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Just been invited to a mass organised orgy

Started by Shit Good Nose, July 13, 2017, 11:26:26 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Norton Canes on July 13, 2017, 12:15:06 PM
Reading this thread, I think I've discovered a new facial expression

It's born of a mixture of bewilderment, curiosity, disgust and disbelief. I literally don't think I've ever had to form this expression before.

Just think how I struggled to express myself when he asked me!

I painted it as quite a normal response in my first post, but believe me it was anything but.

Anyways, I'm off to have a pint with him now, so I shall question further...

pancreas

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 12:20:40 PM
Just think how I struggled to express myself when he asked me!

I painted it as quite a normal response in my first post, but believe me it was anything but.

Anyways, I'm off to have a pint with him now, so I shall question further...

Please ask about the catering. If I were running an orgy I would have cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and madeleines---basically an afternoon tea. I would like to know how appropriate that is, please.

phantom_power

Just imagine going to an orgy and being turned down by everyone you invite for some fun time. Imagine. That's one of the reasons I would never attend an orgy

Cuellar

Imagine going to an orgy and being really popular; everyone wanting to shag you, sucking you off, licking you out, whatever. Going down a storm.

Do you think you'd feel good, all these sex addicts lining up to bang you and be banged by you? Whole party of people just trying to bang, not really interested in who or why. Just banging.

Quote from: pancreas on July 13, 2017, 12:23:48 PM
Please ask about the catering. If I were running an orgy I would have cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and madeleines---basically an afternoon tea. I would like to know how appropriate that is, please.



Also, don't want to be pedantic, but aren't orgies by definition 'mass'? When does group sex become an orgy? That's what I want to know (desperately).

Norton Canes

Quote from: pancreas on July 13, 2017, 12:23:48 PM
Please ask about the catering. If I were running an orgy I would have cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and madeleines---basically an afternoon tea. I would like to know how appropriate that is, please

I'd just go for hot dogs and long buns. Basically extend what people are there for to the food.

Dex Sawash

I predict a flurry of activity in the 'grabs' thread

pancreas

Quote from: Norton Canes on July 13, 2017, 12:28:58 PM
I'd just go for hot dogs and long buns. Basically extend what people are there for to the food.

With tomato ketchup, right?

Norton Canes

Quote from: pancreas on July 13, 2017, 12:31:53 PM
With tomato ketchup, right?

Ketchup, mayo, mustard or HP, to indicate your orifice of preference.

kittens

i don't think i'd have much fun at an orgy. i'd jizz pretty quick and then stop wanting to be at the orgy. is it acceptable to go there, jizz then leave? or is there an understanding that everyone must really put their back into it, past the point of enjoyment? is there a quota of people i must make cum before i can leave? whole thing sounds like a headache. to anyone interested in doing this, simply have a wank right now and the feeling will subside. thank me later when you're not balls deep in a middle aged stranger wondering if you could fit through the open window.

Norton Canes

I think I'd be sick in a corner within five minutes.

Brundle-Fly

Will there be large bunches of grapes that I would be able to dangle above my head to eat? It's not an orgy unless there are grapes.

Dex Sawash


pancreas

Quote from: Norton Canes on July 13, 2017, 12:38:27 PM
I think I'd be sick in a corner within five minutes.

Then you shouldn't eat so many hot dogs.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on July 13, 2017, 12:44:01 PM
It's not an orgy unless there are grapes.

Don't you mean rapes?

No, there was a bunch of them.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: kittens on July 13, 2017, 12:37:37 PM
i don't think i'd have much fun at an orgy. i'd jizz pretty quick and then stop wanting to be at the orgy. is it acceptable to go there, jizz then leave? or is there an understanding that everyone must really put their back into it, past the point of enjoyment? is there a quota of people i must make cum before i can leave? whole thing sounds like a headache. to anyone interested in doing this, simply have a wank right now and the feeling will subside. thank me later when you're not balls deep in a middle aged stranger wondering if you could fit through the open window.

Surely you're young enough to have maybe two or three jizzes in the same night kittens?

About ten years ago I walked past Rio's Spa in Kentish Town and thought about going inside as it looked cheap and the idea of relaxing in a Jacuzzi for hours appealed, but thought I'd check the reviews online first. That's when I found it was a naturist spa and lots of rude stuff goes on there, but apparently you tend to get 2 or 3 women in there on average and about 30 men, and sadly that's not my cup of tea.

Shit Good Nose

Firstly, let me say that I posed further questions on behalf of myself and "another mate", rather than say "I've been writing about your sex club on a public forum".


Quote from: Cuellar on July 13, 2017, 12:27:28 PM
Also, don't want to be pedantic, but aren't orgies by definition 'mass'? When does group sex become an orgy? That's what I want to know (desperately).

My own words.  Normally orgy videos have "only" got about 6 or 7 people involved, but as this group is usually 20 to 25, I didn't know if a distinction needed to be made.  So I made it.


Quote from: pancreas on July 13, 2017, 12:23:48 PM
Please ask about the catering. If I were running an orgy I would have cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and madeleines---basically an afternoon tea. I would like to know how appropriate that is, please.

No food, only non-alcoholic refreshments.  Apparently they did used to allow booze, but stopped it when they discovered that one of the guys had a drink problem, he had too much at one gathering and kicked another guy in the head because he was shagging the woman the drunk guy wanted to shag.

Basically most of the rules they have now have been drawn up over time after "incidents".

Anyway

Quincey - my workmate does not have any knowledge of any other groups in other parts of the country, BUT he confirmed what pretty much everyone else in this thread has said - orgies are REALLY not for you.  We both came to the conclusion that the best option, if you were really that desperate and not willing to wait out for a relationship, is a professional escort (as opposed to a prostitute).  But that obviously costs a fair amount of money.  Note that is not - NOT - our recommendation or advice, just the best box-ticking option we could come up with.

He was very very clear that these gatherings were for sex addicts and/or very relaxed people with few inhibitions and hang-ups.

He also showed me some pics of some of the members (not mid-fucking, just Facebook profile pics and the like) and I can confirm that there are indeed some very attractive women and handsome men, but also some right old humpers, of various ages.  My mate stressed again that most of the members really didn't care about looks (in fact he said that the most popular male member with most of the other women is a guy in his 50s who is a bit overweight and very average looking, but apparently he's just amazing at fucking so they can't get enough of him).

Prospective members are vetted very carefully over months to assess their suitability and whether or not the assessor thinks that they would be interested in such a thing - they don't just go and ask someone they vaguely know by the kettle during a tea break (although that's sort of how he asked me this morning).

So - fucking then.

kittens

i mean i certainly could force more jizz out, i just wouldn't necessarily want to

kittens

no booze? that's insanity. they're doing this sober!

thenoise

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 12:01:44 PM
I know it's not a cure but it will cheer me up given that I haven't had sex ever and it might be the only chance I get to have sex for free (I don't want to pay for it). Will orgy participants mind that I'm not very experienced.

Would you like your first time attempting sex to be watched by a dozen highly experienced sex addict guys all eagerly waiting for you to get out of the way so they can have their turn?  You want a nice patient girl who will cuddle you and talk you through your first time.  Even then, it'll probably be shit.  It's ok, it gets better!

I wouldn't necessarily recommend going with a 'normal' prostitute, but do a bit of research and fork out some money, go with somebody quite 'exclusive' so that you can avoid funding exploitation or anyone's drug habit.  Book in a few hours, explain your situation, be prepared to do a lot of foreplay and cuddling.  There is an agency in Amsterdam that specialises in older virgin guys, that's probably as sure a way as any to make sure your first time goes smoothly.  But don't worry if it's embarrassing and crap, it is for most people and it gets better.

Quincey

QuoteYou want a nice patient girl who will cuddle you and talk you through your first time.

I think at 31 the chance of me finding this is very low. And I would rather never have sex for the rest of my life than pay money for it (Not being judgemental of those who do pay money for it).

I agree that I don't want to be watched by a load of highly experienced people, so I suppose an orgy is out.

thenoise

I met my girlfriend at 29 and she had had only one prior sexual partner.  A lot of people aren't very experienced for all sorts of reasons.

Would you prefer to have casual sex than a sexual relationship?

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 01:51:41 PM
I think at 31 the chance of me finding this is very low.

Mate - 31 is young.  Still plenty of time.  There are plenty of guys and gals out there who didn't hook up with anyone until they were in their 40s.  An acquaintance of min is 54 and he's only just got married to a woman he met 2 years ago (pretty sure he was a virgin until then as well as he'd always said it was his first relationship).

Down but not out, is what you are.  Never say never.

biggytitbo

I'd be mortified if i turned up and another man had a very similar cock to mine.

Quincey

I'd be quite glad (if they had a cock similar to mine I mean, not that they had one similar to biggytitbo's, which I've never seen) as it would make me feel better about the unusual bits. And I could ask him how he found having a cock like mine.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 02:03:17 PM
not that they had one similar to biggytitbo's, which I've never seen

Once it has been seen, you can't unsee it.  The horror.......the horror.............

thenoise

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 02:03:17 PM
...it would make me feel better about the unusual bits. And I could ask him how he found having a cock like mine.

Don't post a picture, but can you describe your unusual parts?

DON'T post a picture.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

The word 'venue' in the opening post is what I found intriguing.

Sports hall? Cons club?

Quincey

Not really, it's just a bit pockmarked, sort of bendy in places, just doesn't look like any of the cocks in grumble. I don't really have any non-grumble cocks to compare it to. I wonder if you go to the doctor's and tell them you are a bit worried about your cock  they get out a load of photos of cocks and ask you if it looks like any of these before you get your cock out. I'm not worried about it but it does look very odd to me, nothing I can put my finger on but doesn't look like the grumble cocks.

Does anyone else who is a man feel like this about their cock?

biggytitbo

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 13, 2017, 02:10:34 PM
The word 'venue' in the opening post is what I found intriguing.

Sports hall? Cons club?


I believe the first one was held in a snooker club, the second in a forklift truck yard and the third in a lock up garage just south of Kidderminister.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: biggytitbo on July 13, 2017, 02:17:47 PM

I believe the first one was held in a snooker club, the second in a forklift truck yard and the third in a lock up garage just south of Kidderminister.

'Believe'