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Just been invited to a mass organised orgy

Started by Shit Good Nose, July 13, 2017, 11:26:26 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shit Good Nose

I politely turned down the invite but, as curiosity got the better of me, I probed (fnarr) to find out more - they happen once a month, typically 20 to 25 people (roughly 50/50 male and female - a transgender used to attend, but has since settled down with a long term partner), condoms must be worn by the men, no one can make someone else do anything they don't want to do, involvement is free but you are asked to contribute towards costs of hiring the venue/refreshments/damage etc, you can only attend if you are invited by a long-term member, no photos or recording equipment, any member striking up a proper relationship with with another member are asked to leave the group out of respect for the no-strings vibe, married couples/those in relationships are not allowed to attend (apparently the hardest rule to police as they've had so many bored husbands and wives join and claim they are single), no one under the age of 21 is permitted to attend, members are allowed to be social with other members outside of the gatherings but are asked not to talk about the gatherings publically.

Fascinating stuff.

Have you ever been invited to, or taken part in a mass organised orgy?

black_betty


Shit Good Nose

And?

You can't just dangle that carrot and then walk off!

Quincey

I would like to go to one of these. I presume it's not like swinging, I don't have to bring someone. It's a shame I couldn't take your place.

biggytitbo

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 11:26:26 AM
involvement is free but you are asked to contribute towards costs of hiring the venue/refreshments/damage etc


...bleach, dettol, air freshener...

Norton Canes


Icehaven

That's a lot of (largely unenforceable) rules for something so supposedly freewheeling. I thought bored couples were the meat and potatoes of this kind of thing?

Jim_MacLaine

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 11:26:26 AM
Members are allowed to be social with other members outside of the gatherings but are asked not to talk about the gatherings publically.

The first rule about Fuck Club?

I've been to a few fetish/swinger crossover parties/clubs being an open minded sort who fancied a girl from work who was into that sort of thing.

Just don't go into the 'dark room'.

Birdie

I thought you were married/ in a relationship? Didn't the person inviting you know that?

thenoise

Quote from: icehaven on July 13, 2017, 11:35:22 AMI thought bored couples were the meat and potatoes of this kind of thing?

Don't know much about this sort of thing, but the less secretive clubs around Bristol/Bath are basically either gay or couples/single women only.

Otherwise you would turn up and it would just be a bunch of sleazy looking guys bothering the two women who showed up all night, while you stand in the corner wanking.

'Couples only' could easily be a friend you dragged along or someone you found online (or even hired for the evening), but at least it keeps the gender balance roughly equal.

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

I would refuse to join any orgy which would accept someone like me as a member.

touchingcloth

The idea of an orgy is really sexy, isn't it? That all got shattered for me when I watched Louis Theroux's Weird Weekend where he attended a sex festival, which was mainly average looking and moderately overweight middle aged people sat around chatting and drinking (nothing against this) before dragging themselves off for sordid bonking on mattress strewn floors in pitch black rooms. Eyes Wide Shit, more like.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 11:32:54 AM
I would like to go to one of these. I presume it's not like swinging, I don't have to bring someone. It's a shame I couldn't take your place.

No - they make it very clear that it is NOT swinging.  They prefer to have single people attend.


Quote from: biggytitbo on July 13, 2017, 11:33:36 AM
...bleach, dettol, air freshener...

Apparently the biggest problem they have is getting rid of the smell of sex.  They occasionally hire out large houses for these gatherings, and they obviously dont want the place filled with fuck fumes if there's a couple of families with young kids turning up the next day.


Quote from: Norton Canes on July 13, 2017, 11:34:58 AM
Is that one of the rules?

Dangling carrots are encouraged, but not enforced.


Quote from: icehaven on July 13, 2017, 11:35:22 AM
That's a lot of (largely unenforceable) rules for something so supposedly freewheeling. I thought bored couples were the meat and potatoes of this kind of thing?

That's what I thought when the guy told me, but this group don't tend to like having bored couples together or separately without the other partner knowing.  I think they just basically want to avoid hassle if a husband/wife/partner finds out and also keep the members relaxed.  Having said that, the reason I was invited (by a guy I've worked with for 16 years, who in that time has become a good friend and we confide quite a lot in each other) is because he's aware that I've not sexed for getting on for 2 years now on account of my wife's crazy pills completely killing her libido and he's been feeling a bit sorry for me.  But I refused for several reasons - don't want to do risk the marriage or upsetting Mrs Nose and Nose Jnr, can't be doing with the guilt, can't be doing with the hassle and, apart from anything else, I honestly don't know how people who do things like that behind their family's back find the time to do it and manage it.

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

Quote from: icehaven on July 13, 2017, 11:35:22 AM
I thought bored couples were the meat and potatoes of this kind of thing?

Meat and two veg surely?

Quincey

How do I get involved in one of these orgies? Shit Good Nose, does your friend have any contacts in Oxfordshire?

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: thenoise on July 13, 2017, 11:42:19 AM
Don't know much about this sort of thing, but the less secretive clubs around Bristol/Bath are basically either gay or couples/single women only.

Otherwise you would turn up and it would just be a bunch of sleazy looking guys bothering the two women who showed up all night, while you stand in the corner wanking.

'Couples only' could easily be a friend you dragged along or someone you found online (or even hired for the evening), but at least it keeps the gender balance roughly equal.

This one is well established (it's been going for nearly 20 years, and my workmate has been a member for the last 6 or 7) and there has, apparently, always been a fairly equal split of men and women.  Some years the women outnumber the men, some years the men outnumber the women, but it's never too far one way.  Plus some of the members are bisexual, so woman-on-woman and man-on-man is a regular thing.


Quote from: touchingcloth on July 13, 2017, 11:45:00 AM
The idea of an orgy is really sexy, isn't it? That all got shattered for me when I watched Louis Theroux's Weird Weekend where he attended a sex festival, which was mainly average looking and moderately overweight middle aged people sat around chatting and drinking (nothing against this) before dragging themselves off for sordid bonking on mattress strewn floors in pitch black rooms. Eyes Wide Shit, more like.

Quite.  He assures me that there are quite a few "lookers" that attend, but most of the members are basically sex addicts who don't really care too much about looks.  They just want to fuck.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Birdie on July 13, 2017, 11:42:04 AM
I thought you were married/ in a relationship? Didn't the person inviting you know that?

Indeed I am, and yes he does.  See explanation in above response.


Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 11:48:41 AM
How do I get involved in one of these orgies? Shit Good Nose, does your friend have any contacts in Oxfordshire?

This one happens in various locations around the South West, usually around the Bristol/Bath area, but they have gone as far north as Gloucestershire and as far south as Cornwall.  But I suspect Oxfordshire doesn't get a look-in.  My workmate isn't the "main man", so I suspect he doesn't know about other similar groups.  I can ask him if you want though?  I'm seeing him in a bit.

Quincey

Please. Sorry if I sound a bit desperate. Just having a long dry period and very lonely.

I presume all these orgies are safe? And if I have to cancel if I'm not feeling well (say if I broke my leg or something), there would be no penalty.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 11:32:18 AM
And?

You can't just dangle that carrot and then walk off!

I assume he/she was joking about being asked to organise one.

I wonder what the etiquette is. Do you ask to be had sex with or run around like a madman? The condoms stuff is a turnoff.

Quincey

I presume you all sit down for a chat, socialise for a bit and then ask someone if they want a fuck. Or there is an organiser and the men stand in one line and the women in the other and he counts the men one to ten and then the women one to ten and then each man pairs with the same number woman.

Or it's a complete grumble style free for all and you just go round asking each person if you can fuck them.

I wonder if there are any themed orgies.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 11:52:43 AM
Please. Sorry if I sound a bit desperate. Just having a long dry period and very lonely.

I presume all these orgies are safe? And if I have to cancel if I'm not feeling well (say if I broke my leg or something), there would be no penalty.

I will ask.

I'm assuming this one is safe - as I said, my mate's been going for 6 or 7 years, they have the condom rule for the guys, and it's a very well oiled machine.  Most of the members have been going for a long time, and there's also got to be an element of safety-in-numbers with it.  BUT, whether the same can be applied to other similar gatherings, I've no idea.  This is the first time I've ever been invited to something like this, and it's not something I've ever looked into in the past.

As for cancelling - I presume so, however the one thing I do know about these things is, like finding fuck buddies online, they don't really want anyone who isn't sure about it.  As I understand it, there's no "easing you in" or orientation - if you want to join in, you really are expected to join in.


Quote from: checkoutgirl on July 13, 2017, 11:53:14 AM
The condoms stuff is a turnoff.

Again, I'm guessing that's just to keep everyone relaxed and avoid STDs and pregnancies.


Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 11:57:10 AM
I presume you all sit down for a chat, socialise for a bit and then ask someone if they want a fuck. Or there is an organiser and the men stand in one line and the women in the other and he counts the men one to ten and then the women one to ten and then each man pairs with the same number woman.

Or it's a complete grumble style free for all and you just go round asking each person if you can fuck them.

Basically once everyone is there, the doors are locked and the curtains (if there are curtains) are drawn, and then you just get down to it.

black_betty

Quote from: checkoutgirl on July 13, 2017, 11:53:14 AM
I assume he/she was joking about being asked to organise one.

Yes, the implication being that I wasn't being invited to be a participant, I was just being offered an admin job.

I can only apologise about the carrot.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 11:57:10 AM
I presume you all sit down for a chat, socialise for a bit and then ask someone if they want a fuck. Or there is an organiser and the men stand in one line and the women in the other and he counts the men one to ten and then the women one to ten and then each man pairs with the same number woman.

Or it's a complete grumble style free for all and you just go round asking each person if you can fuck them.

You're obviously as in the dark as I am. But I don't think an orgy is a cure for loneliness, more a temporary fix for sex addicts as was said above.

Quincey

Quote from: checkoutgirl on July 13, 2017, 12:00:48 PM
You're obviously as in the dark as I am. But I don't think an orgy is a cure for loneliness, more a temporary fix for sex addicts as was said above.

I know it's not a cure but it will cheer me up given that I haven't had sex ever and it might be the only chance I get to have sex for free (I don't want to pay for it). Will orgy participants mind that I'm not very experienced.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: black_betty on July 13, 2017, 12:00:43 PM
Yes, the implication being that I wasn't being invited to be a participant, I was just being offered an admin job.

I can only apologise about the carrot.

It was a good joke that referred to the OP's mention of organising one. Who would be asked to organise one? Ha! Mate, we're having an orgy, here's a list of phone numbers, will you organose the times, dates and venue? Obviously you're not allowed go. Here's 20 quid for your trouble. But you take it don't you, you're glad of the temp work.

Like Luiz Gusman in Boogie Nights, desperate to be in a porno but only allowed the occasional speaking part.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 12:01:44 PM
I know it's not a cure but it will cheer me up given that I haven't had sex ever and it might be the only chance I get to have sex for free (I don't want to pay for it). Will orgy participants mind that I'm not very experienced.

If I wasn't having regular sex the last place I'd feel confident would be an orgy. I'd be paranoid about premature ejaculation, erectile disfunction, embarrassment and Christ knows what else. It's a mine field to be honest.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: black_betty on July 13, 2017, 12:00:43 PM
Yes, the implication being that I wasn't being invited to be a participant, I was just being offered an admin job.

I can only apologise about the carrot.

Ahhhh, right.  Sorry - my bad for being humourless in that moment.  I just thought you meant someone asked you to organise an orgy and you said no.  I didn't take it further in my head as a joke.


Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 12:01:44 PM
I know it's not a cure but it will cheer me up given that I haven't had sex ever and it might be the only chance I get to have sex for free (I don't want to pay for it). Will orgy participants mind that I'm not very experienced.

That will be something I'll have to ask my workmate, but as for it being free - as I said, with this one members pay...I guess it's an admin fee of sorts and, depending on the venue and how many people go to that one, it could be quite expensive (possibly more than a prostitute?).  If you just want one-on-one free sex, I think you'd be better off finding a fuck buddy online.  There's LOADS of them around, and I guarantee there will be at least a couple within walking distance from where you live.  One of my other mates went with fuck buddies for a couple of years after a string of long-term relationships that ended very badly.  BUT, again, most fuck buddies will probably expect you to be rock hard and ready.  On the other hand, there may be some mature ones out there who will relish the thought of breaking in a virgin.  Logic dictates it.

black_betty


touchingcloth

Quote from: checkoutgirl on July 13, 2017, 12:06:49 PM
If I wasn't having regular sex the last place I'd feel confident would be an orgy. I'd be paranoid about premature ejaculation, erectile disfunction, embarrassment and Christ knows what else. It's a mine field to be honest.

I had written a nearly identical post, but checkoutgirl beat me to it. I think you're kidding yourself if you think that losing your virginity at an orgy for sex addicts will cheer you up. The first time is difficult and you could end up emotionally damaged rather than cheered up. Try using the internet to look for one on one no string stuff if you're really desperate to just get your rocks off, but avoid the sex parties, mate.

Norton Canes

Reading this thread, I think I've discovered a new facial expression

It's born of a mixture of bewilderment, curiosity, disgust and disbelief. I literally don't think I've ever had to form this expression before.