Author Topic: Cricket 2017  (Read 29916 times)

iamcoop

  • Don't bring Harry
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #930 on: August 08, 2018, 03:54:22 PM »
You're confusing the two gay blokes with the two guys Stokes poggered. It's still highly unsavoury.

There was none of this fuss when Botham chinned that copper.

Ah right. I’m a bit confused then. What’s all this stuff about Stokes mocking their mannerisms on camera etc? I guess that’s not as bad but still, it’s no getting blazed in a toilet cubicle in NZ or flying a plane over a test match. Simpler times.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #931 on: August 08, 2018, 04:00:21 PM »
Ah right. I’m a bit confused then. What’s all this stuff about Stokes mocking their mannerisms on camera etc? I guess that’s not as bad but still, it’s no getting blazed in a toilet cubicle in NZ or flying a plane over a test match. Simpler times.

What I want to know is if the gay blokes will be giving evidence, because someone has to be lying about that aspect of it.

Re Gower and Morris buzzing the ground, it's a little known fact that a second plane was hired by Confessions actor Robin Askwith with the banner 'GOWER AND MORRIS ARE INNOCENT'. Didn't go down very well with Gooch and co.

iamcoop

  • Don't bring Harry
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #932 on: August 08, 2018, 04:23:10 PM »
What I want to know is if the gay blokes will be giving evidence, because someone has to be lying about that aspect of it.

Re Gower and Morris buzzing the ground, it's a little known fact that a second plane was hired by Confessions actor Robin Askwith with the banner 'GOWER AND MORRIS ARE INNOCENT'. Didn't go down very well with Gooch and co.

The guardian has shown new CTTV footage where Stokes appears to be doing a camp stance but it’s pretty subjective. I’m not particularly au fait with the law, would fracturing someone’s eye socket result in a custodial sentence these days? I guy I used to work with got done for affray in Brighton which didn’t result in any major injuries (it was essentially a scuffle) and ended up having to wear a tag and be on a curfew for a couple of months.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #933 on: August 08, 2018, 04:33:38 PM »
The guardian has shown new CTTV footage where Stokes appears to be doing a camp stance but it’s pretty subjective. I’m not particularly au fait with the law, would fracturing someone’s eye socket result in a custodial sentence these days? I guy I used to work with got done for affray in Brighton which didn’t result in any major injuries (it was essentially a scuffle) and ended up having to wear a tag and be on a curfew for a couple of months.

I am not a lawyer but it seems to me it largely depends on whether Stokes' self-defence argument is believed. The alleged homophobic behaviour will be the thing that sticks I suspect, at least in terms of his reputation. His brief seems to be doing his best to muddy the waters and create confusion during cross-examination , and the fact that the other two were armed for at least part of the incident will possibly create some doubt. If he is found guilty, I suspect we will not see him in an England shirt for some time.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #934 on: August 09, 2018, 02:16:58 PM »
Ryan Hale found not guilty of affray and has left the court. Not sure if this is good or bad for Stokes.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #935 on: August 09, 2018, 02:42:04 PM »
Be funny if he has to wear a tag

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #936 on: August 09, 2018, 03:31:18 PM »
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-45126702

End of the video is funny and damning at the same time.

“Sweet....”

*FUCK*

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #937 on: August 09, 2018, 03:56:00 PM »
Can one person be guilty of affray?

They've let one of the three people off, but surely if the second person isn't guilty either, then you're left with one who should be charged with assault and/or GBH.

Which is why I was initially curious about the charge being framed as 'affray' - because surely that's what you might call a score-draw. The crime is assault, even if it's mutual.

iamcoop

  • Don't bring Harry
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #938 on: August 10, 2018, 06:18:08 PM »
Some excellent drops this series

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #939 on: August 10, 2018, 06:31:30 PM »
Pretty much the English equivalent of a spinners wicket on the subcontinent. Just a matter of time until the next edge.

Some hilariously AIDS innings so far though.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #940 on: August 10, 2018, 07:35:06 PM »
I still think we're in a dangerous situation here batting second. We could end up with a lead of 70 which then turns into a 200 run fourth innings chase. Anyway, we hammered the cunts today - nice work.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #941 on: August 10, 2018, 10:55:48 PM »
Yeah, just reading more Stokes stuff.

It's not good. He chooses to forget everything that's inconvenient then remembers anything that helps his chances as though they were crystal clear. He maintains he wasn't drunk then admits to things that could only be true if he was.

This isn't a parliamentary select committee where you can get away with shit like that.

Stay fit, Woakes. We'll be needing you.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #942 on: August 12, 2018, 08:29:06 AM »
Thanks Woakes. Thwoakes.

The Boston Crab

  • Put your grasses on.
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #943 on: August 12, 2018, 09:37:30 AM »
Who is the Indian who screams and squawks like an imbecile at every wicket? It's a truly hateful sound and I'd be inclined to put my bat handle through his trachea. Or at least squawk after every run. I've never heard such an unmanly noise in any game of cricket. I don't mean that in a sexist or homophobic way, I mean it sounds like a screaming child.

Loving that the cricket subreddit has en masse started to turn on Kohli, or 'Koach' as he is nowadays ironically named. I think the guy is an absolute bhenchod and good to see Indian fans give him a bit after constantly banging on about him for the last few years and swamping the sub with Kohli wankatha.

Bairstow and Woakes were superb yesterday, some absolutely gorgeous crunching drives. Stokes was immense in the first Test with his bowling, pure energy and thuggery, wrestled the match out of India's hands just when they seemed to have it in the bag, but Woakes could have had a five-for in this one and he's got a very composed century under significant scoreboard pressure.

Fingers crossed we can put the buggers in for an hour or so today and run through the openers. I can't see them batting this out tomorrow but it depends how much we lose to rain.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #944 on: August 12, 2018, 10:16:20 AM »
Yeah rain is India's only hope and there will need to be a lot.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #945 on: August 12, 2018, 11:28:48 AM »
What the fuck are we doing wasting this time? I take it we don't particularly want to win this match?

The Boston Crab

  • Put your grasses on.
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #946 on: August 12, 2018, 11:31:09 AM »
This is unbelievably dumb. What are the odds it starts pissing it down when we declare?

The Boston Crab

  • Put your grasses on.
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #947 on: August 12, 2018, 11:56:48 AM »
OK, wasted hour but one down.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #948 on: August 12, 2018, 12:37:29 PM »
Should have been bowling at them for 30/40 minutes last night. Foolish - looking at the forecast there won't be too much cricket today, and there's only a day left after that to take 8 wickets. Maybe we'll do it, dunno, but why limit our chances?

Given the way the odds have been unreasonably stacked in our favour in this match:

- Won the toss in the most obvious fielding circumstances
- India forced to bat during mini sessions of disruptive weather against the new ball
- Pujara marching down the pitch to run himself out
- 30 overs in the last session in the conditions most favourable for our own bowlers
- We bat then the sun comes out
- India select only 2 frontline seamers
- Kohli decides not to use Ashwin until the 39th over
- India put into bat when it's overcast and humid again

If we don't win this game it will be the equivalent of missing an open goal. India will be mega relieved if it's still 1-0 on Tuesday and they're still well in the series.

All the more reason for us to have made them bat last night and again this morning - we could have had them 4 or 5 wickets down by now, leaving a far easier task for us tomorrow, and with no time for India to set us a total.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #949 on: August 12, 2018, 12:38:25 PM »
And they're off. Could have been five or six down with the way India are batting and the conditions like they are. Fucking mental decision to keep batting. There was literally no chance whatsoever of losing the match with the lead we had and the forecast the way it was.

The Boston Crab

  • Put your grasses on.
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #950 on: August 12, 2018, 12:55:49 PM »
I think a lead of two hundred would have been plenty. We just need the time and weather to get them out. Despite the breaks that Shoulders listed, we absolutely deserve this with both bat and ball and it'll be a shocker if we somehow can't close it out tomorrow.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #951 on: August 12, 2018, 01:00:17 PM »
I think you chaps are being too conservative; obviously it's difficult as England fans from your armchairs, you want to play it safe, but I don't see why we didn't forfeit our first innings, bowl them out again for 100 and chase down 200 by tea of yesterday - send Woakes and Curran out to open and job done. We'd be sitting here now talking about how Cook, Jennings, Pope, Root and Buttler have to go because they didn't score fifties, instead of helplessly waiting for the skies to clear.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #952 on: August 12, 2018, 02:45:17 PM »
Well, we're back on playing cricket, another wicket. Get Kohli and this could be over today.

The Boston Crab

  • Put your grasses on.
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #953 on: August 12, 2018, 03:07:06 PM »
Sounds like Koach is wrecked. I'm only listening to the radio so haven't seen his lack of movement but sounds promising for England.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #954 on: August 12, 2018, 03:11:06 PM »
He grimaced during his first run but seems ok - probably doped up on reverse back AIDS

iamcoop

  • Don't bring Harry
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #955 on: August 12, 2018, 03:39:47 PM »
Kohli gone. Should be wrapped up today if the light holds up.

iamcoop

  • Don't bring Harry
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #956 on: August 12, 2018, 03:41:22 PM »
...and another. Broad on a hattrick.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Got to be getting his head on that for me Gary
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #957 on: August 12, 2018, 04:08:02 PM »
Tough for India but there's been so little intent to score. Kohli is trying to prove he can be patient and leave it, but today they needed him to try and monster everything. Pujara was clearly going to get a good ball eventually so a wasted innings there.


The Boston Crab

  • Put your grasses on.
Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #958 on: August 12, 2018, 04:13:53 PM »
I feel a little bit depressed listening to this, actually. It's like the promise that the first Test suggested has totally dissipated. It's not competitive enough. I don't see any quality at all in this batting line-up, in these conditions, at least. I hope the pitches offer less from now on and I'd like to see us up against the spin a bit more, and to see what Rashid has got to offer. If we were playing this Test in Mumbai, I expect it would be a total reversal. Hmm. Nothing novel here but just my feeling.

Re: Cricket 2017
« Reply #959 on: August 12, 2018, 04:16:49 PM »
Pujara overseas at times makes Azhar Ali look like Warner. He probably feels annoyed to be somewhat singled out but a number 3 does have to try and score some runs now and then.

I dunno if this series for India will end up like 2011 where they were just got worse and worse bar Dravid, but I don't see how they turn it around. The bench is basically an IPL slogger wicket keeper and Nair. Oh dear.