Author Topic: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes  (Read 4095 times)

SteveDave

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Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« on: June 23, 2017, 04:51:17 PM »
Inspired by checkoutgirl's post about the possibly mentally ill young man in a "God Is Watching You" t-shirt in the "Religious Fun" thread, I thought it'd be nice to have a thread about local "characters" who no longer seem to exist, either through death or better mental health care.

Have we done this before? Probably.

George Oscar Bluth II

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2017, 05:19:44 PM »
I was in Soho yesterday, and I saw a guy wearing a pyramid made of wire on his head as a sort of hat. He was otherwise dressed completely normally. Very odd.

grassbath

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2017, 05:25:25 PM »
I used to see the pyramid-head fellow on the train to school - he travels from my home stop, and works in Covent Garden. When asked by gangs of rowdy, inquisitive schoolkids why he had a fuckin' pyramid on his head, he politely and eloquently explained, with no embarrassment whatsover, that pyramids are considered to have special powers in ancient culture and act as a preventative measure against illness such as brain tumours.

Assuming this is the same pyramid-head fellow and there's not a cult of them taking over London.


buttgammon

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2017, 05:26:45 PM »
There's a man round here who is known as Large Coke No Ice because he often goes into the cinema and orders a large Coke with no ice. He has never been known to order anything else or ever actually go to see a film. He then spends hours wandering around the shopping centre and environs, following people and trying to look vaguely menacing (though this is offset by the fact that he normally wears shit-stained jogging bottoms).

touchingcloth

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2017, 05:28:29 PM »
Large coke no ice is what they call me round here, too, except they pronounce it more like "large cock, noice!"

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2017, 05:43:35 PM »
I used to see the pyramid-head fellow on the train to school - he travels from my home stop, and works in Covent Garden. When asked by gangs of rowdy, inquisitive schoolkids why he had a fuckin' pyramid on his head, he politely and eloquently explained, with no embarrassment whatsover, that pyramids are considered to have special powers in ancient culture and act as a preventative measure against illness such as brain tumours.

Assuming this is the same pyramid-head fellow and there's not a cult of them taking over London.

Do you live in London or Silent Hill?

grassbath

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2017, 05:49:30 PM »
Sometimes it's hard to tell.

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2017, 05:52:06 PM »

im barry bethel

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2017, 05:54:35 PM »
Type Brenda Guildford bearded into a search

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2017, 06:01:09 PM »
In the mid to late nineties there was a guy who wandered around Cambridge with a loaf of bread tied to his head. I can only find two references to him online, apparently he occasionally wore fish on his head as well but he's been missing in action a long time now.

There's also a very friendly homeless person who's often out and about near where I live, she's always polite and doesn't mind at all if you don't donate, but seemingly has no memory whatsoever. A couple of times now I've given her a couple of quid, popped in to a local shop and on the way out she's gone through her spiel again as if she'd never met me before. Doesn't seem to be drunk or any other substance either so maybe it's an unfortunate brain condition.

Happy Chinese Man - Fifty something guy who works horribly long hours in a shitty local shop that looks constantly on the edge of bankruptcy, most of the time he'll be out of stock of the things you want and yet he's always relentlessly happy. Can be pissing down with rain on the coldest day of the year and he's always jolly and friendly, he's been there for ten years now and I've never seen him not be jokey and cheery.

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2017, 06:05:59 PM »
In the 90s, I recall our town had Old George and Mr Lord, who were both local drunks.  George was small, white-haired and shouted and swore a lot, while Mr Lord was tall, dark-haired and always seemed pacific.  There was also a very tall man with a big beard who walked round talking to himself loudly.

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2017, 06:18:53 PM »
When I'm at my parents I occassionally go to the pub quiz down the road and sometimes the one particular table I try to get is already taken by this big bearded fat bloke who looks a bit like Ricky Tomlinsonhaslethimselfgo who just sits there and stares at the wall during quiz never taking part, then he manages to stir when all the sandwiches and food are brought out during the break and makes several sojourns over to the variously positioned food trays and back with quarry in hand it seems in a cautionary and adversarial ballet with a similarly very fat and competitively sedentary but shorter fat ginger haired and red-faced patron who looks like Baron Harkonnen as they take turns jousting for comestibles in an arena of carbohydrates.

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2017, 06:54:38 PM »
Guitar Wifie

There's also 'the highlander' who knocks about dressed in plaid like the highlander. He can disappear for years at a time then nonchalantly reappear like a long lost cat.


I once got chatting to him over a few pints in a beer garden, he's interesting but clearly a bit mental; he was apparently an extra in the original Judge Dredd and managed to get to Stallone and tell him he should do more Rocky stuff, so basically he's to thank for the one that came out 20 years later.

icehaven

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2017, 07:06:02 PM »
In Coventry in the 90's there used to be a guy with dreadlocks that always walked around with no top on, eating a banana, talking away to himself.

There's a very small, very old man that walks around Birmingham dressed like a total pimp, white or gold suits, dandyish hats and shoes, loads of jewellery. I'd seen him around for a while and just assumed he was a harmless old eccentric, a colourful sartorial addition to the landscape. Then one day I heard him fire the most horrifically racist tirade at a group of black teenagers. It was completely unprovoked, they were just passing by and he just launched into it, leaving them totally bewildered. A few of them told him to f-off but they could clearly see it was just the random rantings of a probably not very balanced person, and they left it at that. He hasn't seemed quite so endearing since.

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2017, 07:38:40 PM »
I used to see the pyramid-head fellow on the train to school - he travels from my home stop, and works in Covent Garden. When asked by gangs of rowdy, inquisitive schoolkids why he had a fuckin' pyramid on his head, he politely and eloquently explained, with no embarrassment whatsover, that pyramids are considered to have special powers in ancient culture and act as a preventative measure against illness such as brain tumours.

Assuming this is the same pyramid-head fellow and there's not a cult of them taking over London.

Would this be the bloke? http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/revealed-mystery-man-wears-pyramid-6796961

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2017, 07:44:30 PM »
In Coventry in the 90's there used to be a guy with dreadlocks that always walked around with no top on, eating a banana, talking away to himself.

There's a very small, very old man that walks around Birmingham dressed like a total pimp, white or gold suits, dandyish hats and shoes, loads of jewellery. I'd seen him around for a while and just assumed he was a harmless old eccentric, a colourful sartorial addition to the landscape. Then one day I heard him fire the most horrifically racist tirade at a group of black teenagers. It was completely unprovoked, they were just passing by and he just launched into it, leaving them totally bewildered. A few of them told him to f-off but they could clearly see it was just the random rantings of a probably not very balanced person, and they left it at that. He hasn't seemed quite so endearing since.

Round Bromsgrove there was old bill. An aged bloke who used to shout incomprehensibly at people or traffic, could often be seen sat on benches with a dozen alarm clocks arranged by his side. Rumor has it some lads dad knocked him out for shoving his pint off a table and putting a clock down.

He's probably dead now, mind.

Absorb the anus burn

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2017, 07:48:44 PM »
I've spoken to Pyramid-head guy..... He's really rather nice.

Serge

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2017, 07:54:33 PM »
There's a horrific man who walks around Derby city centre at around 5-6pm every night, abusing people as he goes. He's been banned from our shop for being racist towards another customer, but still tries to come through the door every night. His line as he does so is invariably, "Has it arrived yet? Birth Of The Pill. By J.R. Hartley." The 'Birth Of The Pill' seems to derive from the fact that a book of that name was published a couple of years ago and he presumably saw it in the shop. He also manages to get a reference to my weight in every night. When I've seen him in the street, he is usually being racially abusive, and seems to be quite gleeful about Brexit, remarking that those he's abusing will soon be 'sent back home'. The weird thing is, it's always at this time of night, and he doesn't come in at weekends or on bank holidays, leading us to believe that he actually has a job and he's just doing this on his way home, but we can't figure out what job he could possibly have.

Anagram of a Shit Name

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #18 on: June 23, 2017, 08:54:43 PM »
When I was in high school there was a bloke in town known locally as "Mad Howard", not too sure why he got the "mad" moniker, but I think he was considered a bit psycotic. That didn't stop us talking to him at the bus stop after school.

He went on to be convicted of kidnapping, raping and killing a young girl and as far as I know he's still locked up.

Not funny, but true.

Kishi the Bad Lampshade

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #19 on: June 23, 2017, 09:38:47 PM »
Brighton's got a toothless man who goes round in a t-shirt saying "Raw Veganism Cures Cancer". Not sure if "character" or hipster.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure if he's actually toothless, or if he just seems like the kind of guy who would be toothless.

RDRR

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #20 on: June 23, 2017, 09:40:50 PM »
American man forever touring town on foot, clutching an iPad. On a good day you'll see him on 10-15 separate occasions. Saw him go into a house once, no number on it, just the letter "P". Recently came and stood by me in a pub, ordered something, explained that he had to go and get change from the cashpoint in order to pay, walked out and didn't come back -- there's a cashpoint by the door. Reckon he might be brilliant.

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #21 on: June 23, 2017, 09:48:41 PM »
Cambridge - Disco Kenny

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #22 on: June 23, 2017, 09:50:37 PM »
Cambridge - Disco Kenny

Tell us more.

Mr Banlon

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #23 on: June 23, 2017, 09:54:17 PM »
Cambridge - Disco Kenny
Does he have a brother named Andy and live in Cherry Hinton ?

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #24 on: June 23, 2017, 09:57:07 PM »
When I was in high school there was a bloke in town known locally as "Mad Howard", not too sure why he got the "mad" moniker, but I think he was considered a bit psycotic. That didn't stop us talking to him at the bus stop after school.

He went on to be convicted of kidnapping, raping and killing a young girl and as far as I know he's still locked up.

Not funny, but true.

There was an odd bloke in my local who was a junior referee at the football who used to bring the barmaid fruit. He seemed like a bit of a dirty old man and his Saville likeness got mentioned long before Saville turned to light. Turns out he was far more like actual Saville and got sent down with a load of historical sex offences on disabled kids.

So Grim. He was 'slightly odd' but really unsettling  that he was basically walking among us.

Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #25 on: June 23, 2017, 10:12:59 PM »
Does he have a brother named Andy and live in Cherry Hinton ?

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Glebe

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2017, 08:14:34 AM »
I've spoken to Pyramid-head guy..... He's really rather nice.


Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #27 on: June 24, 2017, 08:25:04 AM »
When I was in high school there was a bloke in town known locally as "Mad Howard", not too sure why he got the "mad" moniker, but I think he was considered a bit psycotic. That didn't stop us talking to him at the bus stop after school.

He went on to be convicted of kidnapping, raping and killing a young girl and as far as I know he's still locked up.

Not funny, but true.

This one?

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/sophie-hook-murder-gerry-davies-9679720

armful

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #28 on: June 24, 2017, 09:31:46 AM »
We had a couple of these types in my area when I was growing up. One lady was called Trolley Kath. She used to scour the streets of my home town collecting stolen trolleys and returning them to  Kwik  Save. She was often seen roaming the streets pushing up to ten trolleys at a time. As a youth I once saw her dragging a Trolley out of a ditch, in hindsight I should have helped her. The Local Kwik save must have loved her and she always wore a No Frills t-shirt, probably donated by the shop.   


We also had another guy who roamed Grimsby town centre called Ozzy. He became something of a local legend for be a raging alcoholic. Apparently he had some sad family history that drove him to the drink, but that doesn’t excuse the fact I had seen him absolutely terrify young children he drunkenly screamed at them  in the town centre. When he passed away he made the   front pages of the Grimsby evening telegraph as (Local legend passes away) which  is more than I can expect from my life.

Glebe

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Re: Local "Characters"/Nutboxes
« Reply #29 on: June 24, 2017, 09:33:15 AM »