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Infantilisation

Started by touchingcloth, March 30, 2017, 11:10:24 AM

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Dr Syntax Head

Infant love has the potential to be a bad word combination

Norton Canes

'Treats'

Chocolate companies, supermarkets etc. now seem obliged to refer to their confectionery products as 'treats', presumably to infer that they are not to be consumed as a regular and frequent part of one's diet. 

They hardly call them 'chocolate bars' or 'sweets' any more. Most of the time they're just 'treats'. Even if you're a grown-up an adult and you've just scooped a couple of Creme Eggs up at the checkout without any thought as to what you might have done to deserve them, you're eating 'treats'.

Dr Syntax Head

People who refer to themselves as the parents of their pets. Y'know what I mean. 'I'm gizmo the cat's daddy'. Oh just fuck off you weird cunt.

Chairman Bodog

"I'm Gizmo, the cat's daddy. Some folk call me juicy rain. My Chinese water dragon rolls the accounts whilst I fuck nuts balls deep in my favourite elk."

Big Jack McBastard

Everyone over 30 wearing Marvel/Star Wars etc shirts need to be told to stop for their own sake.

Dr Syntax Head

Quote from: Big Jack McBastard on April 06, 2017, 01:20:20 AM
Everyone over 15 watching Marvel/Star Wars etc need to be told to stop for their own sake.

Fixed

Edit. Who the fuck am I to judge. I love Mad Max. I've even failed as a snobby cunt


Dr Syntax Head

Quote from: armful on April 06, 2017, 02:23:40 AM
Adulting dear god


https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/caseygueren/im-an-adult-i-changed-a-brita-filter-once

Man these are everywhere aren't they. Fucking hell these articles make me want to chew glass until I bleed to death

Barry Admin

Like, I just totally don't even

Barry Admin

Like, totally so many people just sound SO TOTALLY LIKE a valley girl now, you know? [nb]Or a "basic bitch", to use a more up-to-date reference than an old Frank Zappa song.[/nb]

And, like, a lot of them are totally paid to write words, like for a living, and stuff. So it's like totally contrived and everything and stuff and I just can't even

Dr Syntax Head

Quote from: Barry Admin on April 06, 2017, 02:35:26 AM
Like, totally so many people just sound SO TOTALLY LIKE a valley girl now, you know? [nb]Or a "basic bitch", to use a more up-to-date reference than an old Frank Zappa song.[/nb]

And, like, a lot of them are totally paid to write words, like for a living, and stuff. So it's like totally contrived and everything and stuff and I just can't even

So gross. I mean. Gag me with a spoon

Fucken love that song

Dr Syntax Head

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201701/5-sure-ways-ruin-relationship?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

For those of us not grown up enough to deal with everyday relationships.

I love this site, it's based on peer reviewed scientific research but my god it really shows how the majority of the human race has not developed past toddler entitled infant stage.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: Jockice on March 31, 2017, 08:56:22 AM
Huh! Just try using a wheelchair and having a complete stranger stop and ruffle your hair as he goes past. Or having people ask your girlfriend if she's your carer and even when they're told 'no I'm his partner' continue to to try to talk to her as if she is and ask personal questions about you, while also totally ignoring anything I say. Or if you're on your own to be asked in a very concerned way if you're on your own ('isn't anyone looking after you?") and then to be spoken to VERY. SLOWLY. AND. LOUDLY like you haven't really got a quarter of a century's experience in journalism and an MA in political research. Maybe the fact I never finished my PhD makes them think I'm thick.

Do you take sugar?

Johnny Caramel

#103
1. Why the fuck are you using Three as a mobile client?
2. Why the fuck are you using Facebook?
3. Why the fuck would you be following 'The Cabinet Office' on Twitter?
4. Why the fuck would you keep your money in a bank?
5. Why the fuck would you pay £150 a year to watch TV?
6. Why the fuck would you watch TV?

If you think that you have a functioning brain but are capable of answering any of those questions with a straight face, please refer to this thread.

PS - It's called psychological neoteny.

Neoteny in humans is the slowing/delaying of psychological or physiological development... and it works.

In evolutionary developmental biology, heterochrony is defined as a developmental change in the timing or rate of events, leading to changes in size and shape. There are two main components, namely (i) the onset and offset of a particular process, and (ii) the rate at which the process operates. A developmental process in one species can only be described as heterochronic in relation to the same process in another species, considered the basal or ancestral state, which operates with different onset and offset times, and at different rates. The concept was introduced by Ernst Haeckel in 1875

... the hypothesis that higher education causes psychological neoteny, but is intended as a first look at some illustrative data to check that it is broadly consistent with the predications of the theory – which it is.

To the reader - Do your own homework I've got better things to do than hold your hand you mad as fuck, license paying, newspaper reading, tv advert watching, simple minded gink.

Lo and behold, Jonny Cameltoe's crawled back out again.

Quincey

From a BBC Three story on French scientists who are paying 16,000 Euros to people willing to take part in a 60 day lying in bed study

QuoteIdeal candidates will be non-smokers aged 20-45 with no allergies and a maximum body mass index of 27. That might count you out, Mr Couch Potato.

Linked in the "3 things we love today" section of the BBC website.


touchingcloth

"Buzz Feed Staff." Let that one sink in.

Feed them all with bees immediately.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Phoenix Lazarus on April 06, 2017, 07:32:50 AM
Lo and behold, Jonny Cameltoe's crawled back out again.

Leave him alone. What he's saying has substance.

Anagram of a Shit Name

Quote from: BlodwynPig on April 06, 2017, 09:18:45 AM
Leave him alone. What he's saying has substance.

Welcome back

Paul Calf

What the fuck is a mobile client?

Jobey

Social media cunts that start sentences with 'so' or end them with 'go!'

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Quincey on April 06, 2017, 08:52:40 AM
From a BBC Three story on French scientists who are paying 16,000 Euros to people willing to take part in a 60 day lying in bed study

Linked in the "3 things we love today" section of the BBC website.

Imagine a hoary old Beeb journalist being instructed by the new young "BBC lifestyle consultant" to adopt "fresh, modern grammar and vocabulary to get our branded messages across to the bright new things across the Country"

"5 things we learned from the Birmingham terror attacks"

1. Dayglo is the new black
2. It's better to live in Wolverhampton than you may suspect
3. Muslims cannot be trusted
4. It's never too old to come out of retirement (Black Sabbath Concert for the Victims)
5. The Government is always right

Chairman Bodog

Quote from: Jobey on April 06, 2017, 09:39:41 AM
Social media cunts that start sentences with 'so' or end them with 'go!'

So that's a no go!?

momatt

Quote from: Big Jack McBastard on April 06, 2017, 01:20:20 AM
Everyone over 30 wearing Marvel/Star Wars etc shirts need to be told to stop for their own sake.
Fuck you.
I won't do what you tell me.
Motherfucker.

asids

Quote from: Barry Admin on April 06, 2017, 02:35:26 AM
Like, totally so many people just sound SO TOTALLY LIKE a valley girl now, you know? [nb]Or a "basic bitch", to use a more up-to-date reference than an old Frank Zappa song.[/nb]

And, like, a lot of them are totally paid to write words, like for a living, and stuff. So it's like totally contrived and everything and stuff and I just can't even

My pet peeve is when they say "x is a thing", such as "So, racism is a thing now?". Fuck off. What does that even mean? Calling something "a thing" means nothing as everything is a "thing" (clue's in the second part of the word everything). I mean I suppose it's supposed to indicate that something is accepted or popular or that it actually exists but calling it "a thing" is just totally fucking stupid.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Jobey on April 06, 2017, 09:39:41 AM
Social media cunts that start sentences with 'so' or end them with 'go!'

Similar to Cerys's idea about how every work of literature can be improved by changing the second sentence to "and then the murders began," I think that every work can be made vastly more shit by changing the first word to "so."

QuoteSo, I wandered lonely as a cloud.

QuoteSo, to be or not to be, that is the question.

QuoteSo, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

And SO on and SO on. Go!


BlodwynPig

Quote from: asids on April 06, 2017, 10:05:25 AM
My pet peeve is when they say "x is a thing", such as "So, racism is a thing now?". Fuck off. What does that even mean? Calling something "a thing" means nothing as everything is a "thing" (clue's in the second part of the word everything). I mean I suppose it's supposed to indicate that something is accepted or popular or that it actually exists but calling it "a thing" is just totally fucking stupid.

and lo it came to pass...just received this email

QuoteHi All,

We're making Friday nights a thing again in Geosciences!
.....

P.S. If this becomes a semi-regular Friday thing, which it totally should, we should also have the occasional nights out at non-drinking places if there are fun places like that in Newcastle. Suggestions?

momatt

There's another sub-set of these expressions.
"that whole x thing".

'I love that whole wanking thing.'
'Oh, you mean, wanking?'
'Yeah, that whole thing.  Love it.'

touchingcloth

I hate when people start a sentence midway through, and then end it before it's finished. "That awkward moment when your trousers fall down in front of your boss." What? What about that awkward moment? Is it too much to ask for you to introduce and then conclude a thought rather than just blurting it out sans context? The BBC have started doing it in their online articles as well: "that moment when you receive a letter from Theresa May triggering Article 50." No, BBC. That only makes sense on the off chance that Donald Tusk happens to be reading your drivel for babies and, besides, WHAT ABOUT THAT FUCKING MOMENT?