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Royal Family Watch

Started by Alien Or Sutin, September 27, 2016, 11:12:42 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Attila

If your marshmallow business ever fails, you can always fall back on being a tour guide at a Scottish Inn.




BlodwynPig


Blumf

Holy Fucking Shitballs!! Married couple visit south coast county!!!!!111eleven

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-england-sussex-45709499
QuoteIt is the first time Harry and Meghan have visited Sussex together since being made Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

So does the Duke of Sussex have any special role in Sussex? Well, it's a Substantive title so...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Substantive_title
QuoteThe title is ceremonial and confers no political, territorial or civic prerogative as such

...that'll be a 'no'

Blue Jam

BBC News has just informed me that Princess Eugenics has married that tequila bloke. I had no idea it was today and I suspect no-one else did either. £2 million for security for a wedding no-one gives a fuck about... congrats, E!

gilbertharding

*hands up*

I knew it was today - but only because I happened to be driving on that part of the M4/M25 yesterday where all the illuminated dot-matrix signs were giving me advance warning to 'Expect Delays' today in the Windsor area.

Imagine living your life with the constant subliminal reminder of the massive inconvenience you're putting everyone to. Oh, that's right: they cant.

Attila

I thought it was tomorrow til my non-mad, but stilll Anglophile* friend back home emailed me (she's found a stream of it from somewhere to watch).

There's a great photo of Prince Philip staring scanners-style into the back of Fergie's neck during the service, but can't be arsed to find it again online.






*Not the one that collects teapots shaped like the Royal Family

Norton Canes

At least now I know how to pronounce Eugenie.

Bye, I'm off to listen to my favourite singer, Bey-onse.

Blue Jam

This definitely calls for a Very Special Episode of The Windsors. Even more so that the Bants-Syoots merger.

Dex Sawash

Daughter says syoots is pregnant, evidenced by her not looking as put together as she should, something about her jacket, at wedding.

Cursus

Yeah. According to the Mail:

QuoteMeghan Markle's outfit at the royal wedding has sparked speculation on Twitter that the Duchess of Sussex could be pregnant...

One Twitter user said: 'Judging by the fact that she's wearing a heavy coat indoors; Meghan Markle is either pregnant or the type to get chilly easily.'

Another wrote: 'I'm telling you now Meghan Markle is pregnant.'

'Something about Meghan's outfit choice makes me think she's pregnant and hiding a baby bump. It's so conservative,' another said.

A fourth commenter wrote: 'I guess Meghan's pregnant. She didn't take off her wide coat at any point do the wedding. You couldn't even see her dress.

'Would be so nice for Harry and Meghan to have a baby.'







Icehaven

Probably not allowed to announce it before the Wedding No One Gave Two Hoots About to avoid it becoming the Wedding That Was Alll About Meghan Markle Being Pregnant. It would have been the biggest upstaging since Pippa's arse.

Attila

Quote from: icehaven on October 13, 2018, 08:24:00 AM
Probably not allowed to announce it before the Wedding No One Gave Two Hoots About to avoid it becoming the Wedding That Was Alll About Meghan Markle Being Pregnant. It would have been the biggest upstaging since Pippa's arse.

Yup -- same as youse above -- my first thought on seeing her in that big, lumpy coat. My money is on a 'premature' baby.

Quote
Wedding No One Gave Two Hoots About

Even my anglophile/queenie-watching mom said, 'There's a royal wedding today? Whose?  Whose? So who are they...are Prince Andrew's kids. Is he still around. T'uh.'


PS If youy didn't get your invite, you still have a chance at getting a Eugenie swag bag, oooh

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45846188

BlodwynPig

The swag bag is so shit I'm glad I didn't win the raffle ticket to attend.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

That's a sickening amount of white children and they look absolutely ghastly.

kalowski

Quote from: Attila on October 13, 2018, 08:39:23 AM

PS If youy didn't get your invite, you still have a chance at getting a Eugenie swag bag, oooh

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45846188
Contents:
QuoteIt should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express.

Attila

I KNEW I should have hit up the betting shop earlier this year.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45861683



Blue Jam

SYOOTS: "Oh my gawd Harry, isn't this amazing? You can give up all that tiring ledging you're getting too old for and we can have a nice quiet life together in one of your English castles! It's going to be so wonderful!"
BANTS: "..." [INWARDLY SCREAMS]


Quote

Another parasite parachutes in.

Freeloading prenatal cunt.

Blue Jam

I reckon Bants might go a bit Mark Corrigan here. Sneaking out of the Lindo Wing to get a KFC Bargain Bucket before Wills discovers him shooting yakuza at Namco. I don't think "bottle of whisky and random easyJet" will be an option though.

Blue Jam

#1219
Hmmmm... bit paranoid?

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/call-brexit-timing-meghan-harrys-13419331

Will the birth of this new parasite be known as Meghxit?

Quote

I like the idea that they have a stockpile of Royal sprogs hidden somewhere and they just fire another one out whenever the need arises, be it national crisis, slow news day or Royal PR predicament. It certainly feels that way, what with the rate Kate's lobbing them out of her uterus.

It only seems like five minutes since these wasters were getting married. What with Kate's ever growing army of children, yet another (massively expensive) Royal wedding and now Bantz getting in on the fatherhood racket it seems like they're running the risk of over-exposure and a certain amount of public weariness.

Captain Z

In a tribute to both the wedding they upstaged and Brexit they'll name it 'EUgone'.

Attila

If babby is due in the spring, let's say that's late March. That means she's only about 3-4 months gone at this point -- would she really be showing/need the giant coat at this stage?

I wonder if she'll go into seclusion around, oh, say January, and in March show up with a really, really healthy, big baby.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Fuck off crap baby shit nothing burp of a cunt

Icehaven

Quote from: Attila on October 15, 2018, 01:07:58 PM
If babby is due in the spring, let's say that's late March. That means she's only about 3-4 months gone at this point -- would she really be showing/need the giant coat at this stage?

Maybe it's quads.

Attila

Quote from: icehaven on October 15, 2018, 01:23:15 PM
Maybe it's quads.

Perish the thought...

Over at the Mail all the comments on the story was how the announcement upstaged Eugenie's wedding on purpose.

A sheep eat sheep world.

momatt

Quote from: Attila on October 15, 2018, 01:32:08 PM
Over at the Mail all the comments on the story was how the announcement upstaged Eugenie's wedding on purpose.

So someone of no consequence to anyone, upstaged another total vacuum of importance and interest.
Who ARE these people, so absorbed in the tedious non-events in the lives of awful parasites?

Not arsed mate, off to get cigs.  See ya!

Blue Jam

Quote from: Quote on October 15, 2018, 01:02:38 PM
I like the idea that they have a stockpile of Royal sprogs hidden somewhere and they just fire another one out whenever the need arises, be it national crisis, slow news day or Royal PR predicament.

The wedding of Wills and Kate actually was touted as a ray of sunshine which would lift the Nation's spirit after the onset of austerity...

Quote from: Quote on October 15, 2018, 01:02:38 PMWhat with Kate's ever growing army of children, yet another (massively expensive) Royal wedding and now Bantz getting in on the fatherhood racket it seems like they're running the risk of over-exposure and a certain amount of public weariness.

Perhaps they're just trying to ensure they will have enough Spares knocking about in the post-Brexit wasteland, so that when us unwashed hordes put down our rats-on-sticks and have them all lined up against the wall there's a chance that a few of them will survive. A bit like the Ocean Sunfish spawning billions of eggs, except Ocean Sunfish don't really deserve their reputation for being lazy useless grotesques.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Blue Jam on October 15, 2018, 01:52:14 PM
The wedding of Wills and Kate actually was touted as a ray of sunshine which would lift the Nation's spirit after the onset of austerity...



was it ever thus, ... Attila?...

Ferris

Quote from: momatt on October 15, 2018, 01:49:43 PM
Who ARE these people, so absorbed in the tedious non-events in the lives of awful parasites?

They are weirdly popular in Canada (and presumably the rest of the colonies). They're always on the front of those shitty horrible magazines in grocery stores when Johnny depp or a kardashian is not available. At least those people (and all their relatives) aren't funded by the public purse.