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Infantilisation

Started by touchingcloth, March 30, 2017, 11:10:24 AM

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momatt

That's fucking hilarious.  I always click on the 'read' button without reading it.  I WIN!

NatWest's banking app is pretty good though.
HSBC's is a right load of bollocks in comparison.

#31
Quote from: touchingcloth on March 30, 2017, 11:48:37 AM
one of them said that they were off on their "holi-jollies" soon


'Jim-jams' is of a similar ilk.

popcorn

Quote from: momatt on March 30, 2017, 05:13:30 PM
That's fucking hilarious.  I always click on the 'read' button without reading it.  I WIN!

NatWest's banking app is pretty good though.
HSBC's is a right load of bollocks in comparison.

I get angrier the more I look at it. "Customer advice". Them telling me I have to click the fucking box to confirm that they won an award is "Customer advice".

Dr Syntax Head

Quote from: popcorn on March 30, 2017, 05:31:44 PM
I get angrier the more I look at it. "Customer advice". Them telling me I have to click the fucking box to confirm that they won an award is "Customer advice".

The universe is becoming more self obsessed by the day

Quote from: touchingcloth on March 30, 2017, 11:48:37 AM
said that they were off on their "holi-jollies" soon, which was enough to make me attempt to sic my placid and entirely non-violent dog on the pair

"Holi-jollies' should indeed be quoted followed by "(sic!!!)"

Uncle TechTip

Quote from: popcorn on March 30, 2017, 05:04:34 PM
Recently Natwest refused to let you sign into online banking without you first acknowledging that they had won an award.

I mean fucking hell. It's like me refusing to talk to anyone who doesn't sign a piece of paper acknowledging that I am handsome first.

It could be that they want to get you using the app as it's the most secure method. I don't think they just wanted to show off.

canadagoose

Quote from: popcorn on March 30, 2017, 05:04:34 PM
Recently Natwest refused to let you sign into online banking without you first acknowledging that they had won an award.
It's because RBS are shit for cunts. Try TSB instead.[nb]I don't work for either of those companies[/nb] Having said that, TSB's mobile app is built by Lloyds Banking Group (AFAIK), even though they're separate companies, so it might rub you up the wrong way.

Jockice

Huh! Just try using a wheelchair and having a complete stranger stop and ruffle your hair as he goes past. Or having people ask your girlfriend if she's your carer and even when they're told 'no I'm his partner' continue to to try to talk to her as if she is and ask personal questions about you, while also totally ignoring anything I say. Or if you're on your own to be asked in a very concerned way if you're on your own ('isn't anyone looking after you?") and then to be spoken to VERY. SLOWLY. AND. LOUDLY like you haven't really got a quarter of a century's experience in journalism and an MA in political research. Maybe the fact I never finished my PhD makes them think I'm thick.

Don't know they're born some people. Wheelchairs are just giant prams anyway.

popcorn

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on March 30, 2017, 07:58:29 PM
It could be that they want to get you using the app as it's the most secure method. I don't think they just wanted to show off.

I write and design interfaces like this for a living. You're basically right, but you have to consider the final effect it creates, from the user's perspective. What will have happened is this:

PERSON 1: Hello, I'm a design person who's shit at design. Let's use this log-in page as a place to put important information we want our customers to read. And we'll make sure they read it with a "Confirm you've read it" checkbox, despite the abundance of evidence that this is an extremely poor way to guarantee that anyone reads anything.

PERSON 2, YEARS LATER: Hi, I'm a writing person, or something, and as it happens I'm shit at writing. What shall we make the important information this week? I know, let's advertise our app again. Hmm, how can we make the app sound good? We'll begin by stating that it won a prize.

So yes, Natwest's goal here is just to encourage you to use the app. What they don't realise is that the user's experience, at the end of this series of bad decisions, is to be forced by a giant angry red box introducing itself as "Customer advice" to check a box confirming they have read and understand that Natwest have won a prize. The effect is unbelievably patronising.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: momatt on March 30, 2017, 04:48:06 PM
I hate that cunt.  I also hate that they assume you know his fucking cunt name.

That Jackson character for 3 is an ever growing trend of personification of the corporate entity. Like Ronald McDonald or those weird people made from cloth that Lenor use. Another fairly recent trend is the use of family related terminology to describe company relationship to the consumer and corporate sponsors. So The world cup will have a "family" of corporate "friends" or something. I can't imagine anyone falling for rebranding like that. To me it's just like renaming Stalin "Best Friend Stalin" and expecting everyone to like him despite him having killed your family.

It's also reminiscent of Kim Jong Il being called "Dear Leader" and thinking the people will just accept that and think he's a really dear leader.

selsdon man

Quote from: canadagoose on March 30, 2017, 08:13:10 PM
It's because RBS are shit for cunts. Try TSB instead.[nb]I don't work for either of those companies[/nb] Having said that, TSB's mobile app is built by Lloyds Banking Group (AFAIK), even though they're separate companies, so it might rub you up the wrong way.
TSB are shits riding the Brexit mood with all their advertising about "we don't give money to dirty foreigners" and "local bank for local people", to say nothing of their totally fake pretending to be a building society or John Lewis "we call our employees partners even though they don't own the business or enjoy any of the actual benefits partners should get". They're owned by a Spanish (foreign!) banking conglomerate no different to any other corporate, capitalist villains. Plus their TV ads are modelled after pre-school programming of the 1970s.

Brundle-Fly

Probably mentioned before somewhere on Cab but that chirpy recorded announcement at Odeons raises my hackles so high the people sat behind me complain they can't see the screen.  It's like we are all sat in a massive creche rather than a cinema.

"Aaah, and now my favourite bit...  the trailers! Actually, they've been chosen especially for this film. So turn your phones off, stop talking, yes and I mean you two in the middle row, sit back and let your imagination run free and enjoy...oh and make sure you've had a wee wee or ploppy plops before the filmy-wilmy...and if you get frightened you can hold my hand, sssshhhhhh.... don't tell me you've left the packet of Percy Pigs in the car..."

phes

signs in train carriages that go something like:

Hi, my name is carriage: 2Q5tfddDDDx. I love to be clean and tidy but every now and then I might need a bit of extra TLC. If you feel I do then please call XXXXXXXXXX

Not what you need having paid a seriously grown up amount of money to travel 60 miles standing with your face pressed against a bog door


BlodwynPig

Quote from: phes on March 31, 2017, 11:05:40 AM
signs in train carriages that go something like:

Hi, my name is carriage: 2Q5tfddDDDx. I love to be clean and tidy but every now and then I might need a bit of extra TLC. If you feel I do then please call XXXXXXXXXX

Not what you need having paid a seriously grown up amount of money to travel 60 miles standing with your face pressed against a bog door

I saw a female version outside the bogs on Southern Rail :"Hi, my name is Miss Carriage..."

phes

Quote from: BlodwynPig on March 31, 2017, 11:16:24 AM
I saw a female version outside the bogs on Southern Rail :"Hi, my name is Miss Carriage *..."

*In this instance the miscarried foetus is in fact the subject of the joke and not the target. Please check Southern Rail's twitter feel for hourly advice on interpreting our jokes and generally about what you should think or feel about what we say or do. Just because you don't like our service, doesn't make it poor.

MoonDust

Quote from: Jockice on March 31, 2017, 08:56:22 AM
Huh! Just try using a wheelchair and having a complete stranger stop and ruffle your hair as he goes past. Or having people ask your girlfriend if she's your carer and even when they're told 'no I'm his partner' continue to to try to talk to her as if she is and ask personal questions about you, while also totally ignoring anything I say. Or if you're on your own to be asked in a very concerned way if you're on your own ('isn't anyone looking after you?") and then to be spoken to VERY. SLOWLY. AND. LOUDLY like you haven't really got a quarter of a century's experience in journalism and an MA in political research. Maybe the fact I never finished my PhD makes them think I'm thick.

Don't know they're born some people. Wheelchairs are just giant prams anyway.

To be fair if you go to an Indian wedding and opt on eating pizza and chips with the children, you're going to be spoken to like a child ;-)[nb]Sorry. I'm joking pf course. I promise I'll let this go at some point.[/nb]

Jockice

Quote from: MoonDust on March 31, 2017, 11:47:55 AM
To be fair if you go to an Indian wedding and opt on eating pizza and chips with the children, you're going to be spoken to like a child ;-)[nb]Sorry. I'm joking pf course. I promise I'll let this go at some point.[/nb]

Discrimination, that's all it is. Just because I have working tastebuds.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Jockice on March 31, 2017, 02:23:04 PM
Discrimination, that's all it is. Just because I have working tastebuds.

awwww, diddums

momatt

Quote from: checkoutgirl on March 31, 2017, 09:25:23 AM
That Jackson character for 3 is an ever growing trend of personification of the corporate entity. Like Ronald McDonald or those weird people made from cloth that Lenor use.

Not really a recent trend then.
Seems to work, so can't blame them.

Kelvin

This sentence appears in a BBC article, in reference to Philip Scofield:

QuoteBut the Schofe was undeterred, continuing with the Dawson's Creek theme and asking if he imagined the teen drama would still be being discussed so many years later.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39453507

touchingcloth

Quote from: Kelvin on April 01, 2017, 11:26:37 AM
This sentence appears in a BBC article, in reference to Philip Scofield:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39453507

I hate when a BBC article assumes a deep familiarity with popular culture on the part of the reader. You can be reading something not even in the entertainment section and come across phrases like "we all know that Lady Gaga loves her kebabs," and I just think, do we? What sort of a world would it be where everyone knew that kind of useless trivia? Maybe everyone else does and I'm alone in knowing not a damn thing about Lady Gaga's fast food preferences.

HappyTree

Quote from: touchingcloth on March 30, 2017, 11:48:37 AM
I was walking through the park the other day...

Are you Tony Slattery? I ask because I remember one of his "hoedowns" or whatever they call the singing bit in Whose Line. It went:

I was walking through the park the other day
When I met a man and he said "Hey!"
He said, "Hey, hey, hey-hey, hey, hey, hey!"
He was very repetitive so I shot him.

Fake edit: Oh. My memory is a bit off. As you were.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8owjAqgXdo

HappyTree

I was away from the UK for many years, and then on visiting again I watched BBC news at 6. Not only the words, but the tone of voice had gone full baby.

touchingcloth


BlodwynPig

Quote from: HappyTree on April 01, 2017, 11:47:41 AM
I was away from the UK for many years, and then on visiting again I watched BBC news at 6. Not only the words, but the tone of voice had gone full baby.

Who is the worst? I would say Welsh Huw. Verging on regal a decade ago, now like a chubby uncle who wears nappies at the weekend.

Quote from: HappyTree on April 01, 2017, 11:47:41 AM
I was away from the UK for many years, and then on visiting again I watched BBC news at 6. Not only the words, but the tone of voice had gone full baby.

https://youtu.be/xYk9LWIi8mo

HappyTree

It was a few years ago and I only watched it the once. The guy was George Alagiah but I imagine they're all told to present in the same dumbed-down way.

Quincey

Justifying cutting staff by saying that normal sized branches with less footfall fel "empty and intimidating" to customers http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-39457961

Personally I find a crowded bank far more intimidating.


Shoulders?-Stomach!

BBC News now have a roundup of 'happy stories'.

Yeah go on read about some monkey that got saved from a thunderstorm you fucking sheep. There's people living in boxes. Fuck off.

doppelkorn

To drag this back to that workplace pensions monster thing, he specifically does approach people in the park who own small businesses and employ people.

So...that's one thing.