Oft-forgotten gems from the Alan Partridge canon

[Pancake]

Don't know why, but I love the bit on MMM where he's talking along to "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago after his break-up with Angela:
And this is the KEY point

Love that whole bit. "Yeah well she can want her arse off"

[Pancake]

"Special K"

"Special Kate"

"So true.."

[Pancake]

Oooh I'm really scared! I am a bit...

[Pancake]

Do you own a quarry?

[turnstyle]

"Some people have described The Who as The Kinks for welders"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w021jVKjBw

[popcorn]

"Some people have described The Who as The Kinks for welders"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4w021jVKjBw

Roger Daltrey does a really good job in this too.

Alan is really a great character for Comic Relief, because he's so relentlessly selfish that it means he can actually make it funny. You can have a celeb like Roger doing a genuine appeal for donations while Alan is noisily beeping on his phone. They can have their cake and eat it. (Though I'm not sure if this was actually for Comic Relief.)

[Pancake]

And as you know I don't drink eggs any more

[Glebe]

"I exchanged produce for cash, time and again."

[solidified gruel merchant]

Can't remember the exact quote but the bit about eating wotsits in bed and sleeping on the crumbs which are then absorbed into the body and sweated out.
Also brings to mind the bit about the sweat under the belt line that solidified into little black bits. Which he ate.
Delightfully disgusting!

[Kryton]

I love the bit in Nomad when he's packed loads of stuff in his rucksack but realises it's too heavy so he gets Lynn to come on a bus to come and pick it up / or gets Fedex to move it from place to place.

Also when he sets up tent on the bowling green and struggles for several hours with a 6-man tent before finding a smaller Buzz Lightyear tent which he describes as no bigger than a condom.

[kalowski]

I love the bit in Nomad when he's packed loads of stuff in his rucksack but realises it's too heavy so he gets Lynn to come on a bus to come and pick it up / or gets Fedex to move it from place to place.

Also when he sets up tent on the bowling green and struggles for several hours with a 6-man tent before finding a smaller Buzz Lightyear tent which he describes as no bigger than a condom.

There's another brilliant bit where he holds a torch in his mouth a bit like a TV detective, but it's a huge Mag Light and his stretched mouth reminds him of when "the only thing left to eat with is a dessert spoon."

[Kryton]

Or when he's describing his Flint character (a Swallow spin-off) in which the reason Flint became a firefighter was because his wife's side of the bed was incinerated and presumably his wife. Utterly absurd.

[QDRPHNC]

But this "Flint" doesn't start fires - he puts them out! Except for the one that killed his wife.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Wouldn't it be fucking amazing if Partridge got to make Swallow or Flint and we got to see it?

[QDRPHNC]

Get yer man who did 24 hour party people and tristram shandy to film a behind the scenes doc of Swallow being made, following around Exec Prod Partridge.

[popcorn]

Wouldn't it be fucking amazing if Partridge got to make Swallow or Flint and we got to see it?

It could be great if it were just a pilot or something, but those "deliberately bad" comedy things are always diminishing returns IMO. eg Black Dynamite - the trailer is funnier than the movie.

[Kryton]

Wouldn't it be fucking amazing if Partridge got to make Swallow or Flint and we got to see it?

It's the next meta-level of Partridge after his podcasts maybe?

[cacciaguida]

Get yer man who did 24 hour party people and tristram shandy to film a behind the scenes doc of Swallow being made, following around Exec Prod Partridge.

This is surely the way to do it.

[cacciaguida]

Wouldn't it be fucking amazing if Partridge got to make Swallow or Flint and we got to see it?

Or, perhaps, Gethsemane.

[Cold Meat Platter]

I suppose Pear Tree Productions already produce his documentaries so it's feasible he might make a pilot, off the back off his BBC comeback exposure maybe?

I'm just spitballing here in a purely hypothetical sense.

[Kryton]

I suppose Pear Tree Productions already produce his documentaries so it's feasible he might make a pilot, off the back off his BBC comeback exposure maybe?

I'm just spitballing here in a purely hypothetical sense.

It could feasibly work as an 'Extras' kind of thing in which we see the production, the behind the scenes and the stage action (and all the problems Partridge could face when involved). But then that's not particularly original as Gervais has already done it.

Maybe an audiobook?

[Captain Z]

I'd be happy just seeing the Swallow opening credit sequence realised.

[Spudgun]

If we're up for a crossover, I'd love for Garth Marenghi to be drafted in to work on Swallow's pilot episode. That would be the meeting of two very special egos.

[Gurke and Hare]

Actually I don't want to talk to someone called Lucian.

[spaghetamine]

'You can go anywhere you like, Alan, apart from one room.' He just stood in front of my path and said, 'Don't go in there.' I said I thought you said I could go anywhere. And he said 'Just drop it', and, er, all the love went from his eyes. Chilling.

[magval]

Did Alan present an entire episode of TFI Friday, was it any good and does anyone have it?

[QDRPHNC]

'You can go anywhere you like, Alan, apart from one room.' He just stood in front of my path and said, 'Don't go in there.' I said I thought you said I could go anywhere. And he said 'Just drop it', and, er, all the love went from his eyes. Chilling.

Reminds me of the lovely phrase, "farmyard-to-table strategist".

[Pancake]

I said 'Tony, if you live by the bogaxe, you die by the bogaxe'

[Pancake]

We've got a text in from Helen in Diss, she says 'I go to the toilet straight away, get rid of it as quickly as possible, then I can enjoy my wash once empty'

[Malcy]

Did Alan present an entire episode of TFI Friday, was it any good and does anyone have it?

Yeah he did. I think I have it somewhere. If I find it I'll upload it.

Edit - Don't have it to hand but there's bits on Dailymotion.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3iw0j7