Cricket 2017

[rjd2]

Vaughan and Aggers laughing at a fat woman in the crowd - that was an utterly bizarre offensive moment.

Vaughan loves his banter.

India were competitive in this test, but ultimately they can't expect to win tests let alone series with only Kohli contributing with the bat.

[monolith]

Should have smashed them but made for good entertainment.

Rashid didn't disgrace himself, on paper he only took 3 wickets in total at the end of both innings but I was starting to get a bit nervous before that 9th wicket went down in the 2nd innings and whilst it was the last wicket and he'd already got 149, he did get Kohli as well. Didn't exactly set the test alight but wasn't the total fuck up I was expecting although there's 4 tests and a lot more overs before I'd call it a good selection.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yep, a bit-part role but he contributed to a vital partership and did a decent job in fits and starts.

However, given Curran's performance I'd be tempted to bring in Dom Bess - is he available for selection? Likewise if Stokes is missing next test, Woakes or Ali back? Or will Smith pick an extra batsman?

[rjd2]

Think Bess was dropped for his county side so clearly not setting the world on fire. I'd give Malan another test.

Dhawan, Vijay and Rahul are lucky there is only one back up top order batsman in the squad in Pujara who is in horrific form.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Such a great match - in the end it just turned into a turf war didn't it? The state of the wicket made the stuff on paper academic. Both teams fully aware they were weak and any ball coming up could potentially get them out, but trading blows back and forth.

[iamcoop]

Vaughan and Aggers laughing at a fat woman in the crowd - that was an utterly bizarre offensive moment.

Wasn't it a man in drag dressed as Pamela Anderson?

[The Boston Crab]

I'd say Rashid is good enough to bowl at the tail basically, which is something we've struggled with, so I'd keep him going. I'd probably bring back Ali as long as he's not a mental midget at the moment, only they will know best.

All the seam bowlers were absolutely superb for periods so it's great to have that rotation with each bringing something slightly different. We will and do miss the thuggery and bullishness of Stokes so it'll be interesting to see how the next one goes.

Why's he not playing? Up in court or something?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah, finally court time. Ridiculous how long it's taken.

I bet Stokes is made an example of, but not sure if the sentencing will affect his availability for the final 3 tests.

[The Boston Crab]

He seemed quite distant and subdued when interviewed on Sky straight after. He might just be knackered but he seemed not to be in PR mode, at all. I would normally like to see that but it wasn't an outpouring of emotion or anything, far from it. I suspect he must have a lot on his plate.

[monolith]

I mean he did absolutely twat the shit out of someone and is rightly in court due to it so he's probably bricking it.

[The Boston Crab]

Yep, all fair and true. I guess I'm surprised that he's anywhere near the squad and that the court stuff hasn't had more press. Can't see how he's getting off, either.

[Harry Badger]

Amazing win, albeit one that cost me ten pounds. Fitting that this should be England's 1000th test - it will go down as one of the best in the last twenty years.

Rumours are that Joe Clarke will be called up, he has apparently been training with the England batting and fielding coach during this match.

[dontrunyoullfall]

Not wanting to wish time away but I'm interested to see England's bowling attack/fortunes post Anderson/Broad.

Stokes will probably be halfway through his sentence when the time comes. Sun campaign to have him on day release to coincide with Test matches?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Sometimes I wish Root would try Stokes or someone like Curran or Woakes with the new ball rather than this inflexible seniority. Sometimes you get a feel a certain bowler is going to do the business and you could tell Stokes wasn't going away. Not all the time of course but once in a while to give the opposition side something they aren't expecting.

Everyone played their part with the ball well, which is encouraging. I didn't think Yadav and Shami were all that, comparatively.

[PowerButchi]

Has teams becoming shit at test cricket made it more exciting?

[The Boston Crab]

Bhenchod Boys

[PowerButchi]

MS DHONI MAKES FUCK IN YOUR DOG BITCH MOTHER YOU AUSTRALIAN. BCCI RULES ALL

[MiddleRabbit]

Dhawan, Vijay and Rahul are lucky there is only one back up top order batsman in the squad in Pujara who is in horrific form.

Pujara has been a total waste of space at Yorkshire for two seasons now.  Too
Right.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yorkshire batting has gone as AIDS as England recently

[gilbertharding]

I mean he did absolutely twat the shit out of someone and is rightly in court due to it so he's probably bricking it.

The charge is affray, no? I mean it's not my cup of tea, but aren't the two he 'twatted the shit out of' also in court charged with the same? I wonder how many people who aren't international cricketers get into fights in town centres and don't end up on trial nearly a year later. What a twat, obviously.

[Harry Badger]

Ollie Pope in for Malan.

[Harry Badger]

The Trial of the Century has begun. Really not looking good for Stokes if the opening remarks by the prosecution are anything to go by.

"It was not a moment of trivial unpleasantness it was a sustained episode of significant violence".

"Jurors were told #BenStokes had been angry and aggressive towards a doorman who denied him and team mate Alex Hales entry to the club despite offering him £300 to let them in"

"Bristol Crown Court heard that Earlier in the evening #BenStokes had mimicked a "flamboyant, extrovert and openly gay" couple in what a witness described as a "derogatory" manner. He also flicked a cigarette at them"

The last quote is particularly interesting as one of the mitigating factors floated was that he had been defending a gay couple from homophobic abuse.

[Utter Shit]

Yeah that's odd, my understanding was that the entire incident was him sticking up for a couple of gay guys...weird.

[Harry Badger]

Bill Oddie has weighed in:

 @BillOddie · 33s34 seconds ago 

Ben Stokes has to miss the whole Australian tour. Boy were the Aussies glad. This week he has to miss the second test against India. Indians relieved. Who fixes these dates? Coincidence? Or some bent scheduler at the Law Courts.? All over a Rumpus at Bristol.Why so long?

[monolith]

I'd be shocked if he isn't found guilty. That video says it all even without the antagonism towards this gay couple. Maximum sentence is three years for affray but for a first offence I doubt he will do any time.

Has to be guilty though, having read what affray is there is not better example than what we saw in the video.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Grim as fuck isn't it. Even the state of that nightclub.

What a piece of shit.

[dontrunyoullfall]

Stokes being represented by Gordon Cole in court. Hoping to wake up in a different timeline if things go badly?

[Harry Badger]

Alex Hales kicking someone in the head on CCTV, according to the latest reports. How come he's not in the dock too?

[iamcoop]

Looking worse and worse for Stokes. Belongs in the desolation thread really. Unless some astounding new evidence comes to light and he's acquitted and completely exonerated I'm not sure I want my cricket team associated with a moronic and homophobic thug. If he's found guilty of fracturing a mans eye socket in a homophobic attack he shouldn't play for the England cricket team again.

He of course will, as when have acts of thuggery, racism and gross misogyny ever prevented someone playing international sport for England?

Bleak.

[Harry Badger]

If he's found guilty of fracturing a mans eye socket in a homophobic attack he shouldn't play for the England cricket team again.

You're confusing the two gay blokes with the two guys Stokes poggered. It's still highly unsavoury.

There was none of this fuss when Botham chinned that copper.