That's all I got

[Dannyhood91]

Failing the aptitude test to become a nonce

Making your nan orgasm via Morse code

Releasing 65 howler monkeys into the gaff of the lass you fancy

Taking the nephew to see Dickheads on Ice

A troublesome encounter with the wrong knee

Tattooing your National insurance number on your infant sons torso

Rough and Tumble flavoured crisps

A degree in Argos

Dogfuckers weekly

[Cuellar]

Love all those

[Dannyhood91]

Playing synth with your pubes

Olympic dick wrestling

Holding a psychopaths hand in an orchid

A ceremony for a bitch

Donating a spare half hour to a tramp

Resting a crown on your sleeping dads dick

[Dannyhood91]

Good grief! It's raining documents!

A nose picking marathon

Doing a gram of ket for Children in Need

I have a warrant to stroke your chin

A 1.8% surcharge on self esteem

Failing to open a tin of plumbs in front of a live studio audience

I can't even explain, how essentially grateful I am, to have the amazing pleasure of letting you kill my toddler via TKO second round

[Dannyhood91]

50 ways to lock your door

An interview with a piano

Tracking down your old moustache

Leaving the kitchen on fire because it looks nice like that

Booting a cherished memory in the stomach

Doing weekend shifts as a bishop

Filling a stadium with plonkers

[Ferris]

Rob Brydon, Rob Brydon
Does whatever, voiceovers he can
Steve Coogan thinks he rocks
He can do "small man in a box"
Look out! Here comes Rob Brydon!

_{fucking hell thats bad. post.}

[Gregory Torso]

Failing the aptitude test to become a nonce

Taking the nephew to see Dickheads on Ice

Rough and Tumble flavoured crisps

I have a warrant to stroke your chin

Tracking down your old moustache

Leaving the kitchen on fire because it looks nice like that

Those were all excellent, but these were my favourites.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Bob the balligerent spell checker.

A crime fighter called constable Paintings.. who does watercolours in his spare time.

The unlikely lads.

If AIDS was a dog what kind of dog would it be?

Top ten turnip misshaps of 1996

Whiskers envy.. a real or imaginary thing?

What if there were only 2,234,678,097 letter Qs left?

[Norton Canes]

'Stung in the helmet'. But I went with it. Because my daddy said to me, "Hell, son, you always got to go with your best shot."

[Cuellar]

Meal Replacement Bus Service

You know, like those shakes you get that you're meant to have instead of meals. And replacement bus services.

[Chollis]

"Look mum, no glans!" shouts a child riding a bicycle

[Chollis]

Sketty Wainthropp Investigates

set on a council estate or something

[the]

Meal Replacement Bus Service

You know, like those shakes you get that you're meant to have instead of meals. And replacement bus services.

I like that one, that's a good solid 6 out of 10. You know where you stand with an idea like that.

[Dannyhood91]

Visiting your GP to show off your new haircut

Moshers on the green

Kentucky fried steeples

A gothic newborn

Milking the Avon lady

[a duncandisorderly]

Bob the balligerent spell checker.

he's on his way & he's got you in his sights.

[dallasman]

Bob the balligerent spell checker.

Keeps your spells in check, with his balls.

A crime fighter called constable Paintings.. who does watercolours in his spare time.

Could his boss be DI Whyfurniture?

The unlikely lads.

[tag]Milverton tags a trans thread[/tag]

If AIDS was a dog what kind of dog would it be?

a RAW DOG, dawg! hi-5
Eeeeyy...tch I.V. Chihuahua
Rhodesian Bareback
Golden Reciever
St. Bonehard
Shitzu Jizzu
Insatiable Alsatian
Terminal Terrier
Late Danois

Top ten turnip misshaps of 1996

All of my shaps came off particularly well that year, actually.

Whiskers envy.. a real or imaginary thing?

Paws for thought.

What if there were only 2,234,678,097 letter Qs left?

God damn you to hell, Spoon of Ploff! It's "letters Q", and now we've wasted two of the bastards on your question! Three! Fuqqqqqq!!!


ta-daa, and that's all I got

Great page though guys. Dannyhood on fire there!

[non capisco]

The Jools In The Crown
Jools Holland gets made king but then The Sun take a picture though the window of him fucking his own crown.

[non capisco]

'Unexpected item in bagging area'

You look in the bagging area and it's a snake with your nan's face.

[non capisco]

'The apple of my eye'

Some bloke suddenly with an apple there instead of one of his eyes going "ARGGHHHH! FUCKING HELL! HELP MEEEEEE!"

[Ferris]

Dinosaurs, but better.

[pancreas]

The Gripes of Roth. Phillip Roth's complaint letters in the Guardian's new weekend feature.

[Ferris]

A knockabout Ben Elton early-'80s style sitcom about the succession of a new young North Korean supreme leader; The Jong 'Uns.

"Hands up who likes me!"

Writes itself.

[Spoon of Ploff]

jonathan meades explores the history of locked threads on CAB and what it means for contemporay architecture in milton keynes. Can't think of a suitable title.

[dallasman]

Guy dresses like a bird

[Dannyhood91]

Indoctrinating a sloth into the 9/11 conspiracy

Smuggling flowers into the heart of Norfolk

Halal oxygen

How Deep Is Your Dinner

[Dannyhood91]

A hedge cutting holiday to Suffolk

I challenge you to a conversation!

Shagging your way to the bottom of the company hierarchy

Inturpting a eulogy with an extended moan

A dynasty goes into liquidation

[Dannyhood91]

We're fanatical about smegma

Pro Evo and Beyblades with Assad

[doppelkorn]

Shirley Bassey: AND IT'S ALL JUST A LITTLE BIT OF SLAMMING YOUR BOLLOCKS IN A CAR DOOR

[dallasman]

[non capisco]

THE FAMILY JOOLS

You go back and visit your parents and they're suddenly both Jools Holland. "Step this way, step this way...the wonderful...spare bedroom!"