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Just been invited to a mass organised orgy

Started by Shit Good Nose, July 13, 2017, 11:26:26 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

ollyboro

Quote from: biggytitbo on July 13, 2017, 02:01:57 PM
I'd be mortified if i turned up and another man had a very similar cock to mine.

Why? Surely you don't think that you're the only bloke who repeatedly slams  his cock with the car door to induce swelling.

jobotic

Like Asterix in Switzerland yeah?

Count me in, I love a fondue.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on July 13, 2017, 02:10:34 PM
The word 'venue' in the opening post is what I found intriguing.

Sports hall? Cons club?

Usually a large house (detached and with no immediate neighbours) that can be rented out for parties and such, but there are a few "furnished" warehouses in Bristol that can similarly be hired out (although the owners are normally told it's someone's birthday party/stag/hen do or something, rather than "we want to use your building to fuck in").  My mate said they normally try to get a house and only resort to something else as a last option.


Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 02:12:04 PM
Not really, it's just a bit pockmarked, sort of bendy in places, just doesn't look like any of the cocks in grumble. I don't really have any non-grumble cocks to compare it to. I wonder if you go to the doctor's and tell them you are a bit worried about your cock  they get out a load of photos of cocks and ask you if it looks like any of these before you get your cock out. I'm not worried about it but it does look very odd to me, nothing I can put my finger on but doesn't look like the grumble cocks.

Does anyone else who is a man feel like this about their cock?

Yiesh - the last thing you should be doing is comparing your cock to grumble cocks.  My cock is smaller than average (and remember that the average cock size is smaller than most people assume it to be - only just over 5inches when erect), and I have a short banjo string which means it's quite painful to pull the foreskin all the way back (although I don't have phimosis - the foreskin itself is not tight), but it works and, fortunately, I have other things going for me in that department - stamina and a quick turn-around.

Not that I ever watched it, but as a small cocked man, I purposely watched an episode of Embarrassing Bodies (is that the one with the handsome doctor?) a few years ago that was all about cocks, and there was a bit where handsome doctor had a group of men in a room and showed them a load of photos of cocks of different shapes, sizes, colours and whatever else.  And the question he asked these guys (all of whom had some hang-up about their own cock) was "which one of these cocks is normal?"  And all the guys, without exception, picked the nice clean looking big one.  To which handsome doctor replied "wrong.  They are ALL normal cocks".

No two cocks are the same. 

If anything, big grumble cocks are abnormal.

Small Man Big Horse

Kittens, the third jizz is the best jizz. Come on man, up your game.

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 01:28:10 PM
(in fact he said that the most popular male member with most of the other women is a guy in his 50s who is a bit overweight and very average looking, but apparently he's just amazing at fucking so they can't get enough of him).

I wondered what mook had been up to lately.

Really interesting stuff in general SGN, and I wish I'd known about such a place between 2004 - 2006, prior to the shit leg and before I was on cock killing anti depressants, I was good at sex back then. :(

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on July 13, 2017, 02:22:46 PM
Really interesting stuff in general SGN, and I wish I'd known about such a place between 2004 - 2006, prior to the shit leg and before I was on cock killing anti depressants, I was good at sex back then. :(

I hear ya.  As I said upthread, my wife is on cunt killing anti-depressants, which means neither of us get sex.

Mind you, as I keep saying, I'd rather not be having sex than live with what I lived with before the cunt killing pills...

touchingcloth

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on July 13, 2017, 02:22:46 PM
Kittens, the third jizz is the best jizz.

[tag]Cat Stevens considers rewrite.[/tag]

pancreas

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on July 13, 2017, 02:22:46 PM
I wish I'd known about such a place between 2004 - 2006, prior to the shit leg and before I was on cock killing anti depressants, I was good at sex back then. :(

Somewhat weirdly, I could totally imagine you in your element at an orgy. That says something about a man. Or at least about my perceptions of that man.

Quincey

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 02:21:30 PM
Usually a large house (detached and with no immediate neighbours) that can be rented out for parties and such, but there are a few "furnished" warehouses in Bristol that can similarly be hired out (although the owners are normally told it's someone's birthday party/stag/hen do or something, rather than "we want to use your building to fuck in").  My mate said they normally try to get a house and only resort to something else as a last option.


Yiesh - the last thing you should be doing is comparing your cock to grumble cocks.  My cock is smaller than average (and remember that the average cock size is smaller than most people assume it to be - only just over 5inches when erect), and I have a short banjo string which means it's quite painful to pull the foreskin all the way back (although I don't have phimosis - the foreskin itself is not tight), but it works and, fortunately, I have other things going for me in that department - stamina and a quick turn-around.

Not that I ever watched it, but as a small cocked man, I purposely watched an episode of Embarrassing Bodies (is that the one with the handsome doctor?) a few years ago that was all about cocks, and there was a bit where handsome doctor had a group of men in a room and showed them a load of photos of cocks of different shapes, sizes, colours and whatever else.  And the question he asked these guys (all of whom had some hang-up about their own cock) was "which one of these cocks is normal?"  And all the guys, without exception, picked the nice clean looking big one.  To which handsome doctor replied "wrong.  They are ALL normal cocks".

No two cocks are the same. 

If anything, big grumble cocks are abnormal.

It's not the size that bothers me, it's how it looks in terms of shape and smoothness.

touchingcloth

Quote from: pancreas on July 13, 2017, 02:43:47 PM
Somewhat weirdly, I could totally imagine you in your element at an orgy. That says something about a man. Or at least about my perceptions of that man.

And I can totally imagine you milling about on the fringes of an orgy, your apron on, wooden spoon in one hand, glass of <insert suitable orgy wine here, I'm sure you've got a few considerations at the fore of your mind> in the other, proffering vol-au-vents to people up to their nuts in various orifices, and with their orifices filled with varying numbers and volumes of dick.

biggytitbo

Quote from: touchingcloth on July 13, 2017, 03:18:55 PM
And I can totally imagine you milling about on the fringes of an orgy, your apron on, wooden spoon in one hand, glass of <insert suitable orgy wine here, I'm sure you've got a few considerations at the fore of your mind> in the other, proffering vol-au-vents to people up to their nuts in various orifices, and with their orifices filled with varying numbers and volumes of dick.


I'd rather go to Bridlington.

Steven

What if you were really bad at `organ'ising orgies and it went 'tits up' such as `ending up' resembling a naked Where's Wally double-page foldout of you obfuscated amongst a panoply of Louis Therouxs all doing their wry smiles? It would be tepid pensive-faced chaos!

touchingcloth

Steven, you couldn't even organise an orgy in a bloody...orgy factory, so I don't know what you're arsing on about.

MoonDust

What if you're the first to "finish" at an orgy? Do you just sit down playing on your phone until everyone else is done or do you silently slip out the door as you try and fail to awkwardly tell the organiser who's in the middle of sex "cheers for the invite, mate, I'm off. See you." and get a grunt in response?

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: pancreas on July 13, 2017, 02:43:47 PM
Somewhat weirdly, I could totally imagine you in your element at an orgy. That says something about a man. Or at least about my perceptions of that man.

I think I would have been back in the day. Not now though, now I'm a shadow of the man I used to be.

I was offered a foursome one night back in the year 2000, but I was so ridiculously drunk I would have been unable perform so gently declined the offer. It is a decision I regret to this day.

thenoise

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 02:12:04 PM
Not really, it's just a bit pockmarked, sort of bendy in places, just doesn't look like any of the cocks in grumble. I don't really have any non-grumble cocks to compare it to. I wonder if you go to the doctor's and tell them you are a bit worried about your cock  they get out a load of photos of cocks and ask you if it looks like any of these before you get your cock out. I'm not worried about it but it does look very odd to me, nothing I can put my finger on but doesn't look like the grumble cocks.

Have you seen the state of non-grumble fannies?

BlodwynPig

You arrive late to the event. Nerves jangling, beige pants restricting.

"Come on in, Michael" the host cheerily welcomes you.

"I'm afraid all the ladies are occupied, but please go to Room 2 where Soiled Sam is ready willing and able"

The true face of GOATSE is about to cast you into a unending pit of madness.

Uncle TechTip

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 01:51:41 PM
I think at 31 the chance of me finding this is very low. And I would rather never have sex for the rest of my life than pay money for it (Not being judgemental of those who do pay money for it).

I agree that I don't want to be watched by a load of highly experienced people, so I suppose an orgy is out.

However, paying an "admin fee" for an orgy is acceptable?

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on July 13, 2017, 03:42:17 PM
I was offered a foursome one night back in the year 2000, but I was so ridiculously drunk I would have been unable perform so gently declined the offer. It is a decision I regret to this day.

I've mentioned this on CaB several times before, but one of my best mates' girlfriends wanted a threesome with one of her mates, and they were both gorgeous, but my mate refused because he was worried they would end up preferring each other over him.  They split up a couple of months later anyway, and he's similarly regretted his refusal ever since.  He say that it's one of the worst decisions he's ever made to this day.

MoonDust

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on July 13, 2017, 03:46:37 PM
However, paying an "admin fee" for an orgy is acceptable?

I don't think it's the same thing. Paying someone for sex is all the money that person makes, which is pretty exploitative. Paying an admin fee for an orgy is just an admin fee. I imagine all the orgy-goers have non sex-work jobs.

biggytitbo

The admin fee is needed to cover all the paper work, permits and a mop and bucket.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on July 13, 2017, 03:46:37 PM
However, paying an "admin fee" for an orgy is acceptable?

I only described it as an admin fee cos I couldn't really think of anything else to call it.  As I said, you're not paying for the fucking, you're paying to cover costs of the venue, for any damage, etc.  It sounds like Quincey has a specific issue with paying for the sex, which is free - none of the members make any money for fucking each other.

(other orgy clubs may have different arrangements)

thenoise

Quote from: BlodwynPig on July 13, 2017, 03:45:54 PM
You arrive late to the event. Nerves jangling, beige pants restricting.
There's vomit on your sweater already. Mom's spaghetti.

Eight Taiwanese Teenagers

In all seriousness, even if I were to be invited to an orgy with lots of beautiful people and my wife didn't mind me going, I think I'd still be too nervous to enjoy myself. I think I'd need a strong and powerful woman to tell me what to do.

Edit: that's also true of my life in general and is the reason I'm married

Quincey


Quincey

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on July 13, 2017, 03:58:01 PM
I only described it as an admin fee cos I couldn't really think of anything else to call it.  As I said, you're not paying for the fucking, you're paying to cover costs of the venue, for any damage, etc.  It sounds like Quincey has a specific issue with paying for the sex, which is free - none of the members make any money for fucking each other.

(other orgy clubs may have different arrangements)

That's exactly how it is. I don't want to pay for a prostitute because what if they were trafficked or forced into doing it? Plus I don't want someone to have sex with me just for the money.

thenoise

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 04:02:05 PM
No. Never seen one.
Well there's a reason that fanny surgery is so popular these days, let's put it that way.

And there's a reason it's called 'bumping uglies'.  People's bits and bobs are all bit funny looking, and that's fine.  So learn to love your willy, it's the only one you've got (I presume).

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Quincey on July 13, 2017, 04:04:53 PM
That's exactly how it is. I don't want to pay for a prostitute because what if they were trafficked or forced into doing it? Plus I don't want someone to have sex with me just for the money.

Well, your professional escort won't be trafficked or forced - they either run the "business" themselves, or belong to a high class group run as properly and professionally as that sort of thing can be.  Hence why you're paying hundreds as opposed to tens for it.

And if you want sex with someone who loves you, again the orgies aren't your thing.  Whilst the odd relationship has taken off in my mate's group over the years, they're very few and far between.  No one who attends these things loves each other, and doesn't want to love each other, they just want no strings no fuss fucking.  Sounds to me like you want a bit more than that.

Also, quit comparing real life with grumble.  Even low-rent grumble is fantasy. 

Glebe

The whole idea is really unpleasant and depressing to me. Yikes.

New Jack

I think I'd rather find myself at a mass disorganised orgy, as long as I wasn't the one hosting it. Spontaneity is so romantic

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Glebe on July 13, 2017, 04:20:07 PM
The whole idea is really unpleasant and depressing to me. Yikes.

I can't say that it's ever going to be something I reflect back on and wish I said yes to.  Not my bag at all.  But, y'know, each to their own and that.