Topic: Gruesome Trevor.

[Glebe]

Gruesome Trevor subjects the Chinese family across the way to a lecture in British ethics, before going home and doing a massive dump and examining and smelling it for half an hour.

[Glebe]

"By jove, by junket, by dumpling dee, if ye spy a darkie, bad luck to thee!"

Grue's daughter regrets letting him speak at her wedding.

[Bazooka]

Gruesome Trevor throws up into his dungaree pocket after eating one too many squid and gooseberry sandwiches.

[Glebe]

Bove trots out the old cliche "Not gay just curious" when he is caught wanking over pictures of Dale Winton printed off the Internet. For the local Women's Institute, coffee morning will never feel quite the same again.

[JoeyBananaduck]

Bove trots out the old cliche "Not gay just curious" when he is caught wanking over pictures of Dale Winton printed off the Internet. For the local Women's Institute, coffee morning will never feel quite the same again.

And what does Gruesome Trevor do about it?

[Smeraldina Rima]

Trevor sometimes transforms into Bovine Tom:

"By Jenkins, by Bradbury, I'll not have no darkies!" Easy Tom, not all the checkout staff can be white!

It's a bit like Twin Peaks. Trevor puts a mouse's heart inside a dissected Action Man and the mouse slowly dies. Giving up on his plan to see Action Man experience love he throws the piece of plastic in the stinky number 2s bin and adds the mouse heart to his meatballs.

[Glebe]

And what does Gruesome Trevor do about it?

He complains to the relevant authorities about the lack of privacy at the local community centre. "It was a quiet afternoon, and no one was around!", he storms. "The caretaker should have locked the doors on his way out, by cracky! Would have certainly prevented a load of moaning woman from just swanning in and disturbing my solitary pleasure-fest!"

[Glebe]

GrueTrev pushes various small vegetables into his neighbour's toilet door keyhole, in order to stop him getting out.

[Glebe]

Trevor sometimes transforms into Bovine Tom

He certainly does, Smeraldina, and by ironic coincidence, Tom sometimes finds that he's "gorn all gruesome!"

[Bazooka]

Gruesome Trevor is peckish at 3 am after getting in from a local lynching. He decides to cook a 7 bird roast, a Robin being the center piece, but he's run out of stuffing. No bread in the house, so he empties his parents urn and mixes Mum and Pa's ashes in with some corned beef and vinegar. The Moore Hen is not fatty enough, throws the whole thing in the bin.

[Glebe]

Trevor gets his father's old hunting rifle out of the wardrobe and goes out onto heath and shoots a noisy youth in the head. He just shoots him, point blank, without a second thought.

[Smeraldina Rima]

Trevor opens an undercover child torture facility beneath the floorboards of Grue's Vegan Greengrocers. To keep the five-o off the trail, Trevor buys a few satsumas and lettuces from Morrisons and resells them at near face value, the lettuce cheaper because he uses the leaves to wipe bogies, the satsumas more expensive to make up for the lettuce loss leader.

[Glebe]

Trev posts dog excretia to some non-whites who live round the crescent.

[Glebe]

GT pushes a midget under Mrs. Figsworth's lawnmower.

[Glebe]

GT names and shames a local foreigner, by distributing Photostat copies of  a passion letter he writes describing said non-Englander as "smelly, awful and degenerate." He celebrates his small victory in the small community of Plumnuts with a vigorous knob-wash, finishing with a satisfying dump which lingers on the palette for literally hours.

[Smeraldina Rima]

Having run out of Parmesan, Gruesome Trevor grates himself.

[Glebe]

Gruesome moulds a life-size model of himself out of found dog-shits.

[Smeraldina Rima]

Gruesome Trevor hangs around the Whirling Waltzers as the fair comes to town and eventually he offers to take over for a while so the spinner can have a fag and a candy floss. He takes a leaf out of the book of the man on his break but also intentionally skims himself on the cars as he dances around the curved rotating floor completely dazzled by the combination of energy drinks he'd taken. The spinner comes back from his break and Trevor goes to lie down underneath the Orbiter to see if it will land on him.

[Glebe]

Trevor concocts a cocktail of his own design, using paraffin, meths and a prize selection of good, British beefs.

[Glebe]

"By UKIP, b'Stormfront, b'BNP, I say nay lad, we shall not have the foreign likes of ye here!" declares Grue, whilst shitting and wanking in a costal area.

[Glebe]

Gruesome likes to rummage in the bins behind the local Aldi of a Friday's eve. Never know what gruesome morsels one might find to add to the pot!

[Sebastian Cobb]

Gruesome Trevor gets a lifetime ban from the aquatics department of the garden centre for tickling the carp.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Gruesome Trevor awakes blearily late on a Saturday morning, having consumed 10 pints of Guinness in a darkened corner of the Poacher and Pissflap followed by a bhuna from the takeaway across the road. He looks over to the small cage on his nightstand, the Canary lies dead in the bottom of it.

"thought so" he says.

[Bazooka]

Gruesome Trevor terrorizes an old childhood nemesis and his family who have moved into the area by wearing a costume made of salmon skin, figs,glow sticks and pigs trotters and scuttling around in the garden screaming a blood curdling scream.

[Glebe]

"Be ye morsel, nor muggins, I'm coming for thee!" cries Grue every morn, before assailing the milkman with rabid anti-Semite nonsense.

[Smeraldina Rima]

After one too many deep penile insertions, Grue's pisses are now two second splashes, liquid jobbies.

[Glebe]

On the bus one afternoon, Gruesome lectures an old Filipino woman about the value of good British ethics. He then diarrheas himself all over the shop, and people laugh at his harsh, angry face.

[Glebe]

"By Branson, by jove; by brisket, by Bronson; by tinker, by gypsy, by gum; I'll not have my country ruined by the overuse of toilet paper and sanitary products, aye, as is, by cracky! by Norris."

[Neville Chamberlain]

Gruesome Trevor gets a job in a children's nursery but gets sacked on his first day for stapling a nappy directly onto a baby's skin.

[Ray Travez]

Gruesome Trevor uses a snorkel tube to suck his eyeball out, then he peers up his nose