Nudidity & Nekkidness

[pancreas]

On holiday in Germany with friends. Saturday, go to thermal baths. Enforced nudity. See all of friends' foofs and johnsons, not to mention the heterogenous junk of the Germans.

Do you subscribe to the incorrect view that there is nothing to be ashamed of and you should just get nekkid, why not? The Ancient Greeks loved it, but then they also loved intercrural sex, didn't they.
How many of your friends' foofs and johnsons have you seen?
How many would you like to see? Is it all of them? All of the foofs and johnsons? Surely not. What about that friend of yours everyone calls 'Smelly Emery'?

[olliebean]

POIDH

[Buelligan]

It's a fine line to tread alright. 

In an ideal world, where no-one carried anything weird in the hard-wiring department, I'd completely love to sport my buff around town but it's not like that is it? 

No.  There are a lot of people, the more I study them, the more I realise it's true, who carry all sorts of inner roiling sweatiness and I should hate it to be a friend of mine and feel I'd unwittingly fed it, for how then can we sit, knee to knee and chat about recipes or brains without that cold primeval shark of knowledge poking its fin between us?  It's a difficult one that.

[imitationleather]

Fucking hate it. Keep that shit in mainland europe.

Makes me wish I'd voted for Brexit.

[Shit Good Nose]

I'm very self conscious about my body and small cock, so I don't even fucking go swimming in this country, let alone get my meat and spuds out for strangers who are doing the same.

Of course, I'd be more than happy to let a lovely lady take my place...[1]


[1]as long as I can sit there in lots of baggy clothes and watch, of course

[Small Man Big Horse]

Despite having a cock that is the king of shrinking I quite like public nudity, makes me feel free and at ease with the world. Due to being a fat sweaty bastard I only tend to go nude in the winter though. You have all been warned.

[BlodwynPig]

If anyone has seen Julia Davis' Camping and wants to know what a naked Pancreas looks like... I refer you to David Bamber's character

[BlodwynPig]

I briefly joined a table tennis club in Germany and after my failed trial I got showered and was getting dressed. One of the lanky Germans came over to tell me I was surplus to requirements. He was stark bollock naked and I was sitting down. I still remember being hypnotised by the pendulum motion of his balls in front of my eyes. Wish I'd had hold of my paddle

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Yeah we need to grow up and part of that is to stop pretending our own bodies are the contents of a locked room. This attitude fosters the body images issues, bullying and immaturity that is so normal in the UK as to be virtually organic. Yet there's absolutely no reason at all why anyone should feel embarrassed about their own body or anyone else's.

Horrible repressed society who even hide the repression behind a facade of bullshit about manners, decorum and Britishness.

The answer is I wouldn't have a problem with it. Even with my repressed British upbringing It's five seconds of fear followed by the mutual realisation everyone can now see everything so who cares.

The worst thing is it's the P.E dodgers and body image issue people who actually defend their own repression on this particular issue, defending the conditions that led to their condition.

[thenoise]

I can't even cope with the level of sexiness on display on an English summer's day.  I would barely be able to contain myself if I was also treated to the sight of unclothed nips and fluffy bits.  Probably crash my car, and I doubt they would be prepared to pay for the damage!  The little minxes *sulks*

[shiftwork2]

Put it away. I have a longstanding beef with nobbly men walking around gym changing rooms without a towel.  Their wives probably flinch from the hairy distended wrinkly horrorshow so why should we have to see it?  Also, massive crossover with the type of man who uses the communal hairdryer on his twig and berries.

[zomgmouse]

Wouldn't it be great if we as a society could stop worrying about presentation and codified images of ourselves and had no complexes about our bodies and everyone just walked around wearing nothing at all? Except for socks, because feet are ugly.

[Norton Canes]

On holiday in Germany with friends. Saturday, go to thermal baths. Enforced nudity. See all of friends' foofs and johnsons, not to mention the heterogenous junk of the Germans

So wait, hang on... in Germany, you have to be naked to go in the thermal baths? You can't wear a little pair of trunks, and some mammary hammocks?

Went to the Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik once, the pre-lagoon showers were communal and there were people of all genders naked there, but reproductive organs had to be under wraps once you hit the main pool.

Don't tell me all Germans are happy to flaunt their sexy sections?

[TheManOne]

Someone at work suggested arranging a naked yoga session for team bonding.
She's leaving.

[Norton Canes]

Some twat at the place I used to work was keen on putting us forward for that Naked Office show, was it Channel 5?

[thenoise]

It's all very well for women, isn't it?  Nobody has any idea whether they are aroused or not, even when you are fucking them staring right at them.  What happens if you get an erection?  Do you point it out and laugh it off, or do you just pretend it hasn't happened and hope nobody notices?

I ask because Stephen 'Stiffy' Smith got an erection in the PE showers in year 10, and he NEVER lived it down.

[Neville Chamberlain]

So wait, hang on... in Germany, you have to be naked to go in the thermal baths? You can't wear a little pair of trunks, and some mammary hammocks?

Went to the Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik once, the pre-lagoon showers were communal and there were people of all genders naked there, but reproductive organs had to be under wraps once you hit the main pool.

Don't tell me all Germans are happy to flaunt their sexy sections?

I've started regularly visiting a thermal bath in Berlin and the rules is that trunks are mandatory in the relaxation pool, forbidden in the saunas / steam rooms and optional everywhere else, "everywhere else" being the in-between areas where you can relax on the loungers indoors and outdoors and read and have a drink and what-not. Once I've been in the relaxation pool, I generally take everything off and walk around with a towel around me, which is what the vast majority of visitors seem to do.

[Keebleman]

I once had a live-in landlord who was a naturist.  He did warn me before I moved in and I, as I liked to think of myself as Mr Broadminded, said it wouldn't be a problem.  But it was a problem, a pretty small problem but a problem nonetheless.

[Bazooka]

I have no problem showing my nude biceps or knees, but never my glow worm.

[Lemming]

I would have liked to have been born into a society where everyone's naked all the time and nobody gives a shit. However, in this society, I must drape a complex network of thick cloaks, cowls and robes over myself before going outdoors so that none may see the seeping rolls of cellulite-ridden fat that compose my entire body.

If our society ever starts moving towards a more mature and uninhibited view towards nudity, though, I'll be the first to get my cock out on the bus.

[LanceUppercut]

]Just make sure you don't get a little stiffy.

[Glebe]

Obese Germans. No shame.

[Janie Jones]

Yeah we need to grow up and part of that is to stop pretending our own bodies are the contents of a locked room. This attitude fosters the body images issues, bullying and immaturity that is so normal in the UK as to be virtually organic. Yet there's absolutely no reason at all why anyone should feel embarrassed about their own body...

Oh, isn't there? Oh great, thanks for that. But hang on - The porn industry of which you and other people on here are an enthusiastic supporter ... do you see much body hair there? Lop sided tits, flabby arses, wonky labia? These are the sorts of things you and others might know your real life sexual partners are a bit insecure about. You should tell the silly billies it's 'no reason at all [to be] embarrassed,' and that the images you fap away over in your wankpit are just unobtainable fantasy that don't have any effect on your real life interactions. These previously insecure and embarrassed people would then  feel so much better then about discarding their kit in front of strangers.

[Norton Canes]

Lop sided tits, flabby arses, wonky labia?

Three of my favourite publications

[Janie Jones]

^ virtual karma for Canes

It's hard to avoid 'naturist' beaches in the part of Andalusia where I regularly go - happily, nudism is not compulsory and I'm in my beach burka. But I see an awful lot of naked Europeans and have noticed that pubic hair is a big taboo, everyone is shaved and waxed. Even old people. Considering it's all about being 'natural', it's interesting to me that they have all undergone the inconvenience of making sure their bodies don't retain this particular natural feature

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oh, isn't there? Oh great, thanks for that. But hang on - The porn industry of which you and other people on here are an enthusiastic supporter ... do you see much body hair there? Lop sided tits, flabby arses, wonky labia? These are the sorts of things you and others might know your real life sexual partners are a bit insecure about. You should tell the silly billies it's 'no reason at all [to be] embarrassed,' and that the images you fap away over in your wankpit are just unobtainable fantasy that don't have any effect on your real life interactions. These previously insecure and embarrassed people would then  feel so much better then about discarding their kit in front of strangers.

Porn? Tried the amateur section ever? I mean this is a bizarre counter-intuitive angle of attack, it's precisely searching for porn that exposes you to dodgy hair/flaps/sag. Indeed probably that which helped my understanding of the variety of shapes and sizes of humans and normalised it, when I was growing up in lieu of a society doing that already. It was British society and schooling where bodies I grew up around were shamed and repressed. I'm far more at ease with my own body and other people's since seeing lots of them, as you'd expect.

[Janie Jones]

I briefly joined a table tennis club in Germany and after my failed trial I got showered and was getting dressed. One of the lanky Germans came over to tell me I was surplus to requirements. He was stark bollock naked and I was sitting down. I still remember being hypnotised by the pendulum motion of his balls in front of my eyes. Wish I'd had hold of my paddle

Ha, on the nudist beach I mentioned above, i was sitting minding my own business when the wind got up and a sudden sneaky wave rushed up the beach. Alerted by an anguished cry, I realised it was going to swamp the belongings of the young naked German man who had been sitting near me and was now racing up the beach, massive cock slapping from thigh to thigh (yes, there aren't many small or average willies in the naturist community), frantically trying to reach his phone and camera before the waves. I was closer to them than him so I scrambled sideways and grabbed the phone and camera and held them aloft just as, unable to stop himself because he was running so fast, he bowled straight into me, his cock literally in my face as the rogue wave splashed around us. Hilarity ensued. Actually it didn't. We were both horribly embarrassed.

[Janie Jones]

... dodgy hair/flaps/sag...

See that perjorative word there? You just can't help it. Body hair and wonky bits aren't 'dodgy', Shoulders. They are natural and normal and it's people like you thinking such things are 'dodgy' that has people, especially girls and women, all over our society made miserable by their perfectly natural normal bodies.

[pancreas]

^^ alternative reading: you spotted a chance to nick off with someone's phone and got penis-whipped as punishment for the attempted larceny. What's more, you knew this would happen and brazenly courted your punishment.

[Buelligan]

Porn? Tried the amateur section ever? I mean this is a bizarre counter-intuitive angle of attack, it's precisely searching for porn that exposes you to dodgy hair/flaps/sag. Indeed probably that which helped my understanding of the variety of shapes and sizes of humans and normalised it, when I was growing up in lieu of a society doing that already. It was British society and schooling where bodies I grew up around were shamed and repressed. I'm far more at ease with my own body and other people's since seeing lots of them, as you'd expect.

Hm.  I'm not sure about all of this, if we're actually being nakedly honest today.  I think an awful lot of people, male and female, suffer terribly because of the attitudes (real or imagined) of others toward bodily "imperfections". 

Body fascism is surprisingly popular and acceptable, for example, this is an online message board, FWIW we could all just be brains in jars but people attempt to insult each other, not just in fun, over physical characteristics even here. 

Do not pretend that everyone or even most people are equally accepting of their fellows regardless of appearance, it simply isn't true and I would agree with Janie that the porn industry carries its share of blame for that, rather ugly, part of our culture.

This post is dedicated to Chas, the only human.