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Ready Player One (2018, Steven Spielberg)

Started by Small Man Big Horse, July 25, 2017, 05:27:51 PM

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Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: worldsgreatestsinner on July 26, 2017, 07:44:36 PM
A Youtube reading of an Ernest Cline poem called Nerd Porn Auteur.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSKBkahjtOc&feature=youtu.be

It's every bit as bad as the title suggests. Also, obviously it's NSFW and there's a chance you might want to go on a killing spree after hearing it.

If you really want a toe-curlingly cringey short story I'd suggest When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth. It actually made me feel a little ill.

https://craphound.com/overclocked/Cory_Doctorow_-_Overclocked_-_When_Sysadmins_Ruled_the_Earth.html

Twed

Quote from: worldsgreatestsinner on July 26, 2017, 07:44:36 PM
A Youtube reading of an Ernest Cline poem called Nerd Porn Auteur.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSKBkahjtOc&feature=youtu.be

It's every bit as bad as the title suggests. Also, obviously it's NSFW and there's a chance you might want to go on a killing spree after hearing it.
I really fucking hate that. Ugh, the horrible prick writing it and people who are fans of this, genuinely thinking that they're supporting feminism by being incredibly misogynistic pieces of shit. Horrible, horrible.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

It seems like Edgar Wright would have been a more fitting choice to direct.

Way too much expository voiceover in that trailer. I know that's not always a sign of a bad film, but it doesn't fill me with confidence.

The best thing about it is that the combination of Rush, '80s references and video games makes me think of this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q-J-2-QL6I

Shaky

This thing is going to flop, surely? Spielberg's off the boil these days, his name doesn't have guaranteed draw anymore and the book came out six years ago - a long time for such a piece of ephemera.

BritishHobo

#34
I spent years thinking this book was supposed to be an agreed modern classic, because I always saw it discussed online alongside stuff like Infinite Jest, Gravity's Rainbow, and the like. I thought it was meant to be this big, tough, postmodern tome, the Ulysses of the 21st century... and then this film was announced, and I started reading up on it, and... huh? It is literally just Twilight for nerds. It's kind of funny to me, the way something like this has been glorified while Twilight and The Big Bang Theory are scorned and ridiculed.

I came here to post that nerd girl porn poem thing because fuck me, I've seen it a lot the past few days, and I think it's everything I hate about the internet. Ditto for that shitty, reference-stuffed page of dialogue posted earlier in the thread, literally just namechecking all the most obvious nerd-cred literature and comedy. Don't get me wrong, Douglas Adams and Monty Python are incredible, but when you get nerds online acting like they're the definitive end of comedy, it makes me feel like I'm trapped in the tiniest, most claustrophobic space imaginable.

The only thing that fucking page of dialogue would need in order to be more accurate to reddit nerd-cred bullshit would be for the guy to namecheck Ready Player One alongside the other novels and authors.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Twed on July 26, 2017, 11:55:37 PM
I really fucking hate that. Ugh, the horrible prick writing it and people who are fans of this, genuinely thinking that they're supporting feminism by being incredibly misogynistic pieces of shit. Horrible, horrible.

That poem is ghastly. It's so creepy and sexist, yet spewing with its own misplaced sense of righteous nerd liberalism.

I hate humans.

Bad Ambassador


BritishHobo

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on July 27, 2017, 04:29:54 PM
That poem is ghastly. It's so creepy and sexist, yet spewing with its own misplaced sense of righteous nerd liberalism.

I hate humans.

The idea that not-typically-attractive girls and girls who don't fit in should feel honoured because some creepy guy says him and loads and loads and loads of other dudes would wank over them thousands of times, that actually they do have value because they turn him on, is so insane that it boggles my mind to think a successful and celebrated author with a movie deal genuinely believes it's progressive and uplifting. What the FUCK.


biggytitbo

Spielberg should go back to what he does best, like directing episodes of Columbo.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Twed on July 25, 2017, 11:59:55 PM
https://twitter.com/donniemnemonic/status/889215615717605376

I've not heard of this book (or film) before but, fuck me, is that an excerpt? Not a load of excerpts jammed together to demonstrate the total shiteness?

Twed


touchingcloth

What a crock of shite. I can't stand that style of writing, the only sentences longer than about seven words are just lists of references.


newbridge

Is this some type of alien experiment where an author of internet webcomics was forcibly placed in a university creative writing program?

I find the whole thing fascinatingly awful.

The guy actually bought himself this fucking car.

http://www.ernestcline.com/ecto88/

Chairman Yang

OK, but is "I was on the verge of completely abandoning my quest for the egg when..." not the greatest clause in the history of English literature?

mobias

Looks like yet another film that would be far better just being a computer game.

Twed

Quote from: worldsgreatestsinner on July 27, 2017, 09:54:10 PM
The guy actually bought himself this fucking car.

http://www.ernestcline.com/ecto88/
The 45 year old guy actually bought himself this fucking car.

Bad Ambassador

Given that Halliday is being played by Sir Mark Rylance, imagine him reading that gibberish about how geeks are best and wanking makes you like Einstein.

hewantstolurkatad

My biggest problem with things like Ready Player One is the amount of people who think I'd like it. The people I know who like it a lot have been pretty on point with giving reasons why they thought I wouldn't like it, to be fair. It's usually borderline strangers or people who seem to think I'm a total loser who suggest it to me.


Now, as awful as that trailer looks, I'm gonna make a pretty huge exception on the basis that it's a trailer for Comic Con. Everything at that event is shit for cunts.
I definitely wouldn't rule out Spielberg for being able to pull this thing off, not gonna be anywhere near his best films, seems almost destined for a critical drubbing, but I still think it could be pretty fun. If this thing owns itself in a way that the prose very clearly doesn't , it could be okay.

Mango Chimes

Quote from: BritishHobo on July 27, 2017, 04:21:22 PMIt is literally just Twilight for nerds.

Fifty Shades Of Grey for nerds, more like.  Is this book that people are quoting actually thought of as good, or is it a FSOG thing where it became briefly popular due to people enjoying its shitness?


Catalogue Trousers

#53
Holy shit.

Quote"I had two hundred days of uptime on Greedo," Van said. Greedo was the oldest server in the rack, from the days when they'd named the boxes after Star Wars characters. Now they were all named after Smurfs, and they were running out of Smurfs and had started in on McDonaldland characters, starting with Van's laptop, Mayor McCheese.

EQUALITY

QuoteFelix had to admit she had a point. Queen Kong was sharp. Not many woman sysadmins, and that was a genuine tragedy. Women like Queen Kong were too good to exclude from the field. He'd have to hack a solution to get women balanced out in his new government. Require each region to elect one woman and one man?

THE EDGE THE EDGE THE SHEER FUCKING EDGE

QuoteHe got a couple more energy bars and a gigantic cup of vanilla coffee

CAN YOU FEEL THE FUCKIN EDGE

QuoteFuckrag was the epithet that some of the sysadmins were using to describe the contingent that wanted to shut down the Internet. Queen Kong had coined it—apparently it had started life as a catch-all term to describe the clueless IT managers that she'd chewed up through her career.

Yeah, Doctorow may well be worse than Cline.

newbridge

QuoteFelix had to admit she had a point. Queen Kong was sharp. Not many woman sysadmins, and that was a genuine tragedy. Women like Queen Kong were too good to exclude from the field. He'd have to hack a solution to get women balanced out in his new government. Require each region to elect one woman and one man?

His editor definitely changed this to "woman/women" from "female/females"

Mango Chimes

I had grabbed the crystal, but was still locked in this Aztec Zone cell.  I approached the doors, pulling then pushing them to open.  "To me, to you."  I had learned this technique from the Chuckle Brothers.  It worked!  Light came pouring through from outside, almost blinding me, like I was a Mogwai.  I quickly put on my horned Adventurers Helmet that Treguard from Knightmare had given me earlier.  I was hungry, but luckily Bodger and Badger had given me some mash potato earlier that I put in my knapsack.  In front of me was Loch Ness, where surely I would find the Family Ness.  But I had to be quick because I knew I was being chased by John Leslie from that programme that was called Scavengers or something?  Jimboooo!

Gwen Taylor on ITV

Burst out laughing at that.

I would also like to hear about what Noddy is up to in this world you are building.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Twed on July 27, 2017, 10:16:15 PM
The 45 year old guy actually bought himself this fucking car.

Yesterday I watched Atari: Game Over, the documentary about the fabled dumping of millions of copies of E.T. for the 2600 into landfill. I was surprised to see this doofus make an appearance as a celebrity nerd, undertaking "the most fucking epic road trip ever" where he bought a DeLorean, drove it to collect a life sized inflatable model of E.T., another stop to meet a bearded man dressed as a Victorian railway operative who turned out to be the writer of Game of Thrones, and finished up by visiting the landfill to witness the potential excavation of the buried cartridges, air guitaring his way through some shitty post-hair-metal the entire time he sat in the driver's seat. I'd like to think he made a final top to redeem himself by dropping the inflatable off at the Diana Memorial, but I doubt it.

touchingcloth

And one thing I will say for those Doctorow excerpts, he has captured the unwarranted sense of self importance of the sysadmin and self-described nerd to an absolute tee.

Phil_A

Quote from: touchingcloth on July 30, 2017, 02:00:20 PM
Yesterday I watched Atari: Game Over, the documentary about the fabled dumping of millions of copies of E.T. for the 2600 into landfill. I was surprised to see this doofus make an appearance as a celebrity nerd, undertaking "the most fucking epic road trip ever" where he bought a DeLorean, drove it to collect a life sized inflatable model of E.T., another stop to meet a bearded man dressed as a Victorian railway operative who turned out to be the writer of Game of Thrones, and finished up by visiting the landfill to witness the potential excavation of the buried cartridges, air guitaring his way through some shitty post-hair-metal the entire time he sat in the driver's seat. I'd like to think he made a final top to redeem himself by dropping the inflatable off at the Diana Memorial, but I doubt it.

Oh wait, he's that guy? The DeLorean driving prick? Well, that explains a lot.