"Flippin' eck, lad. They've not even buried her yet!"

[imitationleather]

A while ago I was reading Amanda Platell's column in the Evening Standard. You know the one I mean, she's that Australian who used to be a Tory spin doctor. She's one of those people who I read just to angry up my blood (like Nemi in the Metro) because it often feels like she has been put on this planet just to say the exact opposite of everything I think.

Anyway, in this column she was talking about how Paul Merton had turned up to a party with a new girlfriend just a few months after his wife had died and that this was absolutely terrible. She also mentioned her sister (I think it was her sister, anyway) who was still single seven years after her husband had gone next door and that this was an example to us all.

Errr... Now hang on, that's not right is it? We're people, not seahorses and so obviously it's only natural that after our partner dies we will move on. I was talking to someone about this and they told me that apparently most men get a new partner within 18 months of suffering bereavement while women often wait longer. Does anyone know why this is?

I suppose this thread is just about how much I hate Amanda Platell. And oh gawd, I do. What made me most angry about the article was how she was preaching and poking her nose into something that had nothing to do with her. It was like she was saying, "No, Paul. You haven't mourned enough!"

But, to give this thread a bit more of a point; how long do you think someone should wait after their partner dies before going back into the dating game? Personally, I reckon everyone is different and so whatever someone feels is right for them is fine. It's certainly not for some idiot in a newspaper to decide in order to pad out her page of rightwing shite. Anyone disagree?

[Jemble Fred]

Christ. Who thought you could still feel sorry for Merton these days? He may have become a bit of a smug get, but that's a despicable thing to have written about you.

[Jaffa The Cake]

angry up my blood (like Nemi in the Metro)

Not wanting to de-rail this thread-boat. But what's wrong with Nemi? It's better than that cack Larson-but-not-funny rip-off.

[Purple Tentacle]

Everything is wrong with Nemi.

Not least her fucking advert for PETA last friday, because rats with cute wiggly noses are more important than curing cancer, aren't they.

GET A JOB YOU LAZY SLAG! And fucking grow up and stop talking about fairies and how life would be better if we all had fucking unicorns.

And every single man in Nemi is a mysoginist shit, like all men are.


It's the whole "Nemi is such a free spirit, she doesn't conform" message that is such patant bollocks that makes me deliciously angry every morning. I wouldn't miss it for anything.

[Morrisfan82]

There is a Viz pisstake of Carole Malone's column which addresses exactly this issue. Now, I know absolutely nothing of Carole Malone other than this satire of her Sunday Mirror column, but I have a fair idea of what she's seemingly like thanks to Viz's portrayal, ie. a complainant judgemental busybody. The column in question revolved around 'Carole' whingeing about how quickly MC Cartney hooked up with Heather Mills after Linda died, protesting that a period of at least five or six years of mourning should elapse in order to be respectful (paraphrased).

Anyone got a scan? It's very funny, and scarily applicable to what you wrote about Platell there.

[Jaffa The Cake]

her fucking advert for PETA

Fair point, that annoyed me too. Anyway, back to the point...

how long do you think someone should wait after their partner dies before going back into the dating game?

I think it's wrong to criticise anyone for the length of time between the death of a partner and re-dating, especially when you consider how many people start dating again when their partner is alive and well.

[Fran]

it all depends on who the new person is, right?
i have a feeling that the girlfriend mentioned about in this article was maybe the woman i saw a while ago in a show (merton produced it and stuff so he was also there, standing at the back) and i remember thinking how happy and in love he looked with her. it was blindingly obvious. (sorry, but i am a soppy romantic)
But it must be a bit wierd having it all so public, too- man tragically loses wife to illness, man HASTO be seen to be stunting his own life and happiness for as long as society deems it acceptable to, before he can "move on".
But what about people that are already in your life that come to the fore as being truly special? i reckon this woman was one of those (wont say her name in case the article was about someone else! lol), and it wasnt the fact of just meeting some chick in a bar.

hmm, thats what i think, anyway. i remember seeing them together and thinking: "good on ya". everyones different.

[Purple Tentacle]

I want Ms_T to be happy if I die early.

I just don't want her to be happy with some other fucker.   This uniquely selfish viewpoint got me a round of tutting last time I aired it, but since she feels the same way about me fucking someone else after HER death, you can all fack orf.

My point?  I wish people would keep their snouts out of other people's business, especially when they're getting paid to stick their snouts in in the first place.

[glitch]

Everything is wrong with Nemi.

But Nemi has crap in-jokes to do with bands like Coil!

(admittedly, apart from that, the strip is shit)

[Partridge's Love Child]

Paul Merton's wife died after a very long illness, which I would imagine makes it a little easier to come to terms with when they finally die I would imagine.  I guess you do part of the mourning when they're still alive, because you know it's going to happen, and when it does there's a certain amount of relief about it.  

I don't see how it's for someone else to prescribe your period of loss - whether it be because she'd died or she'd just left him for someone else.  The sour faced cowmudgeon [sic.].

I hate Plattel too.  And Nemi.  And Carol Malone.  And Max fucking fucking fucking fucking Clifford - not that he's got anything to do with this, I just wanted to express my extreme hatred for that fucking fucking fucking fucking fucker.  Again.

[Jemble Fred]

I'd never heard of Nemi, but a quick Google stells me that it's a Norwegian strip translated into English. So that may explain your problems with it – they do things differently there. Apparently Norwegian shoes are unbelievably expensive, frinstance.

Have they found 'The Scream' yet?

[Darrell]

Have they found 'The Scream' yet?

Genuine I-Sketch convo:
(the answer was 'scream', to which Munch's painting had been doodled as the clue)
LAZYHOUR: Did they ever find the painting?
BEN: In Allo Allo?

I keep endlessly quoting this but it's my favourite chatroom moment ever. Back to the topic in hand.

[Fran]

Have they found 'The Scream' yet?

Genuine I-Sketch convo:
(the answer was 'scream', to which Munch's painting had been doodled as the clue)
LAZYHOUR: Did they ever find the painting?
BEN: In Allo Allo?

I keep endlessly quoting this but it's my favourite chatroom moment ever. Back to the topic in hand.

LOL
Bless ya', Bennifer...

[Partridge's Love Child]

I once went out with a Norwegian.  She was a pain in the arse as well.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Have they found 'The Scream' yet?

It shows how much of a philistine I am that I thought you were talking about Bobby Gillespie and co.

[Partridge's Love Child]

I once went out with Phyllis Tyne etc. etc.

[Purple Tentacle]

It would have been more acceptable if Merton had gone out with a monoped..

[imitationleather]

Tsk. I read that and thought, "Why would Paul Merton go out with a means of conveyence? Are you trying to be funny, Tentacle?"

It's been a long week... And it's only sodding Tuesday!

[Partridge's Love Child]

Did anyone read that article in The Times magazine a few Saturdays ago about Heather Mills-McHoppalong?  Ms Partridge told me about it and I forgot to read it before sticking it in the recycle bin (yeah, right on sisters).  Apparently her supposed life story is just a whacking great pack of lies.

Then again, I guess she could be just pulling our legs (sorry, that just came to me half way through typing and I wish it hadn't.)

[TraceyQ]

Yup, I read that too. But then I got bored of trying to feel anything except extreme indifference toward a woman who will never have to do anything she doesnt want to again for the rest of her natural and had a look at the picture of The Dresden Dolls that was in the front of the Culture section instead.

[danielreal2k]

A while ago I was reading Amanda Platell's column in the Evening Standard. You know the one I mean, she's that Australian who used to be a Tory spin doctor. She's one of those people who I read just to angry up my blood.. etc

Ah I shouldn't worry most Australian women are annoying, feminist, lesbian dogs who look like men.

Paul is a nice chap, I'm sure they wouldn't of had a full on relationship just weeks after his wife, and even to suggest so is a bit insulting, my Auntie died and my Uncle was comforted by a close female friend at the time , just friends.

If Paul was happy . rathering than grieving over death good for him, sod the Australia bitch I say.

[DuncanC]

There is a Viz pisstake of Carole Malone's column which addresses exactly this issue. Now, I know absolutely nothing of Carole Malone other than this satire of her Sunday Mirror column, but I have a fair idea of what she's seemingly like thanks to Viz's portrayal, ie. a complainant judgemental busybody. The column in question revolved around 'Carole' whingeing about how quickly MC Cartney hooked up with Heather Mills after Linda died, protesting that a period of at least five or six years of mourning should elapse in order to be respectful (paraphrased).

Anyone got a scan? It's very funny, and scarily applicable to what you wrote about Platell there.

Thanks for reminding me about that, I don't have a scan but I do remember it as being brilliant. As I recall it ended with something like "You've let yourself down, you've let your fans down, but most of all you've let me - Carole Malone - down." (Or whatever name they used.)

[chand]

Yeah, Platell is one of those like the late Lynda Lee-Potter, who constantly took it upon herself to pass judgement on the travails of celebrity couples. The McCartney-Mills relationship got acres of that kind of press from these horribly parasitic columnists.

'Now, obviously I don't know anything about [man] and [woman]'s relationship, but I'm about to shoot my mouth off about it anyway so here goes...clearly [man]/[woman] [delete as appropriate] is at fault. Here's a picture of [man]/[woman] which somehow backs up my point about them being upset/being rather a cad/pretending to be in love but clearly the love has gone/showing off their goods to make the other jealous. But what of the children?'

[imitationleather]

Yep, Platell is pure evil. She even ruined Crisis Command: Could You Run the Country? (I think that's what it's called) by being the adviser whose sole purpose was to just give out bad advice.

"And I would've saved thousands of lives n'all if it wasn't for you damn meddling Australian."

[Captain Crunch]

The ilk:

Amanda Platell
Carole Malone
Jo Moore (god I hate that woman)
Nina Miscow?
Max Clifford
Ulrika Johnsson

Any more?

[Partridge's Love Child]

Max Clifford

I've just sprayed my screen.  

With bile.  

And blood from my fists.

[BetaKarraTene]

Amanda Platell is currently on Richard And Juddery talking about why Paul McCartney marrying Heather Mills is bad because "We were sold a dream marriage with Linda and this is a betrayl." Good grief!

[no_offenc]

All I need's a rifle and a way into the building, I'll sort the cunt out!

I fucking hate people who think they've got a right to comment on the morality of others, as if they're any fucking better dirtying peoples' names for a fucking living.  Oooh, I could spit.

[Captain Crunch]

Gah!  The one day day when I forget to set the video!!  Oh, erm I, er, tape it for the missus like...   <hiding and mumbling>

[Mister Cairo]

Platell also managed to perform a reverse ferrest after Paul Foot (one of my heroes) died by writing a sycophatic obituary piece. Ten years ago, she`d been in charge of the Mirror putsch under the Maxwell regime, forcing out Foot and Pilger.

That NS column of hers reads like its been written by a cross between a depressed hamster and Charles Clarke.