Oft-forgotten gems from the Alan Partridge canon

[rm2kmaster]

"I once inherited a clock. Beats buying 'em."

Funny in itself, but the fact he uses this exact phrase twice (in a Mid-Morning Matters and then in Scissored Isle) really tickles me as it's clearly something Alan feels is a good insight despite being weirdly specific and mundane.

Also a favourite of mine.

[Captain Z]

"WHOOSH! He's swimming now, his body slicing through the water like a sharp dolphin"

[Norton Canes]

"Four years ago, Susan lost her hand in a cake-cutting machine. She managed to walk 400 yards, holding her hand in her other hand, where she hailed a taxi. One can only imagine what that must have looked like"

[zammo1]

And I was still on the dance floor at 8 o' clock the next morning.

At 10 o' clock I had a meeting with the mayor.

[Ornlu]

Learned from one of the comments that at the 2.49 mark of the KMKY ABBA Medley, Gina Langland - who has to rush off for her gig at Earls Court - checks Alan's watch for the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnFT2eQy_Cw

[Terryfuckwit]

Knowing Me, Knowing You! ♪♫♬


...with Alan Partridge

[Norton Canes]

Apropos of nothing in particular I've just mistyped 'analogy' as 'alanogy', which should surely be coined as a term for a particular kind of Partridge pronouncement. 

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

The laboured intro to the World Cup segment:

"...as we look forward to all the sporting action that will take place in this year's 1994
World Cup finals in America, in Alan Partridge's World Cup Countdown to '94."

[Spudgun]

Learned from one of the comments that at the 2.49 mark of the KMKY ABBA Medley, Gina Langland - who has to rush off for her gig at Earls Court - checks Alan's watch for the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnFT2eQy_Cw

Something else a surprising number of people miss is Joe Beazley lobbing Cheeky Monkey across the stage as he walks off in a huff:

https://youtu.be/Y6oajPBSnO8?t=3m18s

[paruses]

To the French racing driver in the radio series:

"What's your favourite haute cuisine; hot food?"

[Sgt. Duckie]

'Perhaps Brian was merely an invention of my fortified wine addled mind. Perhaps in my drunkenness I'd been sitting here shooting the breeze with a pile of old, pissy clothes.'

[St_Eddie]

Something else a surprising number of people miss is Joe Beazley lobbing Cheeky Monkey across the stage as he walks off in a huff:

https://youtu.be/Y6oajPBSnO8?t=3m18s

Who the heck misses that?!  It's the punchline to the whole skit and absolutely brilliant.  Poor Cheeky Monkey!

[Spudgun]

Who the heck misses that?!  It's the punchline to the whole skit and absolutely brilliant.  Poor Cheeky Monkey!

I've had to point it out to more than one person. I love the fact that it comes so soon after Joe being so protective of anyone even touching the monkey, and the next thing you know...

[yesitsme]

I think it's when Alan comes out of the bathroom pre-chocolate mousee fuelled sexual liason with a woman in her 50s he has a big terry towel dressing gown on and a small hand towel which he twirls around and tries to casually hook around his neck but it's too small and just springs open.

Nice little bit of business.

[jobotic]

Something else a surprising number of people miss is Joe Beazley lobbing Cheeky Monkey across the stage as he walks off in a huff:

https://youtu.be/Y6oajPBSnO8?t=3m18s

It's his little "Oh God" that is my favourite bit.

[Ferris]

The audiobooks have a surprisingly high number of these

"...it's a wrap-party for season 38 of Watchdog, which I still think should have been called Ombudsman, but I'm keeping my thoughts to myself on that tonight..."

"Rightly or wrongly, by which I mean wrongly, people feel a sense of ownership over their DJs..."

"Ray Mears once told me, and indeed anyone who watched that night's episode, that humans only use 10% of their strength..."

[Captain Z]

Frig it! I work hard, it's friday night... I want a glass of wiiine

[QDRPHNC]

oooooooh Ladyboys

[Chriddof]

The whole peculiar and completely ill-thought-out World Cup '94 Countdown guide with the "Soccer Meter" in The Day Today. Most people remember the goal commentaries at the start, but other highlights are:

* His absurdly long introductory link
* The convoluted way the Soccer Meter works, where it can only be properly seen from a camera up in the ceiling, it has alphabetical ordering that stops at N, and the colour codes ("...that's my colour coding, not FIFA's...")
* "They get progressively... le - fewer..."
* When starting to demonstrate the Soccer Meter, one of the signpost things noisily brushes against his clip mic, making him do this odd little "aaaaahhh" sound
* Not being able to locate San Francisco when it's right in front of him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SPIaDGTYgc

[magval]

That 'aaaaaa' that you mentioned is one my favourite sounds. I love the sounds Alan makes when he's in pain, however minor.

[Ferris]

The correct distinction between less/fewer infinitely endears him to me.

[magval]

Where is it that he broadcasts the distinction between repel and repulse? MMM?

[Yussef Dent]

"Between Chile and Paraguay, something like that," neither of those nations were in that World Cup, in fact Chile were banned from qualifying for it.

[Jobey]

Knowing Me Alan Partridge, Sacking You Glen Ponder.

[Utter Shit]

Where is it that he broadcasts the distinction between repel and repulse? MMM?

Yeah, MMM. One of the occasional times where he goes into what I assume is an attempt at a vague Terry Wogan impression. Or is that just me? A number of times he puts on Wogan's intonation, though not really the accent.

[magval]

Knowing Me Alan Partridge, Sacking You Glen Ponder.

Alan flubs a line in that scene. Says he gave Glen his 'brig break'.

[Chollis]

On Fred West - "that man...what a Dilbert!"  as if Fred's just spilled a drink or something

the
"Alan...Alan....Alan!"
"nngghappyvalentine"

jingle I can't seem to find a clip of

[St_Eddie]

I don't care much for the second series of I'm Alan Partridge (it's too broad, in my opinion) but there's undeniably some crackling lines in there.  Two of my favourite Michael moments from said series...

Micheal: "I cannae not talk to the customers, man. Look, what does it say on me badge; "Michael, I'm here to help."
Alan:  "No it doesn't, it just says 'Michael'."
Michael:  "Oh, aye. It does."
Alan:  "Why did you think it said the rest?"
Michael:  "I don't know. I must have dreamt it."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael:  "I cannae punch customers, man.  I've been told."

[vainsharpdad]

Oh, he's just a mate.

[Utter Shit]

That line about not hitting customers is fantastic. So much back story packed into eight words.