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March 29, 2024, 07:18:20 AM

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Euphoria II: The Fertile Brain.

Started by Glebe, June 24, 2017, 09:51:50 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

ToneLa

Your best friends at work are two lovely women who like you and give you lifts, drinks, free cakes etc. largely because you involuntarily responded to the gaffer's unbelievably sexist claptrap with a shouted WHAT YEAR IS THIS AGAIN?? in a team meeting. <3

From my Reality Series

Twit 2

The mud mites anoint you their king. "Does it come with a stipend?" you enquire.
"Why yes! Indeed!" they chuckle, and soon enough you're all chuckling in the mud.

Glebe

Take it easy for the rest of your life with free money and gifts galore. Also all the emotional support you need to make it through the rest of your fantastic days. Enjoy!

spaghetamine

Oliver Postgate's ghost visits you every night to read you a bedtime story.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: Twit 2 on March 11, 2020, 07:05:01 AM
The mud mites anoint you their king. "Does it come with a stipend?" you enquire.
"Why yes! Indeed!" they chuckle, and soon enough you're all chuckling in the mud.

Hahaha

Shoulders?-Stomach!

I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the powerwanking frot sentries have gone

Glebe

When all this covid nightmare is over you organize a special party for family and friends. The evening ends on a high note, with your eccentric Uncle Jack revolving on a stool while the DJ plays 'My Way'.

wosl

And the scamp behind the decks has elected to play the Sid Vicious version!  In a trice everyone's up, doing Elvis lip-curls and pogoing around as though it were their 'joker event' at an It's A Knockout tournament.

Glebe


Glebe

You purchase a parsnip without being offered a jar of piss by a piss-obssessed greengrocer.

Glebe

You let out an enormous fart and your anxiety fades.

Glebe

You go to Heaven and its brilliant.

petril

The "Special Films" turned out to be a selection of 70s porn, but then – success! An LWT junction from 29/07/79

Fishfinger

Alone at last, two pigs frott in a deserted zoo.

Fishfinger

Gove emerges from isolation, crawling on his limbs, and is immediately twatted by a massive bag of shit.

Fishfinger

Marmite. Haven't had Marmite in years.

Gregory Torso

The ghost of Brian Cant yawns, and hundreds of little baby Brian Cant ghosts spill out of his mouth like a seahorse giving birth.

Gregory Torso

You awake to find a baby mouse washing its little face in a pool of ceiling drip that has collected within your inverted sternum.

Gregory Torso

A party, the best party, a jigsaw, a collage of people all pasted together getting wasted together, all forming opinions like stalactites, your party, everyone is here because of you, pressed, crushed, sweat warm, trays of anal plugs and miniature cactuses.

Gregory Torso

you have eyes and a mouth which is more than can be said of a bit of wood.


Ferris

Listening to Breathless by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on nice headphone very loud.

Ferris

You teach your toddler son the game of "Tummy Drums" which is just saying "Tummy Drums!" and everyone immediately hits their tummy(-drums) and laughs about it.

Your son learns to dance when music is on, and you can dial in his preferences. Irving Gershwin - mediocre, the Fall - only slightly better, James Brown - BIG success, Nick Cave - positive but he's no James Brown. You have a lifetime together to get it right.

You've saved up enough to resign from the job you hate and buy a house for your young family, and open up the next phase of your life. The anticipation of taking the next step is almost as good as doing it, and thanks to COVID-19 you are only able to anticipate indefinitely because no one can move anywhere or resign.

Ferris

You love, and are loved, and know exactly how fortunate you are.

Ferris

You live above a brewery, so you can still drink 3 tins on a Monday evening without serious fear of running out of hooch.

Ferris

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on May 12, 2020, 03:03:32 AM
You live above a brewery, so you can still drink 3 tins on a Monday evening without serious fear of running out of hooch.

You open a fourth tin as your wife rolls her eyes.

You've never felt this incredibly lucky to be who you are, and where you are, and you really, genuinely appreciate it.

Cerys

You awake one morning to the realisation that Jeremy Kyle is trapped in lockdown alone and with no access to the outside world.

The above was brought to you courtesy of the following piece of Desolation:
Quote from: the midnight watch baboon on May 18, 2020, 11:45:29 PM
Izzie gets locked in syndrome watching Jeremy Kyle's lockdown comeback.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Your marriage proposal 'M A r r y M e' spelled in Pringles on the bed, is excitedly accepted.

Glebe

Apparently if you stare at a photo of Gordon Kaye long enough you can hear the Bergerac theme in your head. Scientists don't yet know why it doesn't happen with pictures of John Nettles, or why you don't hear the 'Allo 'Allo! theme staring at a Kaye pic, but in any case it can cause mild euphoria.

jenna appleseed

Confused tumblr witches accidentally hex Moon Moon,  the results are adorable.

eta: Moon Moon finally gets the thing.

---

I legit had a dental checkup yesterday at 2:30.