Someone help me out with a decent title, please

[Cheese Arse H Christ]

From http://www.thememoryhole.org/:

On 27 January 2004, the Federal Communications Commission--as part of its new get-tough act--levied $715,00 in fines against Clear Channel Communications for allegedly indecent material that aired on four Florida radio stations, plus a $40,000 fine for alleged record-keeping violations. The material in question was aired on the wacky morning zoo-crew show of Bubba the Love Sponge.

In the excerpts below, the FCC summarizes the broadcasts. In the full document, you can read complete transcripts of each segment. It's one of the funniest government documents you'll ever see.

Highlights of "Notice of Apparent Liability for Forfeiture" Against Clear Channel, et al.

III.A.9. We turn now to an analysis of these factors as they relate to each segment, to determine whether the material that was broadcast, taken in context, is patently offensive as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium.

Segment 1 (aired July 19, 2001 between 6:30 and 8:30 a.m.): In this segment, skits in which the voices of purported cartoon characters talk about drugs and sex are inserted between advertisements for Cartoon Network's Friday night cartoons that are identified as "provocative adult cartoons to help you get your freak on." The first skit begins when Shaggy tells Scooby Doo that he needs crack cocaine but has no money to buy it. Scooby Doo responds that Shaggy could "su(bleep)ck d(bleep)ick" to pay for the drugs. In the next skit, Fat Albert, a/k/a Phat Diddy Daddy, gets killed in a drive-by shooting after bragging that Jennifer Lopez had been "s(bleep)ing Diddy Daddy's (bleep)ck the previous night. The third skit begins with the theme music from "The Jetsons" cartoon show. George Jetson then begins telling Jane that he no longer needs Viagra because he got a "Spacely Sprocket (bleep)ck ring." After George flips a switch to activate the device, sound effects indicate that the device malfunctions, and the skit ends with George calling for Jane to turn off the device. Next, Alvin the Chipmunk complains that he hasn't "been laid in almost six weeks." Another chipmunk responds that his problem is due to the "f(bleep)cking pussy music we play" and begins to sing a more "kick ass" song directing a "filthy chipmunk-whore" to "uck on my (inaudible) Chipmunk (bleep)s," "[p]ut 'em in your mouth and (bleep)uck 'em." He continues by singing "They taste like pistachios. They're warm and fuzzy. Suck my (bleep)." The song is interrupted by a final advertisement for "Cartoons with Balls."

Segment 2 (July 19, 2001, between 6:30 and 8:14 a.m.): In this segment, a male applicant for a job as an underwear model calls the model search hotline and describes his as the "perfect penis," so gorgeous that "[e]very f(bleep)ing, every -- every ounce of f(bleep)cking co(bleep) purple (inaudible) of it" "should be hanging in the f(bleep)cking Louvre," and so strong that it can lift a 25-pound weight and can split his pants like the Incredible Hulk. Such vivid descriptions of the caller's penis satisfy the first criterion of our contextual analysis. The entire segment discusses the man's penis, and graphic descriptions of it are referenced throughout the segment.

Segment 3 (November 14, 2001, between 7:00 and 8:55 a.m.): In this segment, one of the men participating in the on-air discussion is Ned, a self-described "loud masturbator." He views the act of masturbating in public as a performance and states that he looks as though he's having a "grand mal seizure" when he does it. When asked to do so by the host, Ned, with increasing drum beat rhythms as an accompaniment, reenacts masturbating and reaching orgasm. Despite the use of euphemisms such as "wax[ing] your carrot" when referring to masturbation, and "sparky" when referring to a penis, the sexual references in the segment are unmistakable and sufficiently explicit to satisfy the first criteria of our contextual analysis.

Segment 4 (November 19, 2001, between 8:00 and 9:00 a.m.): In this segment, three males interview a female caller about her sexual exploits with "Spider," another man. They discuss the length of Spider's penis, the length of time their sexual encounter lasted, and the sexual techniques they used. After the caller indicated that she had given Spider oral sex, one host responded that he hoped Spider had not given her oral sex because heavier women, like her, have "some cheese down there." The hosts then began ridiculing the caller about her size and asked "Are you like a Ball Park Plank -- Frank, you p[l]ump when we bang ya?" The conversation between the hosts and the caller was sufficiently explicit and graphic to convey unmistakably the sexual meaning of the euphemisms they used and to satisfy the first criterion of our contextual analysis. The participants talked at length about sexual and excretory activities and organs. It was apparent that the purpose of the call was to discuss the sexual organs and activities of the caller and Spider.

Segment 5 (November 26, 2001, between 7:00 and 9:00 a.m.): In this segment, a male host and two male cohorts interview or talk with two female studio guests who are participants in a contest to win breast implant surgery. The host takes pictures of the women and directs and describes their poses, e.g., directing one to let him "get a little more ass," in the picture and, later, to pose so that he can take a "front panty shot." A discussion of oral sex begins when the host tells Hillary, one of the women, that long fingernails like hers "feel so good on my boys," and that his genital area is shaved. In response, Hillary states, "That's good. No -- no hairs in the teeth and stuff." She then discusses her preference for giving, rather than getting, oral sex and declares herself to be a "big oral queen" who could "go a half-hour solid," before her "cheeks would hurt." She discusses her sexual escapades with two men, her inability to reach orgasm and her frequent masturbation. During the ensuing discussion the host encourages Hillary to masturbate on air while he watches and gives a "play by play." To encourage her to cooperate, he tells her that masturbating on air would increase her chances of winning breast implants and, when she continues to refuse, he proposes that he or the other female guest give her manual sex during the broadcast.

Segment 6 (November 27, 2001, between 7:30 and 9:00 a.m.): In this segment, a male host and a co-host interview two female studio guests who are participants in the "Twelve Boobs of Christmas" contest to win breast implant surgery. The segment begins with the host taking pictures of the contestants' "boobs" in order to "facilitate you on some new boobies, baby." He then begins asking about their sexual activities and is impressed that one of the women, when giving "oral sex," does not "recycle," or "waste a drop."

Segment 7 (December 27, 2001, between 8:00 and 9:00 a.m.): In this segment, Bubba and two male co-hosts discuss the abnormally large size of his "balls," while a singer and chorus sing about his testicles in explicit and graphic detail. The euphemism, "balls," is a common one, generally known to mean testicles, a sexual organ. Descriptions, such as those stating that Bubba's "balls," which are the size of "cantaloupes" or "coconuts," are "firm and meaty" with "ingrown hairs," are sufficiently graphic to meet the first contextual criteria.

Full doc includes transcript  

http://hraunfoss.fcc.gov/edocs_public/attachmatch/FCC-04-17A1.doc

[Cheese Arse H Christ]

Bumped back up with a better title, so read it this time, you ingrates

[Pythov]

That transcript reads like a BAD chat forum.

I am not surprised that (if this is a real show),  it garnered the attention it did.

I would have no problem with that transmission, but I know that quite a few people would.

Cheers for the story and link.

[Hairy Chin]

I think 'Baron' would be a good title.

Or 'Earl'.