Cricket 2017

[Harry Badger]

He was with Mark Nicholas who I assume is a pal from the Hants days. Nicholas is a tall gangly fucker and far more potatoey in the flesh than on TV.

Think they're just mates from the commentary box, Nicholas would have retired long before Warne came along.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Some pointless death of test cricket performances. India hitting 700 then winning by an innings and 300 runs, now Pakistan dominating in Dubai.

Both involving early batting dominance draining all life from the contest.

[monolith]

Australia losing 10 wickets for 60 is always a laugh though. Test was looking like a draw up until then.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Fair play to Australia for saving that

Amazing effort

[king_tubby]

Nah, fuck 'em.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hmm, thought Malinga was done. Apparently not.

Still winnable for England given Sri Lanka at the minute

[The Boston Crab]

I personally think that Malinga shouldn't be allowed to play cricket. While it's a legal action as per the laws of the game, they're poorly written and should be rewritten to exclude him and erase his career.

Likewise, Murali should be discounted for the advantage of his gammy arm or whatever it is. I know it's been much debated but it's straightforward for me. They're not cheats, but they're not playing cricket.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Love a yorker bowler though. Getting the batsman dancing around. Isn't Malinga's action legal? He keeps his arm straight.

[The Boston Crab]

That's what I'm saying, it's legal but it's not really cricket. He's playing a slightly different game, albeit very well. He should have his collarbone broke and see how far that gets him the little rat

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Argh fuck this is grim from West Indies. Golden chance to have set India at least a half decent chase.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Has Starc crocked himself again? Only 7 overs vs Siddle's 23

[monolith]

The Marsh brothers over 8 innings in Pakistan managed 44 runs between them.

Wonderful.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Suffice to say, this squad today won't be our World Cup lineup.

Seen the length of that tail? And the batsman have still batted like their brains have fallen through their arse.

[king_tubby]

Talksport commentary in not fucking awful shock.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Who is on it?

Also, pretty good cricket from England eh? Sri Lanka are pretty shite these days, but including Leach in the side as a control option and unburdening Ali to bowl how he can do has been a good choice.

Batting is still full of worries but with this advantage it'll be amazing if we manage to fuck this up.

Weirdly flatter wickets like Columbo may be where we come unstuck.

[king_tubby]

Atherton, Lloyd, Prior, Batty, Gough (who is taking the Boycott role of token Yorkshire arsehole) off the top of my head.

[king_tubby]

I definitely do not miss Swann or Vaughn.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Hmm. Might be worth it for a change. Aggers and Marks remain the best to actually listen to.

Vaughan and Swann are tiresome though the latter's petty digs at ex-players he hated are quite funny.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That was a really interesting test match. England are so volatile and you never know whether we'll be able to salvage some extra runs or get wickets at crucial points. Interesting to watch.

Sri Lanka are in a state though at the moment.

[monolith]

Dickwella though.



Dickwella.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Comparisons with Hussain with Bairstow's celebration but no-one bothering to point out that Hussain was basically wrong in the end because he wasn't good enough to bat at 3 in odis (or in odis anyway) and had simply scored a century in helpful conditions. Not sure Bairstow is good enough and didn't exactly bat well up the order when given the opportunity at home.

Not to mention the fact Bairstow was injured, not dropped, his replacement scored an amazing century and was basically undroppable and a miles better keeper

Also we end up 280-6 due to some fucking clown batting and it looks like Bairstow's injured himself in his stupid point proving/point missing century.

[monolith]

Yeah, I don't really get it. Well done on the century but from what he was saying before the match it was having the gloves taken off him that hurt. Not sure that scoring a century proves any point with regards to the gloves.

It's also a bit of a dick move really, Foakes is his team mate now and has done well since coming in to the team, but he is still just a newbie and I can't imagine that sort of celebration from Bairstow will make him feel particularly welcome seeing as it's basically about him.

Don't think Jonny is the brightest spark.

[monolith]

 "I'm happy with my start. But I've not given up my keeping - I want to make that very, very clear. It's still something I've worked hard on and something I want to do."

"I am not giving up on my keeping. I have worked hard for the last nine years. I am not going to give up after two games you miss".

Great team man we have there. Keep the runs coming please but maybe try to support someone who is clearly a better keeper than you, dickhead.

[iamcoop]

I agree broadly with the points raised but I think perhaps you're being a bit harsh on YJB...Surely the celebration was more to do with the relief of scoring a ton after being dropped than a fuck-you-all after losing the gloves? Mind you I only heard it on the radio and haven't seen it.

Speaking of radio TalkSport can fuck off now. Mark Nicholas has achieved what I thought was the impossible by being worse on the radio than he is on television. Darren Gough is the token professional Yorkshireman that unlike Boycott contributes absolutely nothing. Prior is ok but forgettable. Michael Atherton is excellent so is obviously allowed to broadcast for a maximum of about ten minutes per day to make way for Gareth Batty who has the charm and charisma of a Tupperware box. Jarrod Kimber can quite simply fuck off forever and ever.

[monolith]

I agree broadly with the points raised but I think perhaps you're being a bit harsh on YJB...Surely the celebration was more to do with the relief of scoring a ton after being dropped than a fuck-you-all after losing the gloves? Mind you I only heard it on the radio and haven't seen it.

From what he has said both before and after the match, the anger seems very much to do with the gloves. I don't know why it's such a big deal for him to wicket keep, seems an ego thing which is why it is annoying. Of the three wicket keepers we have in the team he is the third best. He's not the worst keeper we've had over the past decade or two but we have two better ones so stick to batting, Jonny.

I can just see him getting recalled to keeper and then dropping a clanger against Smith next year.

[iamcoop]

I agree that Foakes is clearly a far better keeper, I wasn't aware of the comments you'd attributed to Bairstow in your previous post but yeah, sounds pointlessly bitter really.

[gilbertharding]

I don't really know any of their names - and due to timings and the positions of DAB radios in my house I only get to listen to about 10 minutes while I'm about my morning ablutions...

Mark Nicholas I've recognised - he's the same on the radio except you don't get the benefit of seeing his shiny smug balloon head. Gough seems to be on most of the time - I know what he sounds like. There is also an Australian. Why? Why??

[gilbertharding]

I agree broadly with the points raised but I think perhaps you're being a bit harsh on YJB...Surely the celebration was more to do with the relief of scoring a ton after being dropped than a fuck-you-all after losing the gloves? Mind you I only heard it on the radio and haven't seen it.

I'm usually a bit peeved whenever I lose a pair of gloves. Oddly losing a single glove is worse.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Jarrod Kimber can quite simply fuck off forever and ever.

His Cricinfo articles are unreadable to the point where I don't know how he managed to get the job. Now you say he is unbearable in audio form too? Yeah, get to fuck.

I agree with the comments re: Foakes. I think Foakes could be in the side for a decade to come so the ginger pisshead needs to shut his trap and make runs, perhaps also stop being such a pisshead as well. Average of 37, that would barely get you the 90s England side.

If we don't need him to keep and just to bat then get used to it you moron.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Bit of a mediocre effort so far outside Bairstow's knock.

Quite alarming to read that England would go to world number one if they win the next two test series when we can't score 400.

Root is a lucky tosser, that's 8 in a row and like it says on Cricinfo, some big ones to win.