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Local "Characters"/Nutboxes

Started by SteveDave, June 23, 2017, 04:51:17 PM

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Sin Agog

Wrote a song a few months back about a curious figure from my school days.  He purportedly absolutely hated the sound of children's voices.  And yet we'd always see him doing the rounds just after school broke with his trusty ear muffs on.  I remember a friend once went up to him and started singing 'All Things Bright & Beautiful' really loudly, and the man almost doubled-up in pain.  The tabloid-warped person in me would say he probably was attracted to the tykes, but developed the child voices phobia as a way of punishing himself/preventing anything bad from happening.  But I don't know that for sure.  Could just be a genuine aversion, but then why go out at that time of day then?

Hi I saw this topic and I wished to add some local characters from around my home towns of Dorking and Leatherhead.

Frankie McCormack was a well known town drunk in Dorking.
He was routinely arrested by the local police for being drunk and disorderly.This resulted,in Frankie amassing Around two hundred arrests in his lifetime.He was Banned from every shop in Dorking ,and was barred from every pub in town.Frankie would purposely get himself arrested on christmas eve so he would have a christmas dinner in jail.

The Police would sometimes pick up Frankie and drop Him off In a country lane hoping the walk back to town would sober him up ,rather than having to deal with him at the station.Frankie's court appearances were a sight to see.Often the judge,barristers and police in attendance had to keep straight faces, while Frankie launched into one of his furious tirades against the law.

Other things Frankie was known for included:
*He once nicked the "Rooms Available" sign from outside the White Horse and put it outside the police station.
*Would routinely wander inside shops and terrorize the customers by ranting and raving.
*Running out into traffic Playing his trombone.

When Frankie Passed away in 2001 Dorking police lowered their flag to half mast as a sign of respect.


Bike Rasta: I haven't seen this guy in a while but he was a black guy with a Jamaican accent who would pedal his bike very slowly around Leatherhead
At the same time he was pedaling he would make these weird noises as he peddled,he would go"HEEE" "SHKKKI" . He stank of weed you could either hear him or smell him coming from some distance.

Simon the Tramp: He is a regular sight around dorking.He has long matted dreadlocks ,dresses all in green and has a distinctive aroma.
This aroma has led him to be called Ham n' Cheese by the locals.It is said he is loaded and very intelligent  but chooses to live in the woods in a tent.No one knows why maybe he has rejected modern life  and chooses to live free.Few people know the answer,as he is very aloof even my late uncle keith (another noted former character) tried to befriend him.but Simon rather wanted to be left alone.


Army Man: Was seen around Leatherhead town center alot.Big guy with a camouflage Poncho,he had really crazy looking eyes.
A friend told me that he was in the army but sadly was discharged due to allegedly having PTSD .The same friend worked for the local Sainsburys and told me that he was removed from the store after a customer accidently bumped into him and he tied to attack them.

If I can remember some more I will.There are quite a few around my way.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

All of those characters sound either too unpleasant or just plain too tragic to be seen in an amusing light, mate.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Harold The Ironmonger on January 02, 2019, 09:57:21 PM
Simon the Tramp: He is a regular sight around dorking.He has long matted dreadlocks ,dresses all in green and has a distinctive aroma.
This aroma has led him to be called Ham n' Cheese by the locals.It is said he is loaded and very intelligent  but chooses to live in the woods in a tent.No one knows why maybe he has rejected modern life  and chooses to live free.Few people know the answer...

I do.  It's utter bollocks.  Every town and city has one homeless guy that the local gossips decide to declare as 'rich but happy being homeless', because people are cunts.

kalowski

Quote from: BlodwynPig on December 07, 2018, 05:08:24 PM
Beetroot faced "perch pint". Frequenting all the student bars in Newcastle AND the better establishments. Became a figure if fun. Turned out he was in my mum's class at school and when confronted spoke with an eloquence and awareness that belied his demeanour and stench.

Just reminded me of a bloke I met in a Newcastle Hotel Bar. He took his coat off to show me his sweatshirt with a picture of Kevin Keegan on it. Lifted it up to show a T shirt with a picture of Kevin Keegan on it. Pulled that up to show the Kevin Keegan tattoo on his chest.

A triple Keegan.

Mr_Simnock

that sounds like a cocktail that could kill a giraffe

The Lurker

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 02, 2019, 10:08:14 PM
I do.  It's utter bollocks.  Every town and city has one homeless guy that the local gossips decide to declare as 'rich but happy being homeless', because people are cunts.

About ten or so years ago, there was a rumour that a certain homeless bloke in Middlesbrough (or certainly somewhere near there) was the son of a millionaire who ended up destroying his dad's business. To avoid telling his father about this, he got on a random aeroplane to go on a runner and ended up in Teesside. I think he was Spanish if my memory serves me right.

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 02, 2019, 10:08:14 PM
I do.  It's utter bollocks.  Every town and city has one homeless guy that the local gossips decide to declare as 'rich but happy being homeless', because people are cunts.


I don't think it's bollocks.I've got a friend of mine who comes from a wealthy family.He grew up with Simon but lost contact with him when my friend left town.My friend said he came from a wealthy background and I have seen him exit the local bank clutching a wad of cash on occasions so he must have some money.I must make a correction though, my housemate has informed me that Simon has a flat and he only camps in the woods during the summer.I find that to be comforting at least he has a roof over his head during winter.

thenoise

Camping in the summer is not much better than the winter, you get a wake up call from the sun at silly o'clock in the morning and it can get absolutely stifling hot unless you have of those silver tents which keep you cool.

Quote from: thenoise on January 02, 2019, 11:00:39 PM
Camping in the summer is not much better than the winter, you get a wake up call from the sun at silly o'clock in the morning and it can get absolutely stifling hot unless you have of those silver tents which keep you cool.


Yeah that's true Whatever his reasons for doing what he does he's not bothering anyone.I do feel sorry for him from what I understand he rejects most help. So despite what one of the previous posters said about people being cunts,there is some people who care about his welfare.Simon reminds me of a well known homeless lady from Bottley that I read about.I believe she was from a similar Wealthy background
But she wound up on the streets and would refuse any help from passers by.Very tragic how life works.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Harold The Ironmonger on January 02, 2019, 10:56:30 PM
...My friend said he came from a wealthy background and I have seen him exit the local bank clutching a wad of cash on occasions so he must have some money.

Mate.  He's quite clearly a bank robber.  Rich folk don't need to rob banks.

St_Eddie

Also, I still think it's bullshit and your mate is a bullshitter.

"My mate told me... so it must be true!"

It's called hearsay and it's how utter bollocks gets out there, into the wild (where rich folks don't sleep in tents).

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 02, 2019, 11:25:16 PM
Also, I still think it's bullshit and your mate is a bullshitter.



LOL alright then if you say so.



St_Eddie


Yussef Dent

I've got two I distinctly remember through working in separate branches of Morrisons. One in Belper, Derbyshire was a really bloody unpleasant woman called Maureen who lived near a school in the town and loathed children. She would constantly berate parents and children walking past her house to and from the school, and she also had a penchant for bursting any stray footballs that went near her house from the nearby rec. She was banned from Morrisons for coming into the cafe armed with a big marker pen, collecting all of the free magazines from the rack and go through each page looking for photos of people from ethnic minorities. She'd then scribble furiously over these people's faces with her pen, before shouting out some diatribe and leaving.

The other Morrison's character was a guy in Hillsborough Morrisons in Sheffield about 9 years ago. A big fella who would come in about an hour before closing every Saturday night to generally peruse and pick up the reduced stock that was going out of date. He'd have a big shopping trolley with him, however what was in this trolley was absolutely loads of DVDs and leaflets about almost every conspiracy theory you could possibly imagine. The DVDs, which he'd give out to you if you ended up chatting to him (I wish I still had mine!), were stuff he'd probably ripped from YouTube, with his voice over the top chipping in on his viewpoint. The leaflets were photocopied collages of newspaper clippings supplemented with his own handwritten views on the pieces. I have mates who are filmmakers and we were looking in to approaching him about documenting why he does what he does, but there's certain things in place which don't allow you to do such things if the subject is deemed to have some form of mental condition (and rightly so.). From vaccines, to chemtrails, to Elvis faking his own death... everything. He even said to a checkout lass that management at the store got all the first dibs on the reduced stuff because they were linked to the Illuminati!

St_Eddie

Quote from: Yussef Dent on January 03, 2019, 01:00:09 AM
The other Morrison's character was a guy in Hillsborough Morrisons in Sheffield about 9 years ago. A big fella who would come in about an hour before closing every Saturday night to generally peruse and pick up the reduced stock that was going out of date. He'd have a big shopping trolley with him, however what was in this trolley was absolutely loads of DVDs and leaflets about almost every conspiracy theory you could possibly imagine. The DVDs, which he'd give out to you if you ended up chatting to him (I wish I still had mine!), were stuff he'd probably ripped from YouTube, with his voice over the top chipping in on his viewpoint. The leaflets were photocopied collages of newspaper clippings supplemented with his own handwritten views on the pieces. I have mates who are filmmakers and we were looking in to approaching him about documenting why he does what he does, but there's certain things in place which don't allow you to do such things if the subject is deemed to have some form of mental condition (and rightly so.). From vaccines, to chemtrails, to Elvis faking his own death... everything. He even said to a checkout lass that management at the store got all the first dibs on the reduced stuff because they were linked to the Illuminati!

Biggytitbo's adventures in Morrison's, there.

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 03, 2019, 12:03:36 AM
LOL alright then if your mate says so.

Just like to comment on how warm and welcoming you're being to a new forum user on their first post, you absolute sweetheart you :)

St_Eddie

#137
Quote from: Misspent Boners on January 04, 2019, 03:00:27 AM
Just like to comment on how warm and welcoming you're being to a new forum user on their first post, you absolute sweetheart you :)

If people are going to perpetuate the tired old myth of the rich homeless man, which exists and is directed towards a homeless person in every single city across this Country and is rooted in ignorance and the smug self-satisfaction of excusing hurtful gossip, then I'm going to shoot that shit down.  If that person is a new user, that's irrelevant as far as I'm concerned (it's not as if I'd noticed that he/she was a new user either but whatever).

If a new user wants a warm welcome, then perhaps they should put a little more thought into their first post and not resort to spreading horseshit myths and branding people with addiction and mental health issues as "nutboxes" and homeless people as "tramps".

Replies From View

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 02, 2019, 10:08:14 PM
I do.  It's utter bollocks.  Every town and city has one homeless guy that the local gossips decide to declare as 'rich but happy being homeless', because people are cunts.

Far more likely he has autism or another condition that makes him struggle to integrate socially or culturally.  Such individuals 'choose' to isolate themselves only insofar as they find the expectations of neurotypical society unpredictable, unreliable, overstimulating and distressing.  If they are unable to care for themselves and don't appreciate that they need support (or are unsuccessful getting it or simply don't know about it), they can become homeless and despite their apparent contentment (which stems only from finding relative comfort in solitude) they are in no way "happy being homeless".

Society failing to adapt to neurodiverse needs and people making assumptions that allow them to feel alright with not caring is all pretty standard at the moment, it feels.  I wish it wasn't.

St_Eddie

Quote from: Replies From View on January 04, 2019, 11:39:56 AM
Far more likely he has autism or another condition that makes him struggle to integrate socially or culturally.  Such individuals 'choose' to isolate themselves only insofar as they find the expectations of neurotypical society unpredictable, unreliable, overstimulating and distressing.  If they are unable to care for themselves and don't appreciate that they need support (or are unsuccessful getting it or simply don't know about it), they can become homeless and despite their apparent contentment (which stems only from finding comfort in solitude) they are in no way "happy being homeless".

Society failing to adapt to neurodiverse needs and people making assumptions that allow them to feel alright with not caring is all pretty standard at the moment, it feels.  I wish it wasn't.

Spot on.  I'm sick of idiots perpetuating the myth, quite frankly.

"You know 'Trampy Bob'?  Well, he's actually rich and has a home but simply chooses not to live there because he loves being free and being at one with nature!  It's definitely true because my mate told me so and his mate told him."

Fuck. Off.

Replies From View

Quote from: kalowski on January 02, 2019, 10:08:56 PM
Just reminded me of a bloke I met in a Newcastle Hotel Bar. He took his coat off to show me his sweatshirt with a picture of Kevin Keegan on it. Lifted it up to show a T shirt with a picture of Kevin Keegan on it. Pulled that up to show the Kevin Keegan tattoo on his chest.

A triple Keegan.

Was he nicknamed "Blackpool Rock"?

Quote from: St_Eddie on January 04, 2019, 11:17:02 AM
If people are going to perpetuate the tired old myth of the rich homeless man, which exists and is directed towards a homeless person in every single city across this Country and is rooted in ignorance and the smug self-satisfaction of excusing hurtful gossip, then I'm going to shoot that shit down.  If that person is a new user, that's irrelevant as far as I'm concerned (it's not as if I'd noticed that he/she was a new user either but whatever).

If a new user wants a warm welcome, then perhaps they should put a little more thought into their first post and not resort to spreading horseshit myths and branding people with addiction and mental health issues as "nutboxes" and homeless people as "tramps".

Its his first post man. Anyone reading would see there was no ill intention in what he wrote and he certainly didn't deserve your comically ott undeniably aggressive retort. Fair enough if you think it's a misguided thing to write; maybe I even agree with you there...but fucking hell theres friendlier ways of putting a point across

"Resort to spreading bullshit myths" etc? Can you actually hear yourself?

As a mostly passive reader this sort of thing seems to happen a lot nowadays; people are rude and aggressive towards first time posters when they don't deserve it, and his is a perfect example; even in the guys replies he doesn't resort to your overly argumentative tone.

kalowski

Quote from: Replies From View on January 04, 2019, 11:44:16 AM
Was he nicknamed "Blackpool Rock"?
Ha.
I remember him repeatedly saying, "That's how much I love Keegan."

PlanktonSideburns

Sleeping out through winter is seriously bad news for your mental and physical health, freezing yourself through, struggle go get proper sustenance, constant threat of violence, society looking down on you, if you're out all this winter your chances if getting lung infections, pneumonia and the like will skyrocket, plus longterm stuff like arthritis from not sleeping on proper beds,- I'm with Eddie on this one - even if their rich, you can't buy new teeth and bones - sleeping rough even in good weather is a ducking tough business, and should not be romanticised

I'm sure that malice isn't intended, but sharing these rumours of happy homeless I think is accidentally dangerous, as it helps perpetuate this othering of people stuck in the shit

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on January 04, 2019, 07:00:13 PM
Sleeping out through winter is seriously bad news for your mental and physical health, freezing yourself through, struggle go get proper sustenance, constant threat of violence, society looking down on you, if you're out all this winter your chances if getting lung infections, pneumonia and the like will skyrocket, plus longterm stuff like arthritis from not sleeping on proper beds,- I'm with Eddie on this one - even if their rich, you can't buy new teeth and bones - sleeping rough even in good weather is a ducking tough business, and should not be romanticised

I'm sure that malice isn't intended, but sharing these rumours of happy homeless I think is accidentally dangerous, as it helps perpetuate this othering of people stuck in the shit

It was a small detail in a short anecdote and didn't deserve the amount of.over the top scrutiny it recieved. This sort of mentality deters a lot of new posters from posting again; why would they bother if that's what you're met with?

What you are saying is completely understandable, but does it really have to stoop.to that level of unnecessary anger? I wasn't really on about you

"If you're going to come on here spreading bullshit myths then I'm going to call you out you fucking idiot; that's ridiculous. Read the post again; it's a new poster offering a couple.of accounts in keeping with the thread. In all honesty I think.its a good example of some people being a bit too prolific on here and flying off the handle too often. unnecessary arguments seem to occupy so much of the forum at present

I can't copy the Wikipedia link but Google Józef Stawinoga or Fred the Ring Road Tramp. He was a fixture in Wolverhampton for as long as I could remember, was certainly a rare case and was hardly rich but he did leave several thousands in unclaimed pension.

buttgammon

For what it's worth, a know of a case of a relatively affluent man with mental health difficulties who spent much of his life living in the woods as he claimed to prefer it that way. He owned a house which he evidently used sometimes (perhaps in very bad weather, for example) but he rarely spent time there.

Sebastian Cobb

I'm not sure I agree with the notion everyone who rejects modern society and chooses to be a hermit is unhappy and mentally ill. What about people who live all year round in converted buses or campers are they autistic and sad as well?

king_tubby


Or my loft? I've never seen him but we have whispered chats most nights when my partner's sleeping.