Why don't Americans have proper names?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Florida Department of Law enforcement commissioner Rick Swearingen

These Americans are at it again

[beanheadmcginty]

Crocsucker

[Menu]

These Americans are at it again

I think its pronounced 'Swidjin'

[pcsjwgm]

Antony Blinken isn't a very funny name, but I like that A. Blinken sounds like Abe Lincoln.

[chveik]

Crocsucker

nice

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

German, not American but fucking hell, what a name to live up to! For his sake, I really hope he's packing.

[jobotic]

There's a poll up in one of the FB dads' groups. This fella and his missus are torn, and who wouldn't be between "Braelyn Grace" and "Brynlee Marie".

Second commenter sagely points out the "leigh" line of approach, as per his daughters Haileigh and Annaleigh. Food for thought.

Anally. Is that the gag?

[Dex Sawash]

Anally. Is that the gag?

<reviews own childrens' names more carefully>

[Ornlu]

"Braelyn Grace"

How sweet the sound.

[El Unicornio, mang]

German, not American but fucking hell, what a name to live up to! For his sake, I really hope he's packing.

Similarly

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

If they entered into a civil partnership or got married, I wonder if they'd combine their surnames. Probably wouldn't happen anyway.

[greenman]

Crocsucker

Crocsukers, small chain of mini marts in Ohio.

[touchingcloth]

They call The Great British Bake Off, The Great British Baking Show.

[Ornlu]

Colin Jost. Michael Che.

[DistressedArea]

Probably Americans can't understand something that isn't someone's property. You can't own a name, and you didn't pay for it, so it can't be important. You can be a Wall Mart trolley man or a Nurse or some other deadbeat and still have a premium name like Noah or Scarlett.

But that's someone else's name, they've stolen it.

There's minimum wage earners going around calling themselves Maddison or Riley when they should be called Thunk or Clum or Glommo. It's just not American.

[dissolute ocelot]

German, not American but fucking hell, what a name to live up to! For his sake, I really hope he's packing.

"Dick" is German for "thick" (and "hugen" is "huge"). So he's actually "Huge! Thick!"

[studpuppet]

Sorry if got mentioned further back in the thread but I've just discovered that the golfer Jack Nicklaus has a grandson-in-law called Todger Strunk.

https://twitter.com/jacknicklaus/status/1338628170694750214?s=19

[idunnosomename]

So has the whole internet it seems. But even Americans think it's a bit rum.

[Dex Sawash]

One for the mormon name-wrong sub thread.
Just stumbled on University of Virginia football coach Bronco Mendenhall's wiki page. His sons are Raeder, Breaker, and Cutter

[George White]

The film Doug is a Goddamm Millionaire featuring CBS diversity showcase star G- Su Paek, Quentin Noris (who works with a Gery Gibson - not the Norn Iron comic/US TV actor), Frightfest's Brian Villalobos and Bruce Patzke and Josh Gholson   

[Colin Sanction]

Ethan Wolff-Mann covers consumer issues, politics, technology, and personal finance for Yahoo Finance. Previously, he was a reporter at Money Magazine.

[Ornlu]

Ethan Wolff-Mann

Contemporary of Dr. Acula.

[all male israel]

[Inspector Norse]

Well if we're threatening to get split off to a separate thread named "rude footballer names, not necessarily American", I see your Assman and, um, raise you a

[Dex Sawash]

Was just checking on the Gavle Goat and saw the name of the presenter for the goat opening ceremony

Spoiler alert

Titti Schultz

[close]

[steve98]

Is there any chance Jordi Condom might ever play for Newcastle? That would be great.

[greencalx]

I suppose it's possible that Condom might once have taken a shot at goal to be caught by Seaman but that doesn't work does it?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I suppose it's possible that Condom might once have taken a shot at goal to be caught by Seaman but that doesn't work does it?

I certainly recall the collision Condom had with Kuntz.

[imitationleather]

Just saw this British guy with an American-sounding name:

[Ornlu]

Piece of shit pig cop (near-)murderer Rusten Sheskey.