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Why don't Americans have proper names?

Started by Sam, January 27, 2017, 12:04:16 AM

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pigamus

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on January 27, 2017, 07:10:30 AM
I was watching the skiing the other day and there was an American woman called "Breezy", which I thought was a ruddy stupid name.

That sounds like part of a nickname you give to people who are very pleased with themselves. 'Well well well, if it isn't Breezy McSugartits!'

poo

#31
Hey we're fine ones to talk - may I remind you about:




















BEAN BEANLAND


spamwangler

Chod Romnick - inventor of spray on cheese

spamwangler

Rod Chomnick - Disgraced Spam-oil salesman

checkoutgirl

There's a basketball player called Latrell Sprewell which makes me think of going to the toilet.

Black Americans and Africans are great for giving their children names that are nouns, adjectives and verbs. Success, Hope, Happiness, Joy, Charity, Vanity, Usefulness, Financial Security, Shrewd Career Move, Independence Weekend Holiday and Overlooked Spinster are among my favourites.

mook

bloyd herpenschmiddt - inventor of the cheezwizz corndog fountain carousel.

checkoutgirl

Chad Beaver.
Tex.
Hank Eepanky.
Kip Shop.
Lex Booger.
Bill Bumper.

mook



SteveDave

Quote from: BlodwynPig on January 27, 2017, 08:29:30 AM
Spike Milligan was British. Spike Lee American, its not such an unusual name.


Spike Milligan's real name is Terence though.

hamfist

African-American names have a certain style to them too, and a while ago I was curious enough to try and find out the origins of some of the names they choose - Wiki sums it up here :

QuoteBy the 1970s and 1980s it had become common within African-American culture to invent new names. Many of the invented names took elements from popular existing names. Prefixes such as La/Le, Da/De, Ra/Re, or Ja/Je and suffixes such as -ique/iqua, -isha, and -aun/-awn are common, as well as inventive spellings for common names. The book Baby Names Now: From Classic to Cool—The Very Last Word on First Names places the origins of "La" names in African-American culture in New Orleans.[9]

The name LaKeisha is typically considered American in origin, but has elements drawn from both French and African roots. Other names—for example LaTanisha, DeShawn, JaMarcus, DeAndre, and Shaniqua—were created in the same way. Punctuation marks are seen more often within African-American names than other American names, such as the names Mo'nique and D'Andre.[1][10]

Which leads to my favourite African-American name, LaQueefa.

buttgammon

Todd Wrangler
Chop Backsenburglar
Chip Boomer
Chad Scrotum


Black_Bart

Quote
Spike Milligan's real name is Terence though.

And Spike Lee is really Shelton.

yesitsme

I've been saying it for ages.  We're giving kids whore's names 'Ruby', 'Roxy', 'Fifi' and animals kids names - prime example there's a (American) woman who goes to the park we go to who has a dog called 'Christopher' and a son called 'Chubber' and it's not even a nickname - I've seen it on a form!

The phrase 'I like that - it's unusual' (said in a Manc accent) is the worst thing ever to happen to human existence, and I'm including free mobile minutes and the aforementioned 'spray on cheese' in that.  Just because you've called your child an 'unusual' (fucking ludicrous) name that doesn't make it 'nice'.  How can you have an 'unusual' name when everyone's got an 'unusual' name?  Fuck off.

My son was the only 'Adam' in his primary school.  There were two 'Spikes'. 

My sister-in-law and her family all have names that have been drawn from a Scrabble bag with half the letters missing.  They're all called things like 'Marcia', 'Darcy', 'Marie', 'Tonicha' and 'Cheneya' lovely kids but Jesus Christ - where...?  I don't know.

There's a girl in here with a Dyrl she gets all hoity when people can't pronounce it - IT'S DARREL! She huffs - look love that's you're fucking fault and you've saddled that kid with having to spell it's name every-fucking-time-it's-asked.

Not only that but these stupid names have ruined it for us norms (especially Normans).  The number of times I get asked 'Is that with an 'I'?' No of course it's fucking not - it's a 'Y' - why would it be with an 'I'?

I'd massacre these bastards.

Twed

It's every boy being called "Jayden" these days that I can't stand. That is a name that culture forgot.

Also, "London". That's not a name, it's a cheap day return.

Brundle-Fly

The name W.G. Snuffy Walden used to irk me when it came up in the credits during the nineties.

Quote from: ASFTSN on January 27, 2017, 09:47:03 AM
CHANNING

Surname of that actress from Grease, whose first name was Stockard-the only time  in history I have ever heard of that Christian name.

Brundle-Fly

A friend mentioned to me that his young son's playgroup is like if a Mississippi showboat at the turn of the last century had a creche. His friends are called Eli, Isiah, Thomas, Flynn, Huckleberry and Ichabod.

Ok , I made up the last two friends.

yesitsme

When our eldest was born the nurse came around with that label thing and said 'What are planning to call him...A.D.A.M. There you go, pop that on.' Then she went to the woman across from my missues you could tell that although she'd had the name in her head for a while this was the first time she'd actually realised that at some point she was going to have to spell it.

'Err K...A..ermm Y...err...D...E....no A..N'.  There you go, even a bullshit name such as Kayden has to be twisted to have an extra 'A' in it.

Fuck you Wishaw General.

Because it was late when I left for home you had to exit through A&E.  Genuine conversation...

'Hi, Tommy - not seen you in here for a while...'
'Nah, I've not been out for a bit..not been chibbed for ages...'

How the other half live eh?  Genuine parallel universes.

imitationleather

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on January 27, 2017, 07:10:30 AM
I was watching the skiing the other day and there was an American woman called "Breezy", which I thought was a ruddy stupid name. Why Americans can't have good, decent names like "Nigel" and "Susan" I don't know. Silly.

Breezy is a pretty good name for a skier. As it's often done in breezy conditions. I wonder if her parents pushed her in to the profession.

NASCAR is a goldmine for stupid American names but I understand pointing this out is viewed like making fun of people on Benefits Street over here so it's best to not go there.

There's a lot of several-barrelled surnames reflecting diverse European immigration.  Thus you might get someone called John Calvin Von-Ginkel-Walstein-Murray-Duffy-Jones.


Twed

Oh Dakota. That is literally the worst name ever and the parents have to be cunts of the highest order to choose it. It just screams misplaced entitlement. And why Dakota? Are millions of American parents around the world really into the place Dakota, like it's some sort of mecca that every American is making their way towards to live the fucking dream?

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Twed on January 27, 2017, 01:30:31 PM
It's every boy being called "Jayden" these days that I can't stand.

The name "Jamie" annoys me inordinately.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: imitationleather on January 27, 2017, 02:05:25 PM
Breezy is a pretty good name for a skier. As it's often done in breezy conditions. I wonder if her parents pushed her in to the profession.

NASCAR is a goldmine for stupid American names but I understand pointing this out is viewed like making fun of people on Benefits Street over here so it's best to not go there.

Picabo Street


Squink

Jayson is just horrible. Get that fucking "y" out of there! Kelso is another bad one. I worked with an American with that name. Like fingernails scraping down a blackboard every time I had to say it.

jobotic

My son's friends at school include Farron  (boy) and Kai. Mind you my son's name is DeTronequelle.