Euphoria II: The Fertile Brain.

[Fishfinger]

You thought you ate that yoghurt. But no, there it is. Beneath the table. Open and furry. You grin, and tickle its beard. I love you. You laugh, and go looking for a spoon.

[Fishfinger]

A self-published author murmurs, "This'll be luh wun thell rememblelom flurr." The nurse smiles. Yes. Adjusts the straps and mops the spittle.

[Fishfinger]

You inject an amount of heroin sufficient to make you feel pretty damn amazing for a while, but insufficient to terminate your existence.

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

You shake the paw of a very distinguished golden retriever.

[dex]

The jobsworth at work who, oh-so loves to point out other people's mistakes and broadcast it to all and sundry makes a cock up all of his own. OH YES!!!

[Ferris]

You shake the paw of a very distinguished golden retriever.

Laughed!

[Glebe]

Yes, nice work, Foggy!

[Glebe]

Ohhh, those flossups! I've no idea what a flossups is, but it sounds good!

[Ferris]

I just spent a nice evening housesitting, with a lovely dog. 2 glasses of wine and a barbecue, now off to bed early.

[Glebe]

I just spent a nice evening housesitting, with a lovely dog. 2 glasses of wine and a barbecue, now off to bed early.

For real? Nice one, Ferris!

Meanwhile, a huge marshmallow just comes bouncin' down the street, filling all with joy and wonder, yay!

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

You crest a hill and the land opens unfolds to the horizon, render distance doesn't exist in real life, you can see for miles. The world looks like a game from up here. The cars look like toys from up here.

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

The tide rolls out, and out, and out. Vast expanse of beach, the wind whips and you can hear the waves in the distance. A cheerful spaniel approaches you, stick in mouth, tail wagging. "AH go on then mate!".

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

The sky is a vivid pink and orange. It brings you out of your endless chattering monologue for two minutes. Which is enough.

[pancreas]

A dog steals a chain of sausages from a butcher's shop which were on the turn. He is able to claim back the loss through his contents insurance.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Clive rereads the first draft of the dystopian SciFi novel he abandoned writing five years ago, and decides it not that bad afterall. May in fact be worth persevering with.

[Pingers]

In the heatwave, Gyles Brandreth bends over and extrudes freezy pops for everyone from his anus.

[Gregory Torso]

A bin lorry as iridescent as a freshly-caught rainbow trout leaps joyfully from town to town eating up the children.

[Gregory Torso]

A dog laughs and says "holy shit" at the leg wound it just caused.

[Pingers]

[Pingers]

Jeremy Clarkson appears on telly and says "I'm so sorry, I've been a massive arse haven't I?" Then goes on a four year silent retreat to sort his shit out.

[New Jack]

Seems dead sound though, we are clearly ships in the night (on the train) but I'm gonna go home elated.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Woke up to the sound of heavy rain this morning. Such a wonderful sound it is too..

Its still doing it.

Truely Wonderful

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

Me too, and now the suns out just in time for me to ride my bike into work.

S'alright innit.

[Glebe]

Keith Chegwin faked his own death, and is about to make a comeback big style!

[Ferris]

Keith Chegwin faked his own death, and is about to make a comeback big style!

And who's he brought with him? Why it's John Lennon and Brucie!

[Pingers]

Actual Wombles found living on Wimbledon Common. One of them is called Cockwomble.

[Gregory Torso]

Actual Wombles found living on Wimbledon Common. One of them is called Cockwomble.

Stephen Fry gasses their burrows, bulldozes them and uses their pelts to make a jerkin.

[Pingers]

The nation decides it doesn't really like Wombles anyway so the whole episode just adds to Stephen Fry's cachet

[New Jack]

Wayne pops out of Ken's birthday cake, nude, singing

[Glebe]

A frog decides that it is high time the pond become a place of good cheer, and sets about brightening the place up, insomuch as a frog can do such a thing.

Stephen Fry gasses their burrows, bulldozes them and uses their pelts to make a jerkin.

Actually utter desolation, but chucklesome nonetheless!