Oft-forgotten gems from the Alan Partridge canon

[MuteBanana]

Jesus Christ. The joke is that Alan, local DJ, only likes a Best Of compilation. That's it.

False. The joke is Alan is trying to appear cool to Matt(Matt?) but isn't actually a fan of the Beatles(Wings. They're only the band the Beatles could've been) and so doesn't know any of their albums. He gets away with referring to a compilation album to spare his blushes.

It's that simple.

[Bad Ambassador]

We've all seen the big-headed boys on farms.

[wooders1978]

We've all seen the big-headed boys on farms.

Eared - STOP GETTING PARTRIDGE WRONG!

[kalowski]

The last time I was there I took some pot and I was briefly mindless. And as I say he has a huge dog and he may well be drunk and unleash it because normally I ring ahead.

and later...

You're probably sick of canteen food from being on tour... I forgot, you're not Bono

[Cuellar]

I've always liked the wistful "Massive, it was" when describing the fictitious bowl of Alpen Bono would eat, he's genuinely convinced himself that it happened.

[Ferris]

I've always liked the wistful "Massive, it was" when describing the fictitious bowl of Alpen Bono would eat, he's genuinely convinced himself that it happened.

"Yeah, I knew that because he composed the first half of it over there, and the other half... over there"

[Tikwid]

Still can't get over how amazing the "Berk of the Week" jingle in MMM S2 E6 is. The chuckling Dave Clifton(?) intro, all the voices coming together to mock the titular berk, the weird circus music in the background, and then Alan's final cry of "you're an idiot!". What I wouldn't give to see Alan's face when he recorded that line.

[Terryfuckwit]

That entire Angela break up episode of MMM. Can anyone find one joke that doesn't land and isn't hilarious?

The aforementioned Berk of the Week.

Argument on the phone with Angela.

'We fucking love each other'
'Will you talk to her?' 'What?'. 'I want to play your bum like the bongoes'. Talking over After All This Time.

'Please please please though Angela'.

'Just chatting to Gustev.'
'Is he alright?'
'Yeah, he's just a genuine friend of mine'.

'Christ almighty, take the caravan. Sure, take the dog too.'
'You know your new business venture, everyone thinks it's shit. Including your sister.'

His dog telling him he'll always be his friend.
'Bet you wanted to hug him?'
'Yeah but when I turned around he was over by the bins eating pa-ACH...pate'.

[Mobius]

THIS IS VISAGE FADE TO GR EY

[Ferris]

"Cliff Thorburn is a sn- ex-snooker player..."

[Mobius]

"If you put fennel in there .. we're going to fall out"

[Tikwid]

Argument on the phone with Angela.

"Angela if you dump me now I will Ņ͝E̷̵V̧E͜R͏̕ speak to you again - in fact I'm gonna dump you first - N̢̜̥̫E̜V̸̦͈͇͉̝Ȩ̴̫͍̬͔̙͖̪͟R̷͙̝ ̴̝̬̪̟͇̀C̢̣͚̼͖̺A̘̜̬͎͚̳͘L̴͉͚̥̫͜͡L̲̤̼͕̣̗̤̀͘ ̤̝͉͉͠M͍͈̥̖͈E̝͉͈͍̟̩͈͔ ̴̴̨͈̳̫̟͙͎A̙̺̕G̷̟̀͞A͚̣̙Ḭ̢̳͍̤͈̳̳̳͕͡͝N̨͔͕͡"

[Mobius]

Alan's dream dinner party

"Jesus Christ. Margaret Thatcher. Denis Thatcher. Carol Thatcher. And... Mark Thatcher."

[græskar]

The Alan Partridge Blazer Badge Combination with his motto in Latin: "Cognoscens me - Cognoscens te - Aha"

[Twed]

Would be great to get somebody to translate that!

[marquis_de_sad]

Can't work out the first bit, but apparently 'aha' is an 'exclamation expressing surprise/irony'.

[Noodle Lizard]

"Inception"

[BritishHobo]

Had a massive Christmas Eve country ramble today and ploughed through loads of the Nomad audiobook, which I've not done since my first listen when it came out. I love how much Alan loves his walks, but I love even more how casually he admits, during the 'training montage' for his journey that he's getting fit by swimming, not walking, 'because walking is boring'.

One thing that really made me laugh is Alan trying to get into the business park which stands where his childhood home was. "Have you got an appointment?" "Since when do you need an appointment to get into your own home?!" The friendly, innocent way he says it, I love. And as with a lot of Partridge, there's something stupidly compelling at first thought about it - that you eternally have free access to the physical space where your childhood home was.

[Tikwid]

Few more that've come to mind lately:

- Near the start of one of the MMMs, Alan's comment that he can be found on the North Norfolk Digital chatroom "from 3PM until the wee small hours". He phrases it glibly, but ultimately it boils down to an amazing mental image: Alan sat in front of his computer way past midnight, engaged in balistics debates with the weirdos that he regularly disparages on his show, trying not to let the creeping loneliness slip in.

- In Alpha Papa, one of the Gordale Media bigwigs at the party saying that he doesn't like black and white or subtitles in films. Something about the way he says it which really cements the dickishness of NND's new guard, even from one of their higher-ups. (also from the same scene: "the camera anglessss")

- JASON STATHAM. JASON BOURRRNE. JASON ARGONAUT.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

We've all seen the big-headed boys on farms.

We've all smelt the small-bollocked men on ships

[Ferris]

I've just realized I've never seen the second season of mid-morning matters. This is terrific.

[kalowski]

"The grunted chant of the balaclava or the reasoned oratory of the North Norfolk Huntsman..."

[kalowski]

God, that whole section: "If they cross the line there's a thousand boys from the countryside alliance ready to go."

[rm2kmaster]

"The grunted chant of the balaclava or the reasoned oratory of the North Norfolk Huntsman..."

"I see what you mean now"

[BritishHobo]

"At the time, I'd been listening to Ebony and Ivory a lot - a lot."

[Kryton]

We've all smelt the small-bollocked men on ships

Lads with big hair.

[checkoutgirl]

It's just a cushion that simulates rectal gas

[St_Eddie]

Lads with big hair.

Disgusting.

It's just a cushion that simulates rectal gas

Especially disgusting.

[Mobius]

"Well it's bank holiday, which traditionally would have meant you'd be in a car on your way to the seaside with a Li-Lo, a dog full of sand, some hard-boiled Werther's Originals, or whatever. But these days, unfortunately, it's more likely to mean a child watching a violent computer game and pornography while shouting "I hate you!" to his parents who are downstairs having a cocaine and ecstasy-fuelled orgy. That's Britain 2011, you're welcome to it!"

[græskar]

Would be great to get somebody to translate that!

It means of course "Knowing me, knowing you", but it's not grammatically correct.

_{(sorry, don't know if you're asking seriously or if I'm making a tit of myself :p)}