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Euphoria II: The Fertile Brain.

Started by Glebe, June 24, 2017, 09:51:50 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

rasta-spouse

The guy you hit-and-ran when trying to FF Maron's latest intro? No worries mate, turns out he was one of the worst sex traffickers in your area. And those tart cherries show up in the boot!

Glebe

A possum greets you well, nodding its head in the polite manner one would expect of the better class of marsupial!

Twit 2

Your distended bollocks are a haven for trapped Jesuits.

Lordofthefiles

Free pube comb inside a packet of Space Raiders, things is looking up.

Pingers

A young couple, about 17 years old, walk hand in hand down a dusty and ragged post-industrial street, a sinking golden sun blazing a halo of hopefulness around them. He walks tall with shoulders back, she has great legs. They are young and in love, as yet unwearied by life's furlongs, the going good. The outward press of promise and possibility sparks from their glowing skins to radiate with the throbbing ultraviolet, as the huge sun slips down in anticipation of tomorrow's dawn. 

rasta-spouse

After attending one of his low-key gigs you notice that Aziz Ansari has personally left an After Eight next to your mobile device when it is unsealed from its Yondr pouch. Thanks buddy, gonna enjoy chewing on this minty treat while I check the last hour's DMs!

grassbath

You tell your fickle, shallow ex 'you've made me feel really uncomfortable and humiliated. See you around, or not I guess' and flounce right the fuck out of the party!

Glebe

You hear a weird, muffled pigeon coo and it makes you laugh.

Fishfinger

Brian Harvey dabs outside a defunct Spudulike.

Ferris

Drunk on Stoke Newington high street at 2am, you try a saveloy for the very first time.

Earnest Sexpot


Glebe

Beautiful view, warm sun, cold pint, bliss.

Fishfinger

A kitty derps and you had your camera ready. 3 people will love it.

Fishfinger

You just think about all the jelly you got, and what you could do with it. Wow. It would almost be disappointing to actually do it. Lie back and think. All that jelly. Oh boy.

Sebastian Cobb

Queueing for a bus where people are already stood in the aisles and you see an empty one pulling up over the brow of the hill. It's ok driver, I'll get the next one!

Cuellar

A 43 year old accountant's dormant homosexuality roars back to life while watching a clip of Fred Dibnah negotiating an overhang on a chimney in Darwen.

Glebe

You win the Lotto, holiday, lots of goodies, meals, drinks, the lot.

Glebe



Ferris


Gregory Torso

Girl at work tells you she loves you to the max.

You contract Legionnaire's Disease, but it's the kind that turns you into a Roman soldier.

The spirit of Leonard Cohen unfurls from your bedside lamp to recite gravel pit hymnals as you fall asleep to the songs of church bells.

No one is ever talking shit about you behind your back.

A tall girl's bare shoulders.

An ant surveys, plots out and conquers a coffee stain.

Morrissey is given community service as a regional news weatherman


Fishfinger

A car forced to stop at traffic lights by your open window is belting out Bempt Luego.

Ferris

Quote from: Fishfinger on September 01, 2019, 12:36:11 AM
A car forced to stop at traffic lights by your open window is belting out Bempt Luego.

It syncs up perfectly with your own speaker system's strains of Bempt Luego. You and the driver fall in love. It lasts and you are happy, for a time.

Fishfinger

You can eat as much jelly as you want! It's a fact! And so easy to prove! I mean, look, have you ever shat out a bit of jelly? Of course not! Because all of the jelly goodness (and other bits) is absorbed into the body as healthy, helpful jelly energy. Eat as much jelly as you want!

Mmm, jelly.

Post sponsored by the Jelly Marketing Board

Fishfinger

"Hey you guys, it's your boy Jesus..." That's right. He's finally back and he has a YouTube channel.

Ferris


Fishfinger

Oxtail soup and a couple of fresh rolls, and The Andrew Neil Show is on in less than twenty minutes!

NJ Uncut

Fresh from rolling down the countryside in Scotland and through the untouched fields and sloping hills and curves of northern England, an oil worker sees a plume of smoke on the horizon and embraces the best part of the trip: the stale air, the machinery, the thrum under your feet; simply and purely coming back.

Home.

Gregory Torso

A warm dude, caring heart and hands, dungarees, nothing else, tattoo of a sunday roast on his chest, chuckles, chopsticks, little teeth like a cat's, little bright eyes, comes up to you in the sun warmed bakery aisles of sainsburys. "I just took a magnum shit in the freezer" he laughs, clapping you on the back and sauntering away, as the disgust begins to catch amongst the shoppers.

Gregory Torso

A giant man with pudding haircut looms over you at work. "what have you got there pal" you ask. "Yewels" he booms, emptying out a bag of screws, bottle tops and glass splinters all over your desk and keyboard, "for a beautiful ylady."