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Football 2017/18

Started by Gurke and Hare, June 20, 2017, 10:04:59 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

DrGreggles

Levante 4, (Unbeaten) Barcelona 1 - after 50 minutes!

DrGreggles

Went for a piss and it's now 5-2!

DrGreggles


bgmnts

Did that actually happen?

DrGreggles

I think it did, but I've been drinking...

Captain Z

Let's remind ourselves of Motty's legendary commentary as he receives a Bafta:

Ohhh and it's... here's Motson... yess, it's a Bafta.

Son of Sod

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 12, 2018, 05:58:39 PM
Villa won't win this tie and it is cruel of them to suggest otherwise.

Although they won this time, I still think it's unacceptable for them lead us on like this. Footballing cliché it may be, but it really is the hope that kills you and I'm sure I'm going to keep on saying that even when we spank the PL for the next decade.

Son of Sod

Quote from: bgmnts on May 13, 2018, 04:27:34 PM
Harsh on Burnley. Clubs like Bournemouth, Burnley, Brighton and Huddersfield are tiny clubs who I think are doing really well.

Huddersfield did very well, considering they were written off as rock-bottom out-on-your-arse relegation favourites at the beginning of the season and had the most brutal run of fixtures out of the relegation hopefuls at the end of it. They're the second team of my heart, never quite surpassing the brummie losers (that goes without saying), so you can believe I was damn well pleased when they drew with Chelsea and proved Mark Lawrenson wrong. Not that I blame him too much for thinking it, and not to say that I feel vindicated now that he's gone and apologised, which I feel is unnecessary and only serves to placate the kind of dismal, little-minded twerp who cares about these things. Rather, what I'm trying to say is that we'd all prefer him working at something useful, like flogging hairspray or going on fishing trips with Robson Green. That's all I'm trying to say.

I just hope we can keep our manager a little longer. Only actual possession would possess him to go to Leicester, but I'm still apprehensive.

Norton Canes

Quote from: Jockice on May 13, 2018, 06:52:16 PM
Was it? Shit. I didn't venture beyond Sky this afternoon. And I dozed through at least half of the Celtic match anyway.  They usually have the highlights on the BBC website on Mondays anyway. I want to see them show that lot in five minutes

3m 6s

BlodwynPig


Ferris

This just in: i fucking hate fulham so obviously they will be the ones to knock Villa out of the playoffs.

bgmnts

Fucking Derby useless cunts.

Norton Canes

Sometimes David Squires resorts to cobbling together a lot of mediocre gags based on unrelated football stories from the week and his whole page is a bit disappointing.

And sometimes...

sevendaughters

yeah that's a great one from Squires. it's a hard job to do what he does (especially the Aussie one) but he's mostly successful. but that one is A+.


Ferris

Fucking hell thats said. Formative memories watching him play at Villa Park. Awful news

ollyboro

Under the circumstances it's only right and proper that Villa forfeit tonight's match.

ollyboro

Adama's going to do it tonight for Darren Campbell.

Fun fact: Adama Traore - the quickest cunt on legs- rides a scooter. A vehicle with no legs. So quite an unfair comparison.

Ferris

Quote from: ollyboro on May 15, 2018, 06:28:35 PM
Adama's going to do it tonight for Darren Campbell.

Fun fact: Adama Traore - the quickest cunt on legs- rides a scooter. A vehicle with no legs. So quite an unfair comparison.

He was the same shite player when he was at Villa. Obviously very talented, but unbelievably selfish.

Excited to watch Grealish score a worldy to send us to Wembley.

EOLAN

A choice between the white runners of Pulis or the Villa. One of those where I be cheering on both to lose.

bgmnts

It's Pulis or Bruce for me.

Pulis pips it because cymru am byth but I dont want either of them in the Premier League.

Ferris

Cheers lads.

Up the Villa

ollyboro

Steve Bruce - the complexion of a sunburnt tomato masturbating in the sun.

Captain Z

Remember the deal - whoever takes John Terry is not allowed back in the PL.

willy crossit

fuck you lot

QUE SERA SERA

Ferris

Quote from: ollyboro on May 15, 2018, 07:37:55 PM
Steve Bruce - the complexion of a sunburnt tomato masturbating in the sun.

Phwoarr what an image. That'll keep me going

Son of Sod

Never has a potato been more hated and loved.

Up the Villa!

Ferris

Quote from: Captain Z on May 15, 2018, 10:51:20 PM
Remember the deal - whoever takes John Terry is not allowed back in the PL.

I have altered the deal - pray I do not alter it further.

gabrielconroy

Oh god, this doesn't mean the return of Terry? We're going to have to endure his gurning presence on our hallowed Match of the Day and listen to pundits compliment his professionalism for an entire year?

The only way this would be tolerable is if he smashes the own goal record by scoring in every match except against Chelsea, where he scores the winner in each fixture before running the length of the pitch screaming and shitting himself.

imitationleather

#3179
August is still months away. Ample time for him to somehow meet his (hopefully extremely grizzly) end before we are faced with that horrifying prospect. The only downer is that he is nailed-on to become yet another brick in the wall of cunts that is the massive Trump-esque structure of the worst human beings to have ever lived which comprises the Sky Sports punditry team.

Sorry to any Villa fans on here, but I can't stand that team. They stunk up the top division for so long I think I was still a virgin* when they last didn't have "Finish above 17th" on the Powerpoint presentation of their aims at the start of the season. A Coventry for the 21st Century. Mix in that cunt John Terry and, man, all bets are off.

*And lads, it goes without saying that I have not been a virgin for a very long time. None of that Cereal Killer business available for virginalleather. When I was a virgin and on Brick Lane and fancied a bowl of cereal I had to go to a newsagent, buy a box of cornflakes and a pint of milk and mix it all together in a not exactly dignified manner. But hey, this was old skool Brick Lane. Before people like you lot moved in. Far worse shit than that was going on all around me. Sigh, those days are long gone now.