Red Dead Redemption 2 (Equestrian Boogaloo)

[Cuellar]

Starting to feel like a chore, playing this. The shonky controls made me fail a mission twice last night (stupid one where you get that woman's brother back from a cult - not that he was really in it, or he was, mad for it, then you just say "why not speak to your sister" and he immediately leaves and then gets on a train??? another pretty shit mission. Ride here, now ride here, now finished!): brother jumps over a fence, so I ride at it and as soon as I get there my horse decides to home in on the farmer standing near the fence and I swerve for some reason right into him come off my horse and die. Then my horse decides to fall over a tiny rock instead of jumping over it like all the other rocks.

Rescued Micah from prison but he seems like a prick so didn't shoot anyone when we were escaping hoping he'd die, he didn't. Neither did I. In fact the AI was terrible, I was at one point standing stock still when about 3 guys were shooting at me and got hit maybe twice. All the missions feel like a procession, a conveyor belt.

And I feel that any game would be improved 100 fold if there was absolutely no crafting element. Am I going to sit here and press triangle over and over and over again to cook meat/make notches in bullets? Am I bollocks.

In fact typing all this out has made me so annoyed I'm going to fire the game up and just start killing. Men, women, children, whoever.

Hahah waging eternal war on Strawberry. Shot the mayor in his stupid head. Die cunt.

[Ferris]

Re: shonky controls - walking around doing a mission, ran into something (a rabbit?) and instantly "TWO WITNESSES - ANIMAL CRUELTY" so the dialogue keeps running, but I'm trying to stop some witnesses without creating other witnesses, but the game won't give me dialogue options to do that, so I hog tie one of them and after a while I just fail the mission.

"Animal cruelty"? As a crime in the Old West?! Come on.

[QDRPHNC]

All your people complaining about the shonky controls need to take it up with your own weird ham hands. Happy to say I have never accidentally trampled anyone with my horse because when I am in a town I go at a reasonable canter. "He jumped right in front of me!" Yeah sure he did.

Have you smoked that bag of weed you had in the bar the other week, FWB? I got myself quite a nice vapourizer, recommended.

[Ferris]

All your people complaining about the shonky controls need to take it up with your own weird ham hands. Happy to say I have never accidentally trampled anyone with my horse because when I am in a town I go at a reasonable canter. "He jumped right in front of me!" Yeah sure he did.

Have you smoked that bag of weed you had in the bar the other week, FWB? I got myself quite a nice vapourizer, recommended.

People are throwing themselves under my horses hooves. My horse is incidentally named Hooves.

QDRPHNF - no, but I actually bought more for the pleasure of it. I now have a high THC strain, and a high CBD strain. 1/4oz of the good shit, sitting on some shelves. I will make it available for guests I suppose, nice to have options.

What vaporizer did you get? I must admit I have no idea how any of that stuff works but I have to get through this stuff somehow.

[Cuellar]

Been absolutely going to town on Strawberry. Might make it my murder playground. If things get me down, I'll go there and take it out on them.

Tried to blow up a horse and cart, placed my dynamite on it, and then it just disappeared. Rubbish.

[Chollis]

I haven't collected a single pelt or bit of meat for the camp or any of that gathering/grinding shite. Why not just murder your way through the entire game instead? I like tying people up and then dragging them behind on my horse, seeing how onlookers react when you drag 'em through town, screaming in agony. They do die if you ride too fast though so be careful to ride at a sensible pace to prolong their suffering!

[New Jack]

I tried to hogtie someone, stow him on his own horse and tell his horse to flee, but can't seem to do it. Maybe I made up the entire idea myself.

But it sounds so, so tempting... Some fuck mouthed off to me for waking past, so, like all the others, I antagonised him into shooting at me. Onto your own campfire you go, you sassy motherfucker

Found a feral dude too

[Penfold]

I knew the Vaudeville theatre host was annoying and on my second visit I realised he is voiced by my mortal enemy Fred Armisen.

Magic bullet time.

[Sin Agog]

I tried to hogtie someone, stow him on his own horse and tell his horse to flee, but can't seem to do it. Maybe I made up the entire idea myself.

But it sounds so, so tempting... Some fuck mouthed off to me for waking past, so, like all the others, I antagonised him into shooting at me. Onto your own campfire you go, you sassy motherfucker

Found a feral dude too

Half a recent ep of the pod Cum Town was devoted to hog-tying a celestial and attempting to feed him to an alligator.  If it's possible, they didn't have the werewithal to pull it off.  Shit game.

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

While I love the open world, I have to agree regarding the gunfight heavy main story missions being somewhat of a chore.

The game is so open and allows you to play exactly how you want, then the actual main storyline missions railroad you into similar gunfights. I'm not opposed to gunfights on my own terms, but it's frustrating when the freedom to choose an approach is taken away.

[samadriel]

I've often longed for alternative approaches to missions in Rockstar games.  Even Valve are more flexible in their staging than Rockstar.

[Cuellar]

I tried to hogtie someone, stow him on his own horse and tell his horse to flee, but can't seem to do it. Maybe I made up the entire idea myself.

But it sounds so, so tempting... Some fuck mouthed off to me for waking past, so, like all the others, I antagonised him into shooting at me. Onto your own campfire you go, you sassy motherfucker

Found a feral dude too

Have you tried stowing him on his horse then punching/shooting the horse a little? My current favourite thing to do is punch horses in the head. Idiot idiot fucking idiot horse. Doesn't even know what electricity is.

Can you attach dynamite to them? Imagine strapping a horse with dynamite, lighting it, then making it flee into a town.

[samadriel]

Oo, he card read good!

[New Jack]

Two Arabian horsies now.

There's a third, completely black one in St Denis stable, but three seems like overkill. Three naans, Jeremy?



Also, the barman is invisible - on the right, drying a mug with a cloth (must be a Spoons eh readers?)

[Cuellar]

Was part way through a mission to rob a train and I had to take some cunt kid fishing!

Robbed it eventually then found the Braithwaite manor - presumably they're all bastards as they have what looks to be cotton fields, so I tried to greet one but he start firing, so I killed a lot of them and dumped them in the lake. They were all quite minted though, so I've got lots of swag to fence. My morality rating has taken a big big nose dive after my murder sprees in Strawberry and now the Braithwaite lot. I thought it was a bit rum that you lose morality when robbing the train.

I had a nice N named horse (can't remember the specific name) that was nice and fast etc but it ran into a tree and I had to kill it. I've started treating my horses like cars in GTA - run them ragged, crash them into some shit then get another one. Fuck them.

[Ferris]

Buried in my previous post, but I think Hooves is probably the best name for a horse that I (or anyone else) has come up with.

[gmoney]

I've started naming horses after whatever podcast host I'm listening to at the time, so my last two have been Buxton and Paul Lewis.

[New Jack]

Called a horse Lady cause he calls em Lady and the stable owner said it was a shite name

Another one I named Duke and the stable guy said it was a good name!

.... Fucking hell I'm dull. Mind you, did a bit of genocide. Won a duel in Van Horn, which is a psycho city. Had to put em all down. Again.

Think my next horse will be called Prittstick

[PlanktonSideburns]

Love how completely deranged this thread sounds with out actual cowboy game context

[Penfold]

Named my white horsey White Lines
Named my black horsey Black Velvet
Just looking for a train to tame.

[Kryton]

Love how completely deranged this thread sounds with out actual cowboy game context

You should see how Crusader Kings II sounds without context.
https://www.destructoid.com/crusader-kings-ii-s-community-is-hilarious-when-taken-out-of-context-514623.phtml

[PlanktonSideburns]

You should see how Crusader Kings II sounds without context.
https://www.destructoid.com/crusader-kings-ii-s-community-is-hilarious-when-taken-out-of-context-514623.phtml

loving this, thanks

[New Jack]

[PlanktonSideburns]

paul whitehouse has lost weight

[QDRPHNC]

Online tomorrow for those who have the Ultimate Edition.
Who has the Ultimate Edition?
I have the Ultimate Edition.

[brat-sampson]

So long as I don't have to download like an extra 60Gb or anything...

[kittens]

just got 100% story. best game ever lads

[Ferris]

Online tomorrow for those who have the Ultimate Edition.
Who has the Ultimate Edition?
I have the Ultimate Edition.

I do. Can we be online cowboy friends?

[QDRPHNC]

Of course!

Oh no wait you're on PS.

[Rizla]

Making slow progress on this as I haven't been able to find the time and I want to enjoy it properly, not just blaze through like I did with GTAV. I did the debt collector mission with the old drunk dad last night, but I'd already killed him last week in a drunken fugue state (and tormented his terrified son with the lasso) so the house was empty. Felt such shame and regret. This fucking game, man.

Am up for a PS4 posse when the time comes.