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March 28, 2024, 11:31:43 AM

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Why don't Americans have proper names?

Started by Sam, January 27, 2017, 12:04:16 AM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!



Cuellar


Why can't they have sensible British names like Peregrine Worsthorne, Bamber Gascoigne or Heston Blumenthal?




Dogbeard

I'm on a few FB dads groups filled with Americans and, the basic troglodyte nature of many of them aside, I am frequently struck by the terrible names they give their children. I was aware of this anyway via general cultural osmosis (I remember a funny quiz asking to answer whether each name was an American newscaster or British village), but still I am seeing so much of it now. A few recent girl ones:

Rylin
Kylin
Peyton (I'm aware this is a common one, but it's awful)

Also just read this treasure trove of appalling appellations (titled "Utah Mom Tweets All The Incredibly Bizarre Names She Found In Her Kid's Yearbook") after it popped up on my FB stream: https://www.pupperish.com/bizarre-names-utah?fbclid=IwAR2hcVA6N3G34wOD435eDnAWmvxF6fvPjU7P6O-OJjWcERDWzyCdEVda_ls



chveik


JesusAndYourBush

Awful!  With some of them you can decypher what name they were going for, but it's likely the parents were trying to be quirky rather than not being able to spell.
With nominative determinism, some of them will likely end up as strippers.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Captain Z on November 23, 2020, 04:33:47 PM
Scooter Braun

I saw him on some BBC Four documentary about the unseen people in the music industry and he seemed like such a piece of shit. I bet he gave himself that name.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteWith nominative determinism

Not to mention socio-economic determinism.

Dex Sawash

Those Utah names will be Mormons, they all have 6 kids and only 2 dozen last names in the state. They have to go weird to avoid duplicates. 

Cold Meat Platter

It's strange to think that before the McLintock Amendment in 1823 no Americans had names at all.

petril

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on November 26, 2020, 09:02:49 PM
It's strange to think that before the McLintock Amendment in 1823 no Americans had names at all.

he was a good man


touchingcloth

They don't have proper anything. I was just watching a YouTube review of some glasses, and the reviewer said he had been to the optician and got an eye test and that it "only cost seventy dollars".

WHAT. Eye tests are free, mate.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: touchingcloth on November 26, 2020, 11:17:40 PM
They don't have proper anything. I was just watching a YouTube review of some glasses, and the reviewer said he had been to the optician and got an eye test and that it "only cost seventy dollars".

WHAT. Eye tests are free, mate.

Not only free but those British opticians mate they fucking love giving you an eye test and want the whole country tested to all fuck.

They try and get me to have an eye test and I'm like FUCK OFF MATE FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Of course then the ice cream man points out I'm facing the wrong direction.

touchingcloth

There are tags on this thread.

WHAT. Tags are back?

WHAT. How do you add tags?

WHAT.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Dogbeard on November 26, 2020, 04:11:49 PM
Peyton (I'm aware this is a common one, but it's awful)
I can't be the only person who associates Peyton with over-sexed American suburbanites getting melodramatic with each other, and I've never actually seen any version of Peyton Place. I just found out that the original novel is partly about incest (censored in film and TV), which makes it even more of an awesomely bad name, like calling your son Oedipus.

petril

Quote from: Dex Sawash on November 26, 2020, 08:55:18 PM
Those Utah names will be Mormons, they all have 6 kids and only 2 dozen last names in the state. They have to go weird to avoid duplicates.

just wait until those kids get sent off on their mandatory rejection tour when they're about 21

Dogbeard

There's a poll up in one of the FB dads' groups. This fella and his missus are torn, and who wouldn't be between "Braelyn Grace" and "Brynlee Marie".

Second commenter sagely points out the "leigh" line of approach, as per his daughters Haileigh and Annaleigh. Food for thought.

steve98

3 of Karl Marx's American great great grandsons (l to r) Stretch, Skid and Marky-Mark visiting London, to seek out new Parkour challenges.


El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: touchingcloth on November 26, 2020, 11:24:50 PM
There are tags on this thread.

WHAT. Tags are back?

WHAT. How do you add tags?

WHAT.

They're from when the thread was first started in 2017, I'm guessing

Dex Sawash


Had an online acquaintance in 2000s, Eckie Prater.
No idea if Eckie is a nickname or not.

Menu

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on December 01, 2020, 05:31:02 PM
They're from when the thread was first started in 2017, I'm guessing

OFF TOPIC But does anyone know why they were got rid of? They were often quite funny. Also why hassn't the sketch function ever worked?

JesusAndYourBush

Quote from: Menu on December 07, 2020, 06:47:35 AM
OFF TOPIC But does anyone know why they were got rid of? They were often quite funny. Also why hassn't the sketch function ever worked?

I think the tags were custom made by Neil, but then the forum was reinstalled/upgraded.  It's probably a ballache to re-add them.

I've never heard of a sketch function.  Where does it mention it?

Menu

I mean 'search function'. A sketch function would be interesting though.

JesusAndYourBush

The search function is turned off because when you search, the forum builds up a massive database of words and uses a lot of server space and slows the forum down.  You can search quite effectively on Google by starting your search with inurl:cookdandbombd and following it with your search term.  If you're searching for more than one word it helps to out the phrase in quotes.

For example, paste this into a Google search...
inurl:cookdandbombd "search function"

Menu

Quote from: JesusAndYourBush on December 07, 2020, 12:35:52 PM
The search function is turned off because when you search, the forum builds up a massive database of words and uses a lot of server space and slows the forum down.  You can search quite effectively on Google by starting your search with inurl:cookdandbombd and following it with your search term.  If you're searching for more than one word it helps to out the phrase in quotes.

For example, paste this into a Google search...
inurl:cookdandbombd "search function"

Cheers for that!