Meatus Extremis

[Mr Brightside]

Race of large anthropomorphic penes waddling around spunking on their naysayers.

[pancreas]

Is it second or fourth declension? It's important to know because if I meet a group, I want to know whether to refer to them as meati extremi or meatūs extremae.

[Mr Brightside]

Is it second or fourth declension? It's important to know because if I meet a group, I want to know whether to refer to them as meati extremi or meatūs extremae.

No idea what you're on about tbh

[pancreas]

Just interested in the plural. Rather than meatus extremis, should probably be meatus extremus or meatus extrema, depending on declension, i.e. gender in this case.

Is a meatus male or female? Or are there both types. If so, how do they have sex?

[Mr Brightside]

Just interested in the plural. Rather than meatus extremis, should probably be meatus extremus or meatus extrema, depending on declension, i.e. gender in this case.

Is a meatus male or female? Or are there both types. If so, how do they have sex?

The Meatus Extremis are cocks. They're all male. They mate with a race on a neighbouring planet - the Sloppus Magna Vulva.

[pancreas]

The Meatus Extremis are cocks. They're all male. They mate with a race on a neighbouring planet - the Sloppus Magna Vulva.

Right. And I suppose they just fly there, do they?

Mate.

[thraxx]

Just interested in the plural. Rather than meatus extremis, should probably be meatus extremus or meatus extrema, depending on declension, i.e. gender in this case.

Is a meatus male or female? Or are there both types. If so, how do they have sex?

We don't have time for this Pancreas, in case you hadn't heard pene people are cutting about the joint spunking on naysayers.

[Mr Brightside]

Right. And I suppose they just fly there, do they?

Mate.

No, no, no. Don't be daft, mate. Wormholes.

[pancreas]

We don't have time for this Pancreas, in case you hadn't heard pene people are cutting about the joint spunking on naysayers.

Look. If this is a serious concern, we need a measured response. There's no point pearl-clutching about being spunked on.

[Mr Brightside]

Look. If this is a serious concern, we need a measured response. There's no point pearl-clutching about being spunked on.

Pearl necklaces are exactly what we'll end up with.

But, the thing is, not everyone is up in arms. Some people, be it female pornstars or homosexuals, like being spunked on. It's a grey area, for sure.

[thraxx]

Look. If this is a serious concern, we need a measured response. There's no point pearl-clutching about being spunked on.

I'd like to hear your definition of serious.  Heysel, The Kursk, Borough Market and now this.  Carol Vorderman, Prince Charles (future King), Bobby Davro and Stan Collymore (i.e. England's finest) are all in danger of being spunked on.  We can't run the risk of them having all jizz on their hair and that. Honestly, these criminals need to be hung by the glans until they are dead.

[pancreas]

Can I move this discussion in a different direction. What language do the meati speak?

[Mr Brightside]

Can I move this discussion in a different direction. What language do the meati speak?

The closest thing we have to their language here on Earth is Latin, but their native tongue, which we believe is called Bollox Vox, deviates from Latin in many ways. Governments are looking for bourgeois volunteers who know Latin to try to fully decipher Bollox Vox.

[Sebastian Cobb]

[tag]I'm seeing them at infest[/tag]

[thraxx]

The closest thing we have to their language here on Earth is Latin, but their native tongue, which we believe is called Bollox Vox, deviates from Latin in many ways. Governments are looking for bourgeois volunteers who know Latin to try to fully decipher Bollox Vox.

I believe the film Arrival is based on the Government interpreters' experiences.

Except in real life the Meati squirt out spunk and not a mysterious inky substance.

[pancreas]

I've been thinking on the Meati further. Firstly, what is the name of their planet? And what is the planet the Sloppus live on?

I'm assuming the Sloppus at least are mammals. If so, do they give birth to some Sloppus and some Meati? In 50/50 proportions? And then the Meati will presumably live with the Sloppus for a while on their planet and at some point join the Meati through a wormhole. Do you get transgender Meati? Perhaps ambiguous Meati/Sloppus that are neither fish nor fowl. How accepting are the Meati/Sloppus of general queerness?

If there are gay Meati, do they spunk up each other's urethras, vis-à-vis sex? How different is this from spunking on naysayers?

One last question: what sort of meat does a Meatus eat, if a Meatus does eat meat?

[JoeyBananaduck]

Meatus.....extremis??

[Mr Brightside]

I've been thinking on the Meati further. Firstly, what is the name of their planet? And what is the planet the Sloppus live on?

I'm assuming the Sloppus at least are mammals. If so, do they give birth to some Sloppus and some Meati? In 50/50 proportions? And then the Meati will presumably live with the Sloppus for a while on their planet and at some point join the Meati through a wormhole. Do you get transgender Meati? Perhaps ambiguous Meati/Sloppus that are neither fish nor fowl. How accepting are the Meati/Sloppus of general queerness?

If there are gay Meati, do they spunk up each other's urethras, vis-à-vis sex? How different is this from spunking on naysayers?

One last question: what sort of meat does a Meatus eat, if a Meatus does eat meat?

Good evening, pancreas

Thanks for taking time out of your efforts to get Jeremy Corbyn into No 10 to take an interest in this issue. Now, I'm not an expert in all of this, but I'll do my best to answer using the knowledge I've gained from my contacts.

First of all, as their language is not quite Latin, the plural of Meatus is Meatuses. For Sloppus it is Sloppuses.

The solar system in which the Meatus Extremis and the Sloppus Magna Vulva live is known to us as the Scrotus Majoris system. The Meatus Extremis' planet is Glans, and the Sloppus live on Cunt.

The Sloppus give birth to Sloppuses and Meatuses in the same way human women give birth to boys and girls, roughly 50/50. The Meatuses are immediately sent through the porthole to Glans to be trained as warriors. The baby Sloppuses are kept on Cunt to sew and iron and cook and clean and all the other stuff human women are good at.

You do not get trans Meatuses because, to answer you question about how tolerant they are of gays, they don't tolerate that sort of thing at all. If a Meatus is suspected of being bent, perhaps if they are caught singing show tunes or just generally acting fabulous, they are executed post-haste. The Meatuses are certainly not allowed to spunk on each other.

They don't eat meat.

Thanks

[Shit Good Nose]

I was hoping this thread would be about kebabs and full of photos of kebabs.

Shame on you.  Shame.

[Mr Brightside]

I was hoping this thread would be about kebabs and full of photos of kebabs.

Shame on you.  Shame.

The Sloppuses look like giant kebabs.

[JoeyBananaduck]

How's your meatus
how's your meatus
how's your meatus today?

Not bad cheers
functioning well
no bloody tears
no unpleasant smell
my meatus is good
my meatus is fine
my meatus is dandy today.

How's your meatus
how's your meatus
how's your meatus today?

It's painful and sore
A right bloody fuss
It's red fucking raw
And oozing with pus
My meatus is buggered
my meatus is gaped
my meatus is awful today.

Take off your pants, and they're their to greet us
If they talked they would say "careful how you treat us"
Be gentle and kind, wash after you beat us
Nob hole, nob hole, ole'