Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 10:24:36 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Nathan "Still-born" Barley Prediction Thread

Started by Neil, December 08, 2004, 03:36:18 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Neil

I'm just working on an update and am trying to come up with some predictions about the show.  Thought there could be a fun thread in it actually, for those who are prepared to put their money where their mouths are and take the small risk of having to say "Whoops, I was wrong" come February.  Note, this is intended to be a fun thread, please don't clog it up with the usual shit about baggage and waiting until the show is on before making a judgement.

    [*]It will have at least one spunk joke.  Never ever accept spunk jokes from the man who used to chuck out lines like "Anyone who joins the army will get made into a chocolate egg and squashed between the buttocks of a mountain" or effortlessly toss around ideas like "Infinity Squash."

    [*]It will also feature that old 11OCS tactic of using swear-words as punch-lines.  Not in punch-lines, as punchlines.  You'll see later that this is already being done with the press release.  It will bombard us with profanities despite that being pretty much what you expect on Channel 4 anyway.  

    [*]It will pretend to be the product of furious anger, but will actually just be a series of cheap digs at safe and easy targets like Heat magazine and reality TV.  It will send up the sort of deeply unpleasant and trendy fuckers that Chris Morris works with now anyway, the sort of people whose faces would supernova if they ever heard the Gobi Jovler monologue from Blue Jam.  Black-hearted bandwagon-jumpers whose ego far outstrips their actual coke-sodden talents.

    [*]It will feature many pale retreads of old ideas and material.  Dance Chart meets the bits of TVGoHome that noone liked anyway and which have been safely forgotten about.  Only with the late Michael Alexander St. John replaced by The Boosh.  Apparently this is progress.  The likes of Alan Freeman might have been ushered off to Slippers FM, but that doesn't excuse bringing in people who are even more annoying and untalented than the bad-hair-cutted fuckers who replaced them.  Is there anything that could make the inclusion of The Boosh forgiveable?  Maybe...there's this bit right at the end of John Waters' Pink Flamingos...

    [*]It will contain at least one knowing wink to fans, possibly hidden in the end credits.  If in fact it actually has credits at the end of each show that is... given the way Morris has been vanishing up his own bum for the last few years I wouldn't be at all surprised if you had to go and view them in the bloody Barbican.

    [*]Media fuckers will jam every single comedy-related web forum on the internet with the following phrases:  "You don't like it because, essentially, you ARE Nathan Barley.  This programme is about YOU!", "GENIUS!", and "It was the satircal sitcom that HAD to be made.  That is all.  What?  No, I don't want to talk about the actual joke content."

    [*]Will Self will review the show and insist that the accompanying photo is of him watching it on video in a fit of onanistic frenzy, trousers round his ankles, with his spare thumb held high and a big shit-eating grin spread smugly all over his vaguely frightening face.[/list]

    It will be very very funny.

    There'll be more than a little childish humour (I've still never got around to that "Chris Morris is Childish: Discuss" thread).

    There'll be some made-up names in the credits.

    TotalNightmare

    it will be on telly

    it will be about 30 mins long with ad breaks

    it will have actors in it

    it will be on channel 4

    it will

    it

    cesspit_soul

    Quote from: "TotalNightmare"
    ad breaks

    Fuck off. Morris doesn't do ad breaks nowadays. They're not cutting edge.

    Kazuo Kiriyama

    It will be the cause of much heated debate on this forum.

    Neil

    Sigh. I've made a huge mistake.  There will be plenty of childish nonsense, yes.  It will be out and out childish rather than fun and playful... contrived attempts at trying to do what he used to be great at, while missing the whole point that it was funny because you got the impression he was just about getting away with it.  Which ties in to my point about it having loads of "ooh!  This is a bit offensive!" jokes which would probably only be funny if they were wrapped around an early-evening BBC1 sitcom.

    Hoogstraten'sSmilingUlcer

    Neil wrote:

    QuoteMedia fuckers will jam every single comedy-related web forum on the internet with the following phrases: "You don't like it because, essentially, you ARE Nathan Barley. This programme is about YOU!", "GENIUS!", and "It was the satircal sitcom that HAD to be made. That is all. What? No, I don't want to talk about the actual joke content."

    That's one thing that turns me off this project: the incessant jibbering of the critics, still clinging to the idea that Morris is God, and everything he produces is Holy. I bet the phrase, 'The Brass Eye Special was a tough act to follow, but Morris has succeeded with his usual brilliance' will turn up somewhere. I will also wager £5 on the words, 'Chris: The Resurrection' being used, in some order or other, by a dimwit journo. It will be interesting to see whether Brooker reviews it in his Screenburn, though he'll probably do some wacky ironic twist on it which will make us all think very hard.

    Regular John

    It will be edited in such a way that it makes The Boosh the victims of an elaborate Morris-esque prank and the whole thing will be GREAT!

    Darrell

      There will be at *least* one death in every episode, whether shown, mentioned or implied.

      The word "cunt" will appear in some form, as if it's in any way radical.

      It will be field-removed with a horrid auto-grading filter on it.

      I'll have given up with it by the end of the series.

    Morrisfan82

    There will be some kind of backing music used at some point with a Rhodes piano in it.

    Purple Tentacle

    Quote from: "Neil"... while missing the whole point that it was funny because you got the impression he was just about getting away with it.

    What IS shocking nowadays?

    I mean, I vividly remember where I was when  I heard him crack open a tortoise on Radio 1, or when Peter Baynham blew into dead Johnny Walker's neck.  (In my dad's car.)

    Would either or these instances still be shocking even on radio, because they certainly wouldn't be on television.

    What is left, what boundaries are there left?

    South Park's frequent attack on the networks that feed them (the Jew-aliens who snort coke then suck eachother's dicks) are the only recent example of true "daring" I can think of.

    Peking O

    It will receive surprisingly bad reviews, leading to several posters here grappling with the idea of having to go along with some "received wisdom". Alan Strang will quickly herd up the troops for a quick discussion at an eleventh hour emergency meeting, where a decision will be taken to like it against all odds. Darrell's attempt to usurp Strang will be met with furrowed brows, before a quick snatch-and-grab operation by a cloaked figure, leading to his disappearance from CaB. Several posters start threads querying his whereabouts. Meanwhile, I'll be declaring that it's "another typical slice of Morris genius," only to find that through some moderator trickery, the word "genius" has been replaced with the word "geniebum."

    Jemble Fred


    Godzilla Bankrolls

    ding ding ding

    http://media.guardian.co.uk/broadcast/story/0,7493,1369292,00.html

    QuoteChris Morris returns with C4 sitcom

    John Plunkett
    Wednesday December 8, 2004


    A map of Morris's fictional Housegate, where Nathan Barley resides


    It is three years since Chris Morris last scandalised certain quarters of the media with a satire on newspapers, particularly the News of the World's treatment of paedophiles.
    Now Morris, who is arguably author of some of Britain's darkest comedy, is set to hit the screens again with a satire on the style-obsessed "Hoxton" culture and the London media scene.

    The six-part Channel 4 sitcom, Nathan Barley, is set in the fictional district of Hosegate and features the titular Barley, a webmaster, guerrilla film-maker and "self-facilitating media node".

    Other characters include Dan Ashcroft, a columnist for Sugar Ape style magazine, whose editor, Johnathan Yeah?, added the "?" by deed poll, and his sister Claire Ashcroft, a film-maker who is "furious that no one will fund her hard-hitting documentary about a choir of reformed junkies".

    Barley has a "huge authentically cool record collection bought on eBay from a provider of huge authentically cool record collections, countless dolls including a suicide bomber Barbie and an mp3 jukebox featuring nothing but digitised versions of compilation tapes recorded by US college kids of the 80s."

    As well as taking aim at style magazines such as iD and now defunct the Face, Nathan Barley also pokes fun at celebrity magazine Heat, Sunday supplements such as the Mail on Sunday magazine (satirised as Weekend on Sunday and featuring an unlikely cover story on Tom Paulin), and trendy style music channels.

    Fictional Channel 7 is home to "rad chick VJ Dajve Bikinus" who presents a weekly music show "Snoopy Beats" and its commissioning editor Ivan Plapp, voted "best commissioning newcomer" in 2002.

    Nathan Barley will begin on Channel 4 in February next year, and is written by Morris and Guardian TV critic Charlie Brooker, who created the Barley character for his TVGoHome satirical website.

    It stars Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt, the Perrier-award winning pair behind the Mighty Boosh, who starred in their own series on BBC3 and BBC2, and regular Morris collaborate Kevin Eldon, who appeared in Jam and Brass Eye. It also stars Nina Sosanya, who appeared in Channel 4's Teachers, and Nicholas Burns and Ben Whishaw.

    After The Day Today, Brass Eye, Jam and his one-off News of the World-inspired special on paedophiles, Nathan Barley may be Morris's most conventional work to date.

    However, no preview tapes are available and the famously secretive Morris is keeping details of the show close to his chest. "Nathan, Dan and Claire work in the industrial conversions of Hosegate," explains the sparse press material.

    "Claire no longer listens to Dan - which is a shame since he'd be the best person to warn her about Nathan. Claire is right about Dan; Dan is right about Nathan; Nathan is just wrong. He's an absolute fucking tool.

    "Nathan is convinced he is the epitome of urban cool and therefore secretly terrified he might not be, which is why he reads Sugar Ape magazine - his bible of cool."

    The show's advance publicity also features clothing chain bumphuk, a "must browse for Harmony Korine, Chloe Sevigny, Julian Casablancas and Sally Gunnell"; gastropub Regime, where your food is chosen for you by "assessing your electrolytes on a sensor at your table" and the "beer is served in gourds"; and the Chimney Exchange bar, a "mecca for would-be trespassing renegades unable to discern that no one gives a flying fuck whether they're there or not".

    Morris received a Bafta last year for his first short film, My Wrongs 8245-8249 and 117, starring Paddy Considine. He was also nominated for a Bafta for his Brass Eye special about paedophilia, which became the second most complained about programme in the Independent Television Commission's history with 992 complaints. His last TV series, Jam, was broadcast in 2000.


    Mr Flunchy

    I predict I will enjoy it as I'm watching it, then come on here to be presented with a point by point breakdown as to why it's shit.  I will find myself agreeing with most of the points and end up going to bed with an odd hollow feeling in my chest.

    Peking O

    Actually it does look shit judging by that article. Harmony Korine, Chloe Sevigny, and Julian Casablancas are such easy targets. I don't like them either, but it just seems way too obvious to do something about them.

    butnut

    I really hope there's some brilliant plots, because nothing in that article seemed amusing to me.

    Jemble Fred

    Quote from: "Peking O"Actually it does look shit judging by that article. Harmony Korine, Chloe Sevigny, and Julian Casablancas are such easy targets. I don't like them either, but it just seems way too obvious to do something about them.

    Most people haven't even heard of them, except perhaps Sevigny.

    Which suggests that the only people to get most of the references in this will be the people who are supposedly being satirised.

    Possibly.

    alan strang

    Quote from: "Peking O"It will receive surprisingly bad reviews, leading to several posters here grappling with the idea of having to go along with some "received wisdom". Alan Strang will quickly herd up the troops for a quick discussion at an eleventh hour emergency meeting, where a decision will be taken to like it against all odds. Darrell's attempt to usurp Strang will be met with furrowed brows, before a quick snatch-and-grab operation by a cloaked figure, leading to his disappearance from CaB. Several posters start threads querying his whereabouts. Meanwhile, I'll be declaring that it's "another typical slice of Morris genius," only to find that through some moderator trickery, the word "genius" has been replaced with the word "geniebum."

    *sniff* Can you smell shit?

    Particle Man

    My prediction...

    It will be repeated on E4. Just after Bo Selecta!

    Darrell

    Quote from: "alan strang"*sniff* Can you smell shit?

    I do apologise. Erm... would you excuse me a moment...

    butnut



    The image from the article, for those not registered.

    Darrell


    Solid Snail

    Do our predictions have to be as negative as we can possibly make them?

    If so, I don't think I can be bothered.

    Peking O

    Quote from: "alan strang"*sniff* Can you smell shit?

    I have no idea what this means of course, but I'm hoping you took it in good humour.

    Particle Man

    Are we expecting Chris Morris to be in it at all? A small cameo role or something... Just wondering.

    Neil

    Quote from: "Solid Snail"Do our predictions have to be as negative as we can possibly make them?

    No, if you've got an Equity card in your back pocket then you can talk about how it'll be the funniest thing ever and generally obfuscate instead of giving any actual opinions.

    alan strang

    "It's a 'Ben Elton's Inconceivable' for Generation X!"

    G'wan, you broadsheet twat - use it! Use it!

    Quote from: "Peking O"I have no idea what this means of course, but I'm hoping you took it in good humour

    Of course, silly - good humour is a valuable commodity these days.

    MrManson

    So yeah, when's this thing on? I'm very lazy and the main page is too far for me to reach at the moment.