What's the ultimate dickhead song?

[imitationleather]

I do hate Song 2, but mainly because of how ubiquitous it was for a very, very long time.

Huge Blur fan otherwise. It's a shame Song 2 is on one of Blur's best albums.

[purlieu]

Purlieu, I like Born Slippy. It's a fantastic track. I am sometimes a dickhead.

However, over the years, the times I've heard it played in public places, I've often observed groups of drunk ruddy-faced young men, in a scrum and moving their heads like how pigeons do, annoying everybody else in the bar by shouting "Lager, lager, lager...etc at the top of their cockney voices.

Oh yes, it's got a considerable dickhead following certainly, it just also has a considerable really-quite-good-person following. I also get a sense of enjoyment from the irony of horrible blokes drunkenly shouting "lager lager lager" when that line was written as an example of the awfulness of drunken people. So I don't think it's fair to call it the ultimate dickhead song.

[thecuriousorange]

Naive by The Kooks, holy fuck.

I know someone who bought that recently on vinyl and was so proud he put a picture of it on Instagram.

[Jockice]

Purlieu, I like Born Slippy. It's a fantastic track. I am sometimes a dickhead.

However, over the years, the times I've heard it played in public places, I've often observed groups of drunk ruddy-faced young men, in a scrum and moving their heads like how pigeons do, annoying everybody else in the bar by shouting "Lager, lager, lager...etc at the top of their cockney voices.

In the spirit of gender balance, I shall offer up the female equivalent (another fantastic track)

Lady fucking Marmalade.

Surely the female equivalent is I Will Survive? Danced to by women who have never been afraid, let alone petrified, in their entire lives.

[imitationleather]

Isn't Born Slippy about battling alcoholism? I think Underworld tried to distance themselves from it after it got taken up by the Loaded crowd.

[Brundle-Fly]

Oh yes, it's got a considerable dickhead following certainly, it just also has a considerable really-quite-good-person following. I also get a sense of enjoyment from the irony of horrible blokes drunkenly shouting "lager lager lager" when that line was written as an example of the awfulness of drunken people. So I don't think it's fair to call it the ultimate dickhead song.

Fair enough.  The whole White thing... Mega Mega misheard lyric chestnut, didn't help it I suppose? 

I must admit, the first time I ever heard the track, I thought Karl and Co were chanting the N word.

[Golden E. Pump]

Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis.

[/thread]

[Dead Soon]

I know someone who bought that recently on vinyl and was so proud he put a picture of it on Instagram.

Shouldn't that have been Myspace?

[Dr Syntax Head]

Surely the female equivalent is I Will Survive? Danced to by women who have never been afraid, let alone petrified, in their entire lives.

Or It's raining men

[Phil_A]

Defo Dancing in the Moonlight, arguably the worst song ever recorded.

"get that off" ~ me, hearing Dancing in the Moonlight

Yes. A dickhead anthem for dickheads to blare out from their dickhead cars on their way to the Annual General Meeting of the Society Of Dickheads.

However, there is one true and indisputable answer to the this question.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ABNEjPxWEg

Scouting For Girls? More like SHOUTED BY DICKHEADS.

[Dr Syntax Head]

Yes. A dickhead anthem for dickheads to blare out from their dickhead cars on their way to the Annual General Meeting of the Society Of Dickheads.

However, there is one true and indisputable answer to the this question.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ABNEjPxWEg

Scouting For Girls? More like SHOUTED BY DICKHEADS.

No way i'm clicking that but it's that she's luvverlly song isn't it. A song that makes you crave deafness

[Jockice]

However, there is one true and indisputable answer to the this question.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ABNEjPxWEg

Scouting For Girls? More like SHOUTED BY DICKHEADS.

Yes, but it amuses me greatly because a former workmate who used to have quite good taste in music (Orange Juice, Mary Chain, James) had their first album bought for him by his girlfriend. I sneered and he came out with the defence that it had: "some good tunes.'' Yeah, I can just imagine Edwyn, Jim Reid or Tim Booth singing them....

[leighhart]

Crazytown Butterfly

[Benevolent Despot]

Continuing to correct the gender imbalance:

All the Single Ladies.

[purlieu]

Isn't Born Slippy about battling alcoholism?

Indeed, that's the irony with the lager line: that whole last verse is actually really bleak ("your mum squatting pissed down a tube hole on Tottenham Court Road"), the repetition of lager a horrible chant to the worse excesses of cheap drinking - and yet it's so often chanted by drunk people in praise of the drink.

Fair enough.  The whole White thing... Mega Mega misheard lyric chestnut, didn't help it I suppose? 

I must admit, the first time I ever heard the track, I thought Karl and Co were chanting the N word.

I've come across quite a few people who thought this, and I never, ever heard it myself.

[Mr Banlon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA  This has got to be in the running.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The alcoholics from Born Slippy should have moved onto a nice fuller flavoured drink like bitter.

[Enzo]

Mr Jones by the Counting Crows.

the staple of any set from the prick who brings an acoustic guitar to a party.

[purlieu]

The alcoholics from Born Slippy should have moved onto a nice fuller flavoured drink like bitter.

Karl Hyde has been tee-total for 19 years. He likes porridge, though.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

It's Angels by Robbie Williams.

"Ah but to be fair it's a good tune though it's just been overplayed by cunts." NO IT'S FUCKING NOT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN SHIT

[jobotic]

All of these (except Single Ladies). Depends which kind of dickhead though. When I went to indie clubs as a young 'un....

Daisy Chainsaw - Love Your Money

Levellers - One Way of Life (if that's what it's called)

Step On

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Good call for Chelsea Dagger. Aural effluent.

Those cunts who sang about All My Life Something in America. Dickhead song. I hope they get detained in quantanamo and forced to listen to their music for eternity.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

It's Angels by Robbie Williams.

"Ah but to be fair it's a good tune though it's just been overplayed by cunts." NO IT'S FUCKING NOT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN SHIT

I don't think I've heard it referenced or sung by a real life Prole since 2008.

It is a well written, well structured pop ballad alright. If it didn't have a bellowing delinquent on vocals, and less of a 90s soft rock production the underlying qualities would be more obvious to some. Not you obviously.

Feel was an attempt to go back there, but the structure and melody doesn't resolve in the same satisfying or dramatic manner.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

It is a well written, well structured pop ballad alright. If it didn't have a bellowing delinquent on vocals, and less of a 90s soft rock production the underlying qualities would be more obvious to some. Not you obviously.

I'm no formalist, I like some feeling. Platitudes sung over conventional song structures ain't my idea of underlying qualities.

[thraxx]

Surely it's Tubthumping.

Mind you Boom Boom Pow was singularly fucking infuriating wank.

Or maybe it's this.  Remember when dickheads all over the country were prancing round to this fucking piece of shit advert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69MpLiYhsXw

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I'm no formalist, I like some feeling. Platitudes sung over conventional song structures ain't my idea of underlying qualities.

That may be the case, but I think platitudes sung over conventional song structures could be used to describe the majority of widely regarded pop music.

You may not like that sort of thing but some may say that leaves you in less of a position to make a valuable comment about them.

[dallasman]

"Good Friends And A Bottle Of Pills" by Pantera

I fucked your girlfriend last night.
While you snored and drooled, I fucked your love.
She called me Daddy.
And I called her baby when I smacked her ass.
I called her sugar when I ate her alive till daylight.
And I slept with her all over me,
from forehead to ribcage I dripped her ass.
Sometimes I thought you might be spying,
living out some brash fantasy, but no.
You were knocked out.
But we were all knocked out you know.
In a way

I serve too many masters.

We didn't know you'd break the bottle
that the magic came in to use those jagged shards
to cut our wrists and neck.
And you'd do it too, you're that kind of dude.
But you wouldn't know what you were doing
because I didn't,
your girlfriend could have been a burn victim,
an amputee, a dead body.
But god damn I wanted to fuck.

I'm losing what's left of my fucking mind,
I serve too many fucking masters.

(I told you. I told you motherfucker)

WHITE POWER!

[Dannyhood91]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH
YOUR SEX IS FIIIYUUUUUUR

that one

[purlieu]

I'm not sure if it quite fits the category, but anybody who genuinely likes Mambo No. 5 is a soulless anti-person who should incinerated.

[Monsieur Verdoux]

You may not like that sort of thing but some may say that leaves you in less of a position to make a valuable comment about them.

Nah, you're not pushing me into that corner. It's a piece of schlock and you know it. Defending it by claiming to appreciate the formal achievement that is conveniently hidden by its very apparent tastelessness doesn't make anyone clever.

It's not a Douglas Sirk film.