Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 5,559,184
  • Total Topics: 106,348
  • Online Today: 719
  • Online Ever: 3,311
  • (July 08, 2021, 03:14:41 AM)
Users Online
Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 05:29:52 AM

Login with username, password and session length

That's all I got

Started by clingfilm portent, November 14, 2016, 05:32:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

All you got?

All I got
2 (14.3%)
Nall I got
0 (0%)
(Timothy) Spall I got  
1 (7.1%)
(All Creatures Great and) Small I got
0 (0%)
(Johnny) Ball I got
2 (14.3%)
(Stones of) Gall I got
1 (7.1%)
(Reginald Perrin's Rise and) Fall I got
1 (7.1%)
Raoul Moat
2 (14.3%)
Fall-ah! I got-AH!
2 (14.3%)
the cool shoeshine
3 (21.4%)

Total Members Voted: 14

Lordofthefiles

Sport Relief 2019.
Live Action Dan Dare.

Harry Kane as the titular hero and Vincent Kompany as The Mekon.

the


pancreas

Netflix series The Queen, but set in an ants' nest.

Netflix series The Queen, but set in a drag commune.

Pingers

"Spit n Shove" with Bob Carolgees

pancreas

Disease where you can only shit while looking at pictures of Ian Botham.

PlanktonSideburns

enter the spider hearse more like

Cuellar

Disease where when you shit Ian Botham looks at you

Pingers

Disease where you only do shits that look like Ian Botham. Although your diarrhoea looks like Bob Willis.

Lordofthefiles


"Sexing Chicks"


A 42 part reality TV "experience" that explores the weird and wonderful world of The Zen-Nippon Chick Sexing School in Japan.
Presented by Philip Scofield and anyone from an ever revolving set of blonde cunts with big mouths that seem to appear in anything and everything on ITV.
The hilarity never stops as "Pip" and Blonde Cunt go into a ten minute fit of hysterics every time someone mentions "sex", "sexing", "chick sex" or "sexing chicks".

Already greenlit for a second, third and fourth series, two Christmas specials and an "Easter Eggstravaganza" episode.


-----


"Sexing Chicks: All Night Long"


To be shown on ITV2 throughout the evening as a companion piece.
Presented by another Blonde Cunt and Rylan.
We get to meet the night shift workers at the school's dedicated chickfactory. Following the low paid, semi-skilled capers of the nocturnal crew as they organise the pre-sexed chicks into their new homes; the females are slung into a pit of dirt, shit and seeds, whilst the male chicks are placed into a soundproof room with a floor made from a huge industrial grinding machine.


PlanktonSideburns

Great post, too good for this thread, so go and fuck yourself - but also well done

Cuellar


batwings

Game show where you have to guess the age of genitals from closeup photos. Revolving hosts, starting with Neil and Christine Hamilton.

Dempsey & Codpiece - A hardboiled NYC cop forms a crime fighting duo with a medieval minstrel.

Spoon of Ploff

Who creased my trousers?

Starring Ant or Dec... whichever one isn't in rehab/prison that month.

Dex Sawash


Spoon of Ploff

Wahey man for Godot: The Geordie version.

Paul Calf

Should I bunk off from work and go and sleep in my car?

Pingers

Mullet of Kintyre: a show where the residents of Campbeltown all grow a mullet and compete for the "best" one. The winner is Kevin McGlade, a 52 year old farmer with a dog called n**ger

mrpupkin

GG Allin Carpool Karaoke

Lordofthefiles

Titler: A Warning from History

A dramatised account of the rise and fall of Adolf Hitler played by Lolo Ferrari.

Fishfinger

You could do a stand up and say, "Anyone here from [likely place]???" and wave your arms up in the air. Then if at least one person responded in a similar way, perhaps going 'Woooo!', you could focus on them and say, "What? It was a simple yes and no question. Is that how you respond to all questions?" Then absorb the laughter from everyone else, because you need it to live. Then go, like, "It makes me wonder what your answer would be in other situations. Like, if the question were yelled, 'HEY, I HOPE YOU CAN ALL HEAR ME OVER THE NOISE OF THE HELICOPTER NEXT TO US WHOSE ROTORS ARE WHIRRING RIGHT ABOVE. WHAT I NEED TO KNOW IS, ARE YOU ALL FAMILIAR WITH BASIC HELICOPTER/ROTOR SAFETY PROTOCOLS?'" Then you wave your arms up in the air and go 'Wooooo' and mime that they're being severed and blood is spurting.

pancreas

^ Stuart Lee told. Ah, now that's the good stuff, you indolent wanker.

Ferris


Lordofthefiles

"David Blowie"

A gritty drama set in an alternate timeline that follows the exploits of a young David Jones who, having never met Mick Ronson, is forced to work his way up the slippery slope of stardom by giving 'Sweet Head' to all and sundry in an attempt to curry enough favour to get a record deal.

A found footage film composed of Martin Freeman's looks to camera. But the camera belongs to his stalker.

Pingers

Wagamama

From Bowl to Arsehole*


* 40 hours average transit time. Wagamama cannot be held responsible for delays, early arrivals or anus burn

ToneLa

That's less than I got, tbh, much less, surprised you're even dragging this up again after last time, boss.

Lordofthefiles

"Bong Jovi" - a soft-reggae tribute act

Captain Poodle Basher

In an effort to fill the Time Team-shaped hole in the tv schedule.

That's My Dig

Two teams of archeology students attempt to identify their excavation site from aerial photos, close-ups of exploration trenches and assorted shards of Medieval pottery.

Winning team gets a box containing a That's My Dig mug each - which have been smashed into pieces so they must reconstruct them.


the midnight watch baboon

Porthole: Porthole

The spotlight is turned on mariners