Author Topic: Why don't Americans have proper names?  (Read 14461 times)

pigamus

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Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #30 on: January 27, 2017, 09:38:36 AM »
I was watching the skiing the other day and there was an American woman called "Breezy", which I thought was a ruddy stupid name.

That sounds like part of a nickname you give to people who are very pleased with themselves. 'Well well well, if it isn't Breezy McSugartits!'

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #31 on: January 27, 2017, 09:40:55 AM »
Hey we're fine ones to talk - may I remind you about:




















BEAN BEANLAND
« Last Edit: January 27, 2017, 10:04:08 AM by poo »

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #32 on: January 27, 2017, 09:47:03 AM »
CHANNING

spamwangler

  • fay bentos
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #33 on: January 27, 2017, 09:50:30 AM »
Chod Romnick - inventor of spray on cheese

spamwangler

  • fay bentos
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2017, 09:51:45 AM »
Rod Chomnick - Disgraced Spam-oil salesman

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #35 on: January 27, 2017, 09:54:26 AM »
There's a basketball player called Latrell Sprewell which makes me think of going to the toilet.

Black Americans and Africans are great for giving their children names that are nouns, adjectives and verbs. Success, Hope, Happiness, Joy, Charity, Vanity, Usefulness, Financial Security, Shrewd Career Move, Independence Weekend Holiday and Overlooked Spinster are among my favourites.

mook

  • what a bulb
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #36 on: January 27, 2017, 09:58:17 AM »
bloyd herpenschmiddt - inventor of the cheezwizz corndog fountain carousel.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #37 on: January 27, 2017, 09:58:46 AM »
Chad Beaver.
Tex.
Hank Eepanky.
Kip Shop.
Lex Booger.
Bill Bumper.

mook

  • what a bulb
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #38 on: January 27, 2017, 09:59:11 AM »
bris lopper - foreskin magnate.

Cuellar

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Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #40 on: January 27, 2017, 10:30:56 AM »
Spike Milligan was British. Spike Lee American, its not such an unusual name.


Spike Milligan's real name is Terence though.

hamfist

  • Furry Asscandy
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #41 on: January 27, 2017, 12:43:27 PM »
African-American names have a certain style to them too, and a while ago I was curious enough to try and find out the origins of some of the names they choose - Wiki sums it up here :

Quote
By the 1970s and 1980s it had become common within African-American culture to invent new names. Many of the invented names took elements from popular existing names. Prefixes such as La/Le, Da/De, Ra/Re, or Ja/Je and suffixes such as -ique/iqua, -isha, and -aun/-awn are common, as well as inventive spellings for common names. The book Baby Names Now: From Classic to Cool—The Very Last Word on First Names places the origins of "La" names in African-American culture in New Orleans.[9]

The name LaKeisha is typically considered American in origin, but has elements drawn from both French and African roots. Other names—for example LaTanisha, DeShawn, JaMarcus, DeAndre, and Shaniqua—were created in the same way. Punctuation marks are seen more often within African-American names than other American names, such as the names Mo'nique and D'Andre.[1][10]

Which leads to my favourite African-American name, LaQueefa.

buttgammon

  • Leave him Tony, he's not worth it
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #42 on: January 27, 2017, 01:00:59 PM »
Todd Wrangler
Chop Backsenburglar
Chip Boomer
Chad Scrotum

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #43 on: January 27, 2017, 01:05:59 PM »
LaQueefa.

Is that a woman from Los Angeles who fanny farts?

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #44 on: January 27, 2017, 01:10:03 PM »
Quote
Spike Milligan's real name is Terence though.

And Spike Lee is really Shelton.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #45 on: January 27, 2017, 01:26:41 PM »
I've been saying it for ages.  We're giving kids whore's names 'Ruby', 'Roxy', 'Fifi' and animals kids names - prime example there's a (American) woman who goes to the park we go to who has a dog called 'Christopher' and a son called 'Chubber' and it's not even a nickname - I've seen it on a form!

The phrase 'I like that - it's unusual' (said in a Manc accent) is the worst thing ever to happen to human existence, and I'm including free mobile minutes and the aforementioned 'spray on cheese' in that.  Just because you've called your child an 'unusual' (fucking ludicrous) name that doesn't make it 'nice'.  How can you have an 'unusual' name when everyone's got an 'unusual' name?  Fuck off.

My son was the only 'Adam' in his primary school.  There were two 'Spikes'. 

My sister-in-law and her family all have names that have been drawn from a Scrabble bag with half the letters missing.  They're all called things like 'Marcia', 'Darcy', 'Marie', 'Tonicha' and 'Cheneya' lovely kids but Jesus Christ - where...?  I don't know.

There's a girl in here with a Dyrl she gets all hoity when people can't pronounce it - IT'S DARREL! She huffs - look love that's you're fucking fault and you've saddled that kid with having to spell it's name every-fucking-time-it's-asked.

Not only that but these stupid names have ruined it for us norms (especially Normans).  The number of times I get asked 'Is that with an 'I'?' No of course it's fucking not - it's a 'Y' - why would it be with an 'I'?

I'd massacre these bastards.

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #46 on: January 27, 2017, 01:30:31 PM »
It's every boy being called "Jayden" these days that I can't stand. That is a name that culture forgot.

Also, "London". That's not a name, it's a cheap day return.

Brundle-Fly

  • *Jooolie Andreeeews!! Thhhrrrrp!!!!*
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #47 on: January 27, 2017, 01:54:24 PM »
The name W.G. Snuffy Walden used to irk me when it came up in the credits during the nineties.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #48 on: January 27, 2017, 01:56:48 PM »
CHANNING

Surname of that actress from Grease, whose first name was Stockard-the only time  in history I have ever heard of that Christian name.

Brundle-Fly

  • *Jooolie Andreeeews!! Thhhrrrrp!!!!*
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #49 on: January 27, 2017, 01:59:13 PM »
A friend mentioned to me that his young son's playgroup is like if a Mississippi showboat at the turn of the last century had a creche. His friends are called Eli, Isiah, Thomas, Flynn, Huckleberry and Ichabod.

Ok , I made up the last two friends.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #50 on: January 27, 2017, 02:04:50 PM »
When our eldest was born the nurse came around with that label thing and said 'What are planning to call him...A.D.A.M. There you go, pop that on.' Then she went to the woman across from my missues you could tell that although she'd had the name in her head for a while this was the first time she'd actually realised that at some point she was going to have to spell it.

'Err K...A..ermm Y...err...D...E....no A..N'.  There you go, even a bullshit name such as Kayden has to be twisted to have an extra 'A' in it.

Fuck you Wishaw General.

Because it was late when I left for home you had to exit through A&E.  Genuine conversation...

'Hi, Tommy - not seen you in here for a while...'
'Nah, I've not been out for a bit..not been chibbed for ages...'

How the other half live eh?  Genuine parallel universes.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #51 on: January 27, 2017, 02:05:25 PM »
I was watching the skiing the other day and there was an American woman called "Breezy", which I thought was a ruddy stupid name. Why Americans can't have good, decent names like "Nigel" and "Susan" I don't know. Silly.

Breezy is a pretty good name for a skier. As it's often done in breezy conditions. I wonder if her parents pushed her in to the profession.

NASCAR is a goldmine for stupid American names but I understand pointing this out is viewed like making fun of people on Benefits Street over here so it's best to not go there.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #52 on: January 27, 2017, 02:06:46 PM »
There's a lot of several-barrelled surnames reflecting diverse European immigration.  Thus you might get someone called John Calvin Von-Ginkel-Walstein-Murray-Duffy-Jones.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #53 on: January 27, 2017, 02:07:15 PM »
Marie

Perfectly normal name it seems to me.

Twed

  • What, prick? That's my child. My Johnson's child
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #54 on: January 27, 2017, 02:08:59 PM »
Oh Dakota. That is literally the worst name ever and the parents have to be cunts of the highest order to choose it. It just screams misplaced entitlement. And why Dakota? Are millions of American parents around the world really into the place Dakota, like it's some sort of mecca that every American is making their way towards to live the fucking dream?

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #55 on: January 27, 2017, 02:09:39 PM »
It's every boy being called "Jayden" these days that I can't stand.

The name "Jamie" annoys me inordinately.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #56 on: January 27, 2017, 02:11:26 PM »
Breezy is a pretty good name for a skier. As it's often done in breezy conditions. I wonder if her parents pushed her in to the profession.

NASCAR is a goldmine for stupid American names but I understand pointing this out is viewed like making fun of people on Benefits Street over here so it's best to not go there.

Picabo Street


Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #57 on: January 27, 2017, 02:12:07 PM »
Jayson is just horrible. Get that fucking "y" out of there! Kelso is another bad one. I worked with an American with that name. Like fingernails scraping down a blackboard every time I had to say it.

Re: Why don't Americans have proper names?
« Reply #58 on: January 27, 2017, 02:39:39 PM »
My son's friends at school include Farron  (boy) and Kai. Mind you my son's name is DeTronequelle.