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March 28, 2024, 09:38:37 PM

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Infantilisation

Started by touchingcloth, March 30, 2017, 11:10:24 AM

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touchingcloth

Quote from: Norton Canes on February 22, 2019, 09:42:16 AM
To be fair a lot of them are probably being bought by twelve year olds

I used to use Skips packet at that age, which is better because a) it's cheaper and b) you've had some Skips to provide you with energy. It does tend to irritate the old Eye of Whorus, though.

idunnosomename

Also prawn smell. turn it any way and it doesnt really matter

St_Eddie

#962
Quote from: Norton Canes on February 22, 2019, 09:41:27 AM
Fuck OFF (in French)

Why are the French trying to prolong the life of the sort of people who pretend to be Jedi?!  Why not just allow them to eat themselves to death?  I'd say that it would clean up the gene pool but let's face it, they're not going to be breeding anytime soon.  None the less, qu'ils mangent de la brioche, I say.  At least it'll free up a few thousand homes for the less tragically and pathetically inclined people who aren't 'children at heart'.

St_Eddie

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 23, 2019, 09:47:43 AM
I used to use Skips packet at that age, which is better because a) it's cheaper and b) you've had some Skips to provide you with energy.

I sincerely hope that the crisps were consumed pre-coitus and not as a pick-me-up.

touchingcloth

Quote from: idunnosomename on February 23, 2019, 10:53:34 AM
Also prawn smell. turn it any way and it doesnt really matter

Makes blow jobs taste mint mate has them gaggin for it lol

touchingcloth

Quote from: St_Eddie on February 23, 2019, 11:28:55 AM
I sincerely hope that the crisps were consumed pre-coitus and not as a pick-me-up.

Half and half. Munch on some of them to give you that sweet sweet pre-fuck sustenance, then tip the rest out onto the duvet to enjoy sharing afterwards.

St_Eddie

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 23, 2019, 11:47:08 AM
Makes blow jobs taste mint mate has them gaggin for it lol

Well, it certainly has them gaggin.

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 23, 2019, 11:50:12 AM
Half and half. Munch on some of them to give you that sweet sweet pre-fuck sustenance, then tip the rest out onto the duvet to enjoy sharing afterwards.

The wet patch would have to very deliberately be aimed away from the Skips, lest you get a saltier crisp than you were bargaining for.

touchingcloth

Quote from: St_Eddie on February 23, 2019, 11:50:40 AM
Well, it certainly has them gaggin.

The wet patch would have to very deliberately be aimed away from the Skips, lest you get a saltier crisp than you were bargaining for.

The missus likes to take her share and put them back in the bag with the jism and get them all coated. Salt and shake? Prawn and cum and shake, more like!!!

touchingcloth

By the way, we're adults now so we only do the Skips packet thing if we want to revisit the experience of being 12 again. We usually take the normal adult approach and rinse the cum out of her fanny with Tizer.

kalowski

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 23, 2019, 11:47:08 AM
Makes blow jobs taste mint mate has them gaggin for it lol
Nothing beats a monster munch cock ring.

St_Eddie

Quote from: kalowski on February 23, 2019, 12:18:27 PM
Nothing beats a monster munch cock ring.

Sadly, size dictates that I have to use a Hula Hoop.

ToneLa

I'm a Ringos kid, and not just for the scent

Blumf

Quote from: ToneLa on February 23, 2019, 01:51:15 PM
I'm a Ringos kid, and not just for the scent

Not even the best potato starch snack in the family fun pack

ToneLa

Of course they're all sour cream and onion when...

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 23, 2019, 11:58:34 AM
By the way, we're adults now so we only do the Skips packet thing if we want to revisit the experience of being 12 again. We usually take the normal adult approach and rinse the cum out of her fanny with Tizer.

We just pop a few mentos up there and pour in some diet coke. Deep clean innit.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 23, 2019, 03:37:36 PM
We just pop a few mentos up there and pour in some diet coke. Deep clean innit.

We tried the Mentos method, but my partner's vagina is aggressively acidic so they dissolved before we could get the cap off the coke. Also they are American sweets and importing them is not cost effective.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 23, 2019, 03:37:36 PM
We just pop a few mentos up there and pour in some diet coke. Deep clean innit.

* Dex Sawash goes off to pornhub

Brundle-Fly

Designer knitwear for dogs.£45 this cuntery will set you back


Sebastian Cobb

QuoteHi Sebastian,

We've received your electricity meter reading. Thanks so much.

Another reading in about 3 months would be ideal to keep things shipshape.

Have a lovely day,
Team Bulb

Lick my bulb more like, overfamiliar cunts.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on February 24, 2019, 08:23:50 PM
Designer knitwear for dogs.£45 this cuntery will set you back



Worth every penny. Would.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on February 24, 2019, 09:22:41 PM
Lick my bulb more like, overfamiliar cunts.

QuoteThanks for your electricity reading

Hi Cloth,

We've received your electricity meter reading. Thanks so much.

Another reading in about 3 months would be ideal to keep things shipshape.

Have a lovely day,
Team Bulb

They just copied and pasted one or the other of our emails if not both! Lazy cunts, I hope Richard Herring chokes on the £50 credit he got from them via me.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 24, 2019, 09:40:16 PM
They just copied and pasted one or the other of our emails if not both! Lazy cunts, I hope Richard Herring chokes on the £50 credit he got from them via me.

Tell them to send a meter reading person round like they used to. LAZY FUCKING CUNTS. Because of my bad eyes I couldn't read my meter well, which invariably meant I got charged 1000s of pounds and then having to complain and finally someone coming round to check.

St_Eddie

Quote from: BlodwynPig on February 24, 2019, 11:03:15 PM
Because of my bad eyes I couldn't read my meter well...

Yeah, mate.  That's what they all say.

touchingcloth

Quote from: BlodwynPig on February 24, 2019, 11:03:15 PM
Tell them to send a meter reading person round like they used to. LAZY FUCKING CUNTS. Because of my bad eyes I couldn't read my meter well, which invariably meant I got charged 1000s of pounds and then having to complain and finally someone coming round to check.

Because I'm a legend and a funny bastard and an arch satirist, whenever I call to change my gas supplier I ask the incoming company when they're going to be coming round to connect their pipes and remove the old ones.

I don't understand how the thing can operate as a market at all. Privatise the buggers.

Our TV went strange yesterday and a cutesy little message popped up on screen to say "Looks like your HDMI cable might be acting up!".  Like having a dodgy connection was a deliberate toddler-style act of rebellion from a disgruntled bunch of wires.  Most strange.

flotemysost

A particularly infuriating trend I've started noticing is the term 'low key' - often spelled 'lowkey' - used as a supposedly humorous adverb to describe feelings or actions, rather than describing the more tangible things you'd normally associate the term with (say, a party).

Often paired with that other hated phenomenon of starting a sentence/statement with 'When...' , which I know has been covered elsewhere on this thread. Like, I don't know, when u lowkey forgot u made plans and spent the whole evening watching Netflix in your pyjamas instead or something equally shite.

This brief article explains far more eloquently (and without getting angry) how the original meaning is being changed: http://mentalfloss.com/article/71558/lowkey-word-thats-lowkey-snuck-our-vocabulary

For me it taps into the same level of irritation as people substituting 'Imma' for 'I'm gonna'. I'm all for creative and playful ways of saying stuff and I know language evolves all the time, but these just sound the opposite of creative to me, suburban teenagers trying to sound like Valley girls.

Edit: I don't actually mind the 'When...' thing myself, or memes in general, but for some reason I find the above phrases intensely irritating.

Sebastian Cobb

'imma' is alright imo.

But rather than infantile, more basically shit, I'm sick of the recent trend of people I agree with replying to obviously odd shit people like Jordan Peterson and their followers say with 'normal', lazy hack shit I reckon. I don't reckon these people need engaging with, just think 'lol you twat' is better.

BlodwynPig

stand can if the not when do is your find way of the out?


ToneLa

Quote from: BlodwynPig on March 01, 2019, 01:23:24 AM
stand can if the not when do is your find way of the out?

Swiftkey predictions strike again