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That's all I got

Started by clingfilm portent, November 14, 2016, 05:32:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

All you got?

All I got
2 (14.3%)
Nall I got
0 (0%)
(Timothy) Spall I got  
1 (7.1%)
(All Creatures Great and) Small I got
0 (0%)
(Johnny) Ball I got
2 (14.3%)
(Stones of) Gall I got
1 (7.1%)
(Reginald Perrin's Rise and) Fall I got
1 (7.1%)
Raoul Moat
2 (14.3%)
Fall-ah! I got-AH!
2 (14.3%)
the cool shoeshine
3 (21.4%)

Total Members Voted: 14

Spoon of Ploff

Blue cheese! Cheese that is actually the colour of blue!

dr_christian_troy

Something I wrote ages ago. I did a photoshop DVD cover but can't find it anywhere...

BLESSED BE THY NAME

In light of the popularity of Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sky 1 were eager to create a series rivalling the humour and controversy of the HBO series. After several untitled pilots were made with talent such as Bruce Forsyth (too nice), Ian Smith (popular but was committed to Neighbours) and Bill Oddie (walked out in the middle of filming due to an unprovoked attack from a deranged 'fan'), it was decided that Brian Blessed was the man for the job.

Blessed was concerned that the pilot felt too 'scripted', and suggested they just filmed him on his daily adventures. Patrick Stewart proved to be somewhat of a guide for the audience as Blessed's behaviour became increasingly odd. Stewart was the long-suffering sidekick, and it is still unknown if his breakdown in the penultimate episode ('The Three Musky Queers') was real or not, although it is believed they have reconciled as Stewart got Blessed a bit part on Family Guylater in the year. There was Noel Edmonds, a victim of Blessed's wrath, who tried on several occassions to prevent the show from being aired (but thankfully he gave in and even provides this DVD with a commentary [albeit mostly in tears] on eight episodes. Then there was Alan Davies, with whom Blessed picked a fight with on Twitter, ending in a disturbing confrontation outside of Blessed's home, an incident in which Ofcom received just over 6000 complaints. Guest appearances from a bemused Sir Ranulph Fiennes in three episodes, a rival to Blessed, proved popular with audiences, especially since Fiennes had no interest in being a part of, as he put it, 'such bollocks'.


Highlights include episodes such as:

Episode 3. EDMONDS ALIVE
Brian interrupts a recording of Deal Or No Deal and challenges Noel to an arm-wrestling match. Edmonds nervously accepts, only for Blessed to arrive later wearing a giant nappy, covered in Vaseline and swinging a dead dwarf in a Tesco bag.

Episode 7. COLD COMFORT FART
Whilst recovering from his near-death experience, Brian joins Twitter, only to find a strong reaction of comments to his descriptions of his bowel movements. After Alan Davies criticises him, Brian invites him over for dinner, during which he force feeds Alan a Baked Alaska full of gravel.

Episode 16. ZZZ-CARS
Brian gets caught in motorway traffic on the way to a radio job in Tunbridge Wells. After throwing a lance into a passing convertible, Brian causes a massive pile-up as he rolls from his moving car, walks into the nearest Little Chef and demands a house of cider. His old friend Patrick Stewart is called to pick him up, as he arrives to find Brian drunkenly using a chip fryer as a bidet.

Episode 22. RANULPH HOOD: PRINCE OF FIENNES
Brian attends a celebrity gala for charity, in the hope of encountering his nemesis, Sir Ranulph Fiennes. After a violent fight in Nandos regarding use of the frozen yogurt machine, Brian bets Fiennes he can reach the peak of the O2 before him, goaded on aggressively by the ghost of John Thaw.


Extras include:

'My Dinner with Patrick' - An extended scene from Episode 12 ('Blake's Tavern') in which Brian tries to convince Patrick to get him a part on Star Trek: The Next Generation, while Patrick tries to convince Brian it ended 14 years ago. Brian makes his famous shouting noise until Patrick silences him by inserting a whole poached salmon into his mouth.

'Climb Every Fountain' - Brian gives us a tour of his favourite fountains in and around London, and laments as to how he never reached the peak of Buxton Memorial due to an arrest.

'Blessed be the spear-chucker' - A cut scene considered too risqué to be aired from Episode 15 ('The Black Madder'), in which following Brian's outburst at the Medieval Fayre, Brian steals a lance and declares himself a 'spear-chucker', culminating in an 'unfortunate misunderstanding' with Lenny Henry.

'Brian's Enormous Cottage' - Brian gives us a tour around his country home, in which we see the soft side of his hilarious pint-sized gardener ('he's my little Turd', exclaims Blessed), and Brian demonstrates how he has taught his cat to laugh like him.

madhair60

^ That was in one of the CaB annuals, I think

Cuellar


dr_christian_troy

Quote from: madhair60 on February 17, 2020, 08:34:05 PM
^ That was in one of the CaB annuals, I think

I miss those days dearly.

PlanktonSideburns

brilliant

too good for this thread tho, so

FUCK OFF!

PlanktonSideburns

Onan the barbed hairy-un

greek god of cat dicks

Dex Sawash

Plants-based immigration system

BROMELIADS FUCK OFF

willy crossit

the safdies go on morcambe and wise and eric keeps calling them the tufties

PlanktonSideburns



bgmnts


DoesNotFollow


GMTV

Therapy Elephant Committee

Spoon of Ploff

Hegel's Bagels: Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without Bagels.

bgmnts

Teletubbies: Too Hot for TV!

petril

Early Doors: Deep Space Nine


Just been soundly buggered by Optimus Prime's six foot chrome cock. ASK ME ANYTHING!

Spoon of Ploff

The Botolph Claydon International Photography competition 2020 has been cancelled. No reason given.


Ferris

Replacing the word "heart" with the word "arse" in song titles

Total Eclipse of the Arse
My Arse Will Go On

Etc etc

DoesNotFollow


Ferris

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on March 02, 2020, 04:52:06 PM
Replacing the word "heart" with the word "arse" in song titles

Total Eclipse of the Arse
My Arse Will Go On

Etc etc

Rhythm Of My Arse

That's another one

petril

Save your arse my darling, save your arse...

Chollis

Wu Tang Clan ain't nothin to sniff at

Pingers

Graham Lineman's Bumper Book of Trans-exclusionary Yo' Momma jokes


Ferris

Putting the 'UK' into 'ukulele'

DoesNotFollow