn't against the law to sincerely hope certain people die.

Neither thought nor speech.

In actuality if they were murdered I would abhor the act but celebrate the result.