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March 28, 2024, 04:02:41 PM

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That's all I got

Started by clingfilm portent, November 14, 2016, 05:32:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

All you got?

All I got
2 (14.3%)
Nall I got
0 (0%)
(Timothy) Spall I got  
1 (7.1%)
(All Creatures Great and) Small I got
0 (0%)
(Johnny) Ball I got
2 (14.3%)
(Stones of) Gall I got
1 (7.1%)
(Reginald Perrin's Rise and) Fall I got
1 (7.1%)
Raoul Moat
2 (14.3%)
Fall-ah! I got-AH!
2 (14.3%)
the cool shoeshine
3 (21.4%)

Total Members Voted: 14

Glebe

Quote from: touchingcloth on October 14, 2020, 09:49:38 PMAre you saying his cage is named "nah"?

Nah, I ain't.

The Shining except Boris Johnson is Jack Torrence? "Ooh, here's Boris!" Or something like that? Is that funny?

What is humour?

petril

we're the Tweenies son, and we haven't had any facking dinner

dissolute ocelot

A microscope that lets you see what's happening inside your microwave. In real time.

Glebe

If you like a lot of chocolate on y'biscuit then you are AIDS-tier.

Ferris

Gunpowder, Treason, and Cock.

The Mollusk

Kansas' Big Book of Things to Shout at Football Matches

1. GO ON MY FUCKIN WAYWARD SON!!!!!


...

hmm

dissolute ocelot

Need some kind of theory connecting everything in the world called "pinto".


The Mollusk

I vant to suck your dick

touchingcloth


Cuellar


Pingers

Are Brave Boys Adventure Golf. On hole 2 you have to putt the ball into Bobby Sands' mouth and it rolls into his stomach.

Mr Banlon

Arkwright goes to buy a birthday card for Granville. Comes back with a copy of Christian Discourses.

dissolute ocelot

Every time a Tesco self-service till rings, an angel gets its wings (stuck in an automatic door).

petril

Quote from: The Mollusk on October 21, 2020, 07:08:48 AM
Kansas' Big Book of Things to Shout at Football Matches

1. GO ON MY FUCKIN WAYWARD SON!!!!!


...

hmm

things you hear at airports:

1. I'm very sorry sir, your wayward son will have to travel in the hold on this flight

Ferris

Something about Kenneth Williams and Sid James joining Kansas and only writing one song.

batwings

Funnily enough Roland, the dreams in which you're dying are the best i've ever had too.

pancreas

Carrying the Can. Thriller starring Daniel Radcliffe as an employee in the quality control department of Heinz who must prove his innocence after he is framed for spiking a whole day's worth of beans with Ipecac.

dissolute ocelot

Can The Can, with Philip Schofield. ITV, Saturday Night. You probably have to show you can do things, maybe in some kind of can?

frajer

Can-Du Attitude. In the mythical land of Can-Du, people are optimistic about achieving goals.

Ferris

Quote from: frajer on October 27, 2020, 04:36:49 PM
Can-Du Attitude. In the mythical land of Can-Du, people are optimistic about achieving goals.

Can-Du in the Wind

The follow up documentary, detailing the failure of the mythical land of Can-Du and its people to achieve any goals at all.

pancreas

Can-Du Crush, gory mobile phone game where you have to suppress rebellions in the land of Can-Du during its time under the control of the East India Company. Got banned from the App Store following BLM protests.

Pingers

A version of Cinderella where it's not a shoe but a 6" diameter butt plug.

An erectile dysfunction product called Lazarus. It doesn't work, they just thought it would be funny.

Replies From View

what if you were bitten by a radioactive anus

non capisco

Quote from: Captain Z on October 21, 2020, 02:19:47 PM
https://www2.b3ta.com/lets-fist-again/

OOH OOOOOH, I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE, ACTUALLY! Get a life, Captain Z, you square. I've got a life, why don't you get one?

non capisco

How about come on baby, let's do the fist?

pancreas

I fist a girl and I like it

pancreas

Bucket Fist: terminally ill patients get a visit in hospital by a celebrity they admire. But with a twist fist. Hosted by Esther Rantzen.

Ferris

Quote from: non capisco on October 28, 2020, 12:02:05 AM
OOH OOOOOH, I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE, ACTUALLY! Get a life, Captain Z, you square. I've got a life, why don't you get one?

I've been singing this to myself and chuckling away at my own inventiveness. I realize now I've been Derren-Browned and what I thought was a free choice of obscene song was actually implanted in my brain.

Replies From View

That song where they go "ohhhhhh threee fingers two toes one up one down and chisel me up keep moving, three fingers two toes one up one down and chisel me tits keep moving, three fingers two toes one up one down and chisel me cock keep moving, they all keep tumbling down" except it's a kids show and everyone is naked and also parched


So parched that there's little glasses of water arranged near the camera and throughout the chisel dance the performers are constantly rushing up to the little glasses and gasping and trying to hoover out even the tiniest droplets from them using their mouths.  But they are scared of their producer so they quickly return to their dancing spots to continue the chisel dance.