That's all I got

[Cuellar]

They know they're onions

[dissolute ocelot]

They know they're onions

Exposé of the O'Nions family

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Atari Arse Counter

Anyone understand the point of this?  You peg it to the base of your spine and it stares downwards for a day, counting your arse.

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A wild west scenario - one of those saloon bars with cowboys lounging around being macho and drinking whatever they drink, except a baby in a cot has been placed near the back.


What happens is every now and then one of the macho cowboy fellas has a moment of panic at their table, they freeze and mutter 'oh no', sharply stand up and anxiously waddle up to the baby in the cot.  It's as if they've discovered they urgently need a shit - exactly the same as that, except they rush over to the baby and just stand there with their eyes closed, looking peaceful as all fuck.

After a few moments of intense concentration you see these thought-wave things travelling from the macho cowboy to the baby.  These last a couple of minutes, and now calmed the macho cowboy returns to his seat and resumes whatever he was doing at the table - drinking or playing dominoes or whatever the fuck

And it keeps happening all day.  All these fuckin cowboys sharply standing up all of a sudden and rushing over to be next to the baby, and these thought-waves passing over and then placated they return to their tables like nothing even happened.


So I ask the bar man what's going on with the baby.  He's all his bullshit about needing to buy licquor first, so I do.  Buy some fuckin licquor and it costs too fuckin much for a non-drinker


Anyway turns out these cowboys are having gay thoughts all day.  Freaks em out so they need to urgently transfer them over to a baby.  Better to have one baby grow up gay than all the men in town, the barman says


and the music stops.  assuming a stranger must have walked in or something I look over to the door, but nobody's there.  I glance over to the pianist and his face is frozen like 'ooop' - and next thing he's standing next to the baby trying to be calm




fuckin madness that place

[Chollis]

there's a glans in my kitchen what am i gonna do

[frajer]

Space Jam but with Terence Stamp in the Michael Jordan role and no other changes.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Erykah Baddiel

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Paul McCartney says:  BETTER BUY BOLD

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Christopher Walken says:  IF IT IS YOUR COCK, THEN IT IS SMALL



and he's already walking away before the interviewer can get another question in


and Christopher Walken has a weird way of walking away; it's always directly parallel with wherever the camera is pointing, so he never turns off to the side and just gets smaller and smaller until he can't be seen anymore.



very very odd man

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no idea what Christopher Walken was getting at there.  Your guess is about as good as mine, I'd say.

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Maybe he was saying "see something small?  Well here is me getting smaller into the distance to show what it means" but really I dunno.


Just a spectacularly odd man

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"and you know my surname, right.  Well you may have noticed it has some passing resemblance to the verb 'walking'.  So for the sake of some viewers at home, here now is some walking.  Ok, watching?  Right:  here goes nothing!!"



But I dunno.  Your guess is equally as valid as all this.  It's just my first impressions, you know.





Just find him deeply peculiar with all the things he does.  An profoundly odd man.

[Spoon of Ploff]

A thread called 'There's More'









^{was going to go for 'And There's More' but Jimmy Cricket would probably sue.}

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A thread called 'what buttocks are there'


in which people discuss what buttocks are out there in existence

[PlanktonSideburns]

Plain buttocks

[touchingcloth]

That's Alf I got.

Could be a thread about the person who placed a life size inflatable model of E.T. at Diana's grave.

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A thread called

Please start a new thread for every toothache

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A thread called

Where the wires are



all about where the wires are

[dissolute ocelot]

Thread Dinenage.

[bgmnts]

Ivor the Engine joins Meibion Glyndwr.

[rue the polywhirl]

This thread sang to Nine Inch Nails' 'That's What I Get'. All the individual posts in the thread make up the verses.

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some kind of mange tout that when you put it on your tongue it instantly turns black and dissolvant, like those revolting indoor fireworks


taste horrific too.  like amongst the top eight worst foods.  and they make you go fat

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GNIMMUB

It's the chemical antidote to bumming.

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Surface-to-air missiles that when they hit you make you go from being on a surface to being in the air.  And the only way to go back to being on a surface is to be struck by an air-to-surface missile.

[frajer]

Surface-to-air missiles that when they hit you make you go from being on a surface to being in the air.  And the only way to go back to being on a surface is to be struck by an air-to-surface missile.

Christopher Nolan just got a boner.

[bgmnts]

Covid: Isolation

[Cuellar]

GNIMMUB

Eagerly anticipated follow-up to Under Milk Wood proclaimed 'disappointing'

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Yet Further Apparitions of Deathly Bumming

Edition 6 of the popular Denis Norden spookathon.

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Christopher Nolan just got a boner.

He always boasts that his boners use practical effects rather than CGI.

[batwings]

[wrong thread]