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March 29, 2024, 11:41:14 AM

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Rapes R Us

Started by dekionplexis, February 19, 2004, 12:50:14 AM

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dekionplexis

CUE: Amon Tobin - Apollo

Mim: Ahh, Mr Exhaust, please, take a seat..
MrE: Oh, ta, I'll take it with me, when I go like...
Mim: Eh?
MrE: The seat like, take it with us, when I go...
Mim: ................................?...Oh, of course, hahahahhahaha..Now, what can I do for thee this fine August evenin'?
MrE: Eh?
Mim:  WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!
MrE: Oh right, well, it's me wife like...
Mim: Your wife?
MrE: Yeah, I want her raped.
Mim: Ahhhhh, of course, well, here at 'Rapes R Us' we cater for all occasions, persuasions, and percussions. What, EXACTLY, are you after?
MrE: Oh, I dunno like, just a good raping really....
Mim: Hmmmm, I see...
Mr E: Is that ok like?
Mim: Ok? It's fan-cunting-tastic mate, the only thing is, here at 'Rapes R Us', we like to do things a little differently. As you may know, the raping industry is a highly competitive one, and if you don't keep up with the competition, well, you're 'fucked', as it were, ahahahha...
Mr E: Right,....well, what would you suggest like?
Mim: Well, let's see, bare with me a mo, I'll just log into the Rape database..., riiiiight, hmmmm..
Mr E: Is there a problem like?
Mim: Yes,...
Mr E: What is it?
Mim: I've just remembered I'm blind,....nevermind eh, lucky I commit these things to memory...
Mr E: ....
Mim: Have you thought about a theme?
Mr E: Well I, I thought maybe you could play 'She's Got That Vibe' by R Kelly like..
Mim: Errr, no, I meant, have you considered a themed rape, such as, oh I don't know, 'The Randy Burgular', or 'Naughty Timmy The Lost Youth' or perchance 'Enrico The Seductive Camel'?
Mr E: Oh,...I errr, dunno like...
Mim: If you just want a standard rape that's fine, that's fine, here at 'Rapes R Us', the only thing 'hard' are the cocks, and not 'the sell', do you like that?
Mr E: I, it's dead catchy like.
Mim: Yes, mother came up with it. Ok, so just the standard raping it is, ah, would you like a bit of buggery thrown in for good measure?
Mr E: Is it pricey like?
Mim: No, we usually do that for free...
Mr E: I, go on then.
Mim: Now, finally, for our data gathering database, which I'll commit to memory, because I'm blind, could you tell me why you want the ol' lady beaten, buggered and raped?
Mr E: Hold on, I never said beat her up like?
Mim: Erm, Mr Exhaust, she's going to be raped and buggered, I HARDLY think a wee kicking's going to matter...
Mr E: I, fair point. Well, it's our tenth anniversary like, and I thought I'd get her something special, you know, somethin' she'd remember.
Mim: Ah, of course, you romantic devil you, now, kindly fuck off would you..
Mr E: Oh I, ta, I'll take the seat now then....I...
Mim: Dozey cunt.

butnut

Next time a celebrity gets raped, just include them as one of the characters and submit it to Dead Ringers. I'm sure they'll use it.

Oh no - your sketch made me chuckle a bit - so it's totally unsuitable for the Ringers.

Pythov

Fuck off Dek.

Post a mong or an audio cut up if you want to be noticable.
Your prose is weak and uninventive, nothing you have said has any surpise, inventivness or merit.

'And were'nt you supposed to stick to one post?'

Take your alcohol influenced, boring posts elsewhere, or else smoke yourself dumb and forget about life.

Pyssoff.

Funky Gibbon

An old mong, but appropriate.




This image in no way implies that John Leslie was in fact guilty of rape, nor does it imply that  he has at any time run a garden centre. Sorry about the small text, but it's good for your eyes.

Neil

Can you not edit the text to make it that small please?  The drop down menu sets it to 9 which is perfectly readable but 7 is impossible.

Rats

Well aye enjoyed that. Well done Ian. Something she'd remember indeed :)

Funky Gibbon

Quote from: "Neil"Can you not edit the text to make it that small please?  The drop down menu sets it to 9 which is perfectly readable but 7 is impossible.

Ngh... Thankyou sir. May I have another?

Vermschneid Mehearties

QuoteMim: If you just want a standard rape that's fine, that's fine, here at 'Rapes R Us', the only thing 'hard' are the cocks, and not 'the sell', do you like that?

Wow. Dekion made me laugh.

*Why would you want to go and do a thing like tthat you fucking cunt?*

Uncle_Z

Quote from: "Pythov"Fuck off Dek.

You're just uptight because your filth score was so low.

imitationleather

So, we're complimenting dekionplexis now, are we?

Jesus, we'll be giving eachother HIV ferrarlarf next.

Dusty Gozongas

Quote from: "imitationleather"
Jesus, we'll be giving eachother HIV ferrarlarf next.

It's got to be fun. Sod the empty feeling afterwards.

Haha, the world has turned topsey turvey!

I honestly don't mind Dekion, what I find funny is the fact that the people who hate him so much are always responsible for keeping his threads at the top of this forum  for weeks on end.

no_offenc

Agreed, his posts used to be rather annoying but I've grown to actually be amused and slightly entertained by them.  I don't get VM's complaining, because this is Multimongia, a forum that's meant to promote CREATIVITY amongst the members of the board, isn't it?  And surely by saying "Oh no you can't post this or that" VM is becoming a total cunt?

Yeahheis.

Neil

Quote from: "no_offenc"I don't get VM's complaining, because this is Multimongia, a forum that's meant to promote CREATIVITY amongst the members of the board, isn't it?  And surely by saying "Oh no you can't post this or that" VM is becoming a total cunt?

Well, VM and I have had our spats in the past, but I really do have to take issue with that sir.  I think the word "becoming" is entirely superfluous.  Tee hee.  

VM really shouldn't be complaining about anyone else "flooding the board" when he's made about 150 posts more than his nearest rival in the top posters list.

Timmay

Quote from: "Neil"VM really shouldn't be complaining about anyone else "flooding the board" when he's made about 150 posts more than his nearest rival in the top posters list.
It really is quite a feat, I have to say. Over 500 now - that's nearly 30 a day. THIRTY A DAY.

Someone needs to tell him, quantity not quality. Dammit, quality, not quantity. I'm halfway there anyway.

Mister Six

Quote from: "dekionplexis"Mim: Well, let's see, bare with me a mo, I'll just log into the Rape database..., riiiiight, hmmmm..
Mr E: Is there a problem like?
Mim: Yes,...
Mr E: What is it?
Mim: I've just remembered I'm blind,....

That was the only thing that made me laugh. More surprising, quirky jokes, less "look, I wrote rape and cunt loll!" shit, please.

Bogey

I envisioned the voices as the doctor from Jam, and a Stott, from R&M.

Pinball

Dekion is a CaB terrorist - drops a thread then disappears until the next one! :-)

mr rou-rou

much like taking a shit and not flushing it

Vermschneid Mehearties

Quote from: "no_offenc"Agreed, his posts used to be rather annoying but I've grown to actually be amused and slightly entertained by them.  I don't get VM's complaining, because this is Multimongia, a forum that's meant to promote CREATIVITY amongst the members of the board, isn't it?  And surely by saying "Oh no you can't post this or that" VM is becoming a total cunt?

Yeahheis.

I've been on holiday this week so I've been at a loose end. Timmay's right, 30 a day is a lot, but then I'm not the one counting.

It's amusing how at the start, I was defending dekionplexis slightly, and now as I've grown gradually more tired of his work (as it's rather badly structured and always resembles something else he's done, not to mention coming across as a person who enjoys inflicting his brain splorge as if we care), and as that's happened, there's been people who have turned around from shouting abuse at him to actually defending him, saying they like his work.
It's almost as if people don't remember that he was seen as a troll, and people used to get flamed for replying to his posts, annoying people to the extent of Neil just editing his work to read "...". Considering he's doing exactly what he was doing in GD last year, in the less used MM, I think the word 'curious' doesn't even begin to describe this.

Yes, there's probably some excuse to counter that above paragraph, but there always is isn't there?

Uncle_Z

He was Bushelled for an attempt to bring down the site, which he says was not done with scripts but with various sulphates and a 48 hour refreshing session.  Also IIRC it was not Neil that ...'ed the posts cost he does not agree with that sort of thing.  One of the mystery mods was briefly admonished for the edits.

I think the broader tolerance is cos we have all grown as people ...er...

Leave him to it.  He may yet create something truly genius and then these brainfarts will be put together in a "collected letters" work and universally praised.

Vermschneid Mehearties

One of my friends entered a half-hour monologue of his own after many bottles of XXXX, and made me laugh louder than I have done for quite some time. Perhaps his work needs to be heard rather than seen.

On the subject though- I'm quite bemused that he was loudly slated and then ignored on GD, and now he does exactly the same thing in MM, and gets protected for it. I'm not trying to stop dekionplexis posting, and if anything, there was a role reversal when he posted on GD, because I didn't see as much of a problem with it as everyone else.