When did you become completely sick to fucking death of Richard Osman?

[Bennett Brauer]

Sorry to disappoint, I thought it was a good 'un.

Fuck me.  What do you people want?

People laughed at you when you said you had a good Monkhouse story. They're not laughing now.

I gave him that one.

[yesitsme]

You might not like this one.

After a gig I once took a lift home from CaB's favourite Roly-Poly Funny Man.  As we discussed what kind of Italian starters we both liked the song Show Me The Way to Amarillo came on the radio.  I said 'THAT is the only song my dad knows every word to'.

Since then I've had the nagging doubt that I'm responsible for that being foisted upon the world.

Sorry.

[JoeyBananaduck]

I was in New York once, about 1980 I think it was. Maybe '79. I'd just come out of Carolines (the comedy club - is it still going?) Anyway there was this young comic who'd been on and I thought was quite good. I was staying on 53rd with a couple of mates, and he lived just down the road. We got talking about his set outside while we were waiting for a cab, he asked me where I was going, I told him. "Oh, I'm real close to there, wanna split the fare?" "Yeah, might as well eh?"

Anyway we pulled up to a red light and there was I guess a hen party crossing the street. Dressed up ridiculous and took them about a minute to get across cause they were all pissed and wearing ridiculous shoes and costumes. Cab driver starts getting pissed off, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, heaving great big sighs. "Come on, come ON!"

"God, who acts like that at a busy crosswalk?" I said. "Who are these people? Whoooo arrre these people?!"

Now I'm not saying I gave Jerry his career, but....

[Twit 2]

I put a fatwa on Dawn French.

[Namtab]

I put olives up Reece Shearsmith's bum.