Author Topic: Gruesome Trevor.  (Read 15516 times)

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #210 on: September 19, 2019, 12:35:01 PM »
Trevor finds an unflushed turd in the bogs at work; moments later, the stampede begins, leaving behind only a smiling, triumphant Trevor. Straight into the lunchbox with this beauty!

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #211 on: September 19, 2019, 12:45:38 PM »
Trevor goes Freegan, mainly as a justification for dumpster-diving behind the abortion clinic.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #212 on: September 19, 2019, 01:02:39 PM »
Trevor and his girlfriend Naive Nora are on a date at the cinema.

"Aww, I really wanted some nuts," Nora complains. They've sold out, and she hates popcorn ever since Trevor started blowing his nose into it whenever she got some.

When they sit down, though, Trevor produces a tinfoil wrap of peanuts. "Oh my god, where did you get these?" gushes Nora. "Wait - they're not from a bin are they?"

"Absolutely not!" shouts Trevor.

"Or found on the floor - honestly, what's wrong with them? Do you know where they've been?"

"Darling, I know exactly where they've been. They're not found, or robbed from a stranger or anything weird like that." Freshly reassured, Nora takes one and chomps down. Hmm, interesting flavour. Softer than normal.

"I know exactly where they've been because I've been picking em out of my shite for the past week."

Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #213 on: September 19, 2019, 03:36:01 PM »
What a treat! After a careful series of bribes, Trevor gets to spend an hour licking clean a mortuary slab.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #214 on: September 19, 2019, 05:59:55 PM »
"If there's grass on the pitch let's play!" decrees Trev's mate Creepy Carlos down pub. They're discussing their personal mottos for dating. "What's your saying, Trevs?"

Trevor explains: "If there's no green foam, I'm going straight home."

"I use a snooker one myself. I need to sink the pink!" says Quotidian Quentin. "The pink ball is my cock and the pocket is her vagina."

"Down the brown," says Trevor, suddenly inspired and reaching into his wank bank for various memories he can turn into billiards-based epithets. "Say hello to the yellow."

"Haha they're quite good mate-"

"Knock back the black. Green is serene. Poo if it's blue, shite if she's white."

"if Jimmy White's not sat depressed in a chair, don't bother going there"

Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #215 on: September 20, 2019, 06:56:49 AM »
The rock hard corned beef isn't going down easy, ""last year's kidney brine will do the trick", splutters Trevor.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #216 on: September 20, 2019, 09:42:43 AM »
Our Trevor notices a young mother sweetly nursing her adorable little baba on the bus.

Aww she's nodded off

Trevs is right fucking in there for a suck

Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #217 on: September 20, 2019, 09:53:38 AM »
Luckily Trev had an icing pipe in his sack, the urinal cake will be the perfect palate cleanser.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #218 on: October 30, 2019, 12:18:06 PM »
Trevor finds a streak of shit on the porcelain in the shitter and tongues it right off, curling up every last fleck, before coughing up his lunch all over the floor, sitting there coated in his own sick and with shit around his mouth, he starts to jerk off, but first pisses with his hardon, the liquid arcing gracefully into his maw. When spent, his muck pooling on his belly with the other substances, he pops out of consciousness for a few minutes before lapping up whatever mush he can.

Then he makes his way back to his seat on the Virgin train to Edinburgh and proceeds to continue his small talk with the lass sat in window seat. "Ever jumped off a shed onto a skull, love?"

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #219 on: October 31, 2019, 02:38:14 AM »
GrueTrev dresses up as a giant turd for Halloween. Costume's made out of actual dog shit.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #220 on: October 31, 2019, 12:11:39 PM »
Grevs eats a Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodle at work. Eeeeww!

With his lad out, by the by.

Also he is a surgeon and in surgery!

Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #221 on: October 31, 2019, 09:07:03 PM »
'Trick or Treat!' Trevor answers the door to find two teenagers, caked in white panstick and fake joke shop blood. 'Amateurs' he mutters, jamming two knitting needles into his eyes and pulling them out out like lollipops, with a satisfying, squelching plop. He grins eyelessly at the now-screaming teens as the blood gushes from his sockets and makes crimson rivers down his neck.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #222 on: November 01, 2019, 01:06:16 AM »
"Hello, Reception? I've left a nice big turd on the bed. Happy Thanksgiving."

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #223 on: November 02, 2019, 08:51:33 AM »
Boarding the bus, Trevor requests a single to town, and rifles through his pockets for payment... ahhh, here you go!

Trevs deposits one big fat slug in the driver's chubby mitt. The driver freaks out and yelps, flinging slug backwards towards the disabled seats.

"Oh sorry", coos Trev. "It's gone up to two now hasn't it?"

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #224 on: November 02, 2019, 11:17:53 AM »
"Excuse me desk woman, what times my checkout?"

"Let me just check... twelve PM, sir."

"Great, plenty of time, may as well go back up to the room for an hour's wank!"

"Er, accommodation are doing the rounds at the moment sir, but if there are cleaners in your room you can ask them to wait until you check out."

"Nah, it'll give me something to wank to!"

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #225 on: November 03, 2019, 02:26:20 AM »
GT consumes a decade-old finger of Fudge with glee.

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #226 on: November 04, 2019, 03:26:16 AM »
GT becomes a member of the Twitterati for about ten minutes and causes a stir with his confessional tweets!

gruetrev #cancelled

Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #227 on: November 04, 2019, 01:44:32 PM »
Gruesome Trevor raises a vulture chick inside a Milky Bar Easter egg, the birds remains slide down his torn throat easily, but the white chocolate is too rich for him, he splutters before drifting into a slumber.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #228 on: November 04, 2019, 04:35:17 PM »
Gruesome Trevor dines at Nando's

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #229 on: November 05, 2019, 12:04:10 AM »
Gruesome Trevor raises a vulture chick inside a Milky Bar Easter egg, the birds remains slide down his torn throat easily, but the white chocolate is too rich for him, he splutters before drifting into a slumber.

Heh!

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #230 on: November 05, 2019, 08:42:40 AM »
"Anyone for my excretia? It's fresh!"

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #231 on: November 08, 2019, 01:26:36 PM »
GT does all diahorrea in a lane way.

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #232 on: November 08, 2019, 03:00:35 PM »
Trevs scrambles some foetuses for his missus, Revolting Rita, using the edge of the spatula to divide and slice it all up, adds a dash of white pepper, brown sauce, grinds up a Tracker bar into it, and a bit of mayo for funsies.

"Ew!" Rita gobs it all out onto the floor. "Did you put fuckin egg in this?"

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #233 on: November 08, 2019, 03:03:20 PM »
Trevs boots a sprog down the road, bits of skull and flesh sticking to his boots, gore splattered up and down the gravel, his hard-on immense, solid and full.

Babysitting's easy really!

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #234 on: November 08, 2019, 03:53:21 PM »
Trev befriends a dodgy fellow at the pub who is giving out home made DVDs surreptitiously.

Trev storms back the next night, furious. "That was just a load of music videos of you and a band, pal!" he fumes, handing a DVD back.
 " This is how you start a beastiality porn trading ring."

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #235 on: November 08, 2019, 04:30:25 PM »
Trevor fully commits to voting Lib Dem

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #236 on: November 08, 2019, 04:32:52 PM »
Trevor drinks his fill on a Friday night down at the sperm bank

If only to wet his whistle for Chiquito's
« Last Edit: November 08, 2019, 04:55:39 PM by NJ Uncut »

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #237 on: November 08, 2019, 04:46:22 PM »
Trevor heads down to London on his jollies, excited to finally Scrooge McDuck right into a fatberg

Glebe

  • Wobbly caper!
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #238 on: November 09, 2019, 02:22:21 AM »
Grue collects all the scraps off the floor of his local Burger King. "Now for a feast! Sloo!"

NJ Uncut

  • Good luck anyone on Universal Credit x
Re: Gruesome Trevor.
« Reply #239 on: November 11, 2019, 03:11:14 PM »
Trevs sees some jakey baglady in an alley, she looks like the bird from Gimme Gimme Gimme only superfoul, her frizzy hair wild, her eyes madcap.

He closes in and looks in her rolling, glassy eyes. Her breath is absolutely rank - it smells like a rotting bin in an abortion clinic. He inhales, with his eyes shut - mmm, heaven.

Trevs leans in and kisses her, and she hesitates, then goes for it, pushing her fetid tongue down his throat.

He grabs at her, her folds of flab on her exposed belly, her voluminous arse, her thighs.... looking for purchase..

He slips his hand inside her piss-stained leggings, she moans anticipating her dirty green clunge getting cleared out. Trevs' hand slides around to her arsehole...

Ah HA! Trevs locates a dried ball of shite, and quick as a flash withdraws his hand, flicking the ball into his salivating mouth like an especially delicious Malteaser, all in one motion, a graceful arc. Mmm, the crunch!