Author Topic: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson  (Read 3350 times)

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« on: July 29, 2017, 01:53:48 PM »
1. Tuts at a woman in a niqab and really hopes she heard it.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2017, 02:16:59 PM »
2. Fundamentally misunderstands the core-concept of an Empire.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2017, 06:32:54 PM »
7. Successfully campaigns to rid the world of the number 3, the most snowflakey number.

JoeyBananaduck

  • Blame It On Mom
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2017, 06:44:10 PM »
8. Contact the 3 people who bought one of the shit t-shirts of his fizzog to affirm that said fizzog has triggered libtards as promised.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2017, 09:24:49 PM »
9. Look in the mirror and see the shred of vulnerability and shame lodged deep in the recesses of his haunted green eyes. Scream "NO!", and slap himself repeatedly, hard, on the jaw. Start grinning into the mirror as blood starts to colour his lips, the gaps in his teeth flowering crimson. "TRIGGERED?", he growls to himself, his face rigid, eyes ablaze, and hot tears now clinging to his chin.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2017, 09:34:19 PM »
10. Cheer himself up by having a big wank to the last 15 minutes of Taxi Driver.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #7 on: July 29, 2017, 11:16:01 PM »
11. Hires an armoured car to drive through the ISIS-controlled battleground of Swedish city Malmö

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2017, 07:54:35 AM »
10. Gets annoyed at the man serving at the counter in Tesco because he is from Pakistan, while purchasing Tesco beer for dinner.

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2017, 12:53:13 PM »
13. Sends Alex Jones a lovely birthday card from Card Factory but forgets to remove the '49p' sticker from the front.
« Last Edit: July 30, 2017, 01:08:53 PM by Vodka Margarine »

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2017, 02:25:57 PM »
7. Successfully campaigns to rid the world of the number 3, the most snowflakey number.

De La Soul said to be 'not impressed'.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2017, 04:44:53 PM »
Spends £150 on 4 tyres from kwik fit and sets fire to them as a 'fuck you' to climate change. Gets treated on the NHS for smoke inhalation. Learns nothing.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2017, 07:47:45 PM »
15. Wishes the Fimbles were real so he could blast them with uncle's blunderbuss.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2017, 11:09:56 PM »
16. Spends an evening heaving into his waste paper bin after having too much sushi and milk. He contemplates uploading a picture of his vomited in bin, 'This'll really trigger them' he muses.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2017, 11:15:20 PM »
17. Watches several thousand unsold t-shirts with his face on being shipped off to a landfill site

18. Copes with the shame and regret of the above incident by uploading a photo of the landfill site and insisting that environmentalist snowflakes are being triggered

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs


Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2017, 07:31:48 PM »
21. Genuinely 'imagines my shock' in a way that makes him irreparably, soul-scarringly haunted for the rest of his life.

Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2017, 08:48:47 PM »
.

The attentive among you will realize there was a reply here intended for the Clowne car thread.

Benevolent Despot

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • It's a douche for the soul
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2017, 08:59:34 PM »
22. Films some sheep to illustrate that we are sheep.

newbridge

  • Endless Summer of George
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2017, 11:56:49 PM »
23. Gets in a fist fight with Sea Shepherd captain Paul Franklin Watson. Loses horrendously.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2017, 01:44:15 AM »
23. Gets in a fist fight with Sea Shepherd captain Paul Franklin Watson. Loses horrendously.

24. Repeatedly and obsessively posts on twitter about how he won the fight, and then makes a video about how whales deserve to die because they're essentially just cuck sharks.

Glebe

  • So here we are, then.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2017, 03:08:08 AM »
23. Straps Jeremy Corbyn to a table and rams a giant pineapple chuck up his jacksie.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2017, 04:00:47 AM »
24. Climbs Mount Everest









































never to return.

Repeater

  • (Don't) Call Me Peter
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2017, 08:45:03 AM »
:)

spamwangler

  • fay bentos
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2017, 09:06:11 AM »
25. Reads some Henry Miller on a bus. I feel like Tyler Durden!

26. Googles "how to stop looking moist" "skin always looks wet" and "how to stop looking sticky" at 7:30 in the morning
« Last Edit: August 02, 2017, 09:25:06 AM by spamwangler »

spamwangler

  • fay bentos
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2017, 09:26:14 AM »
27. Screams at a nephew for messing with his airsoft collection


Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2017, 06:13:32 PM »
28. Strides into his favourite local Morrison's store (Tesco, Shitsbury's and Co-Op are Cuck Stores) to discover that his beloved Lucozade Energy Pink Lemonade, the only truly red-pilled drink, has been relocated from one end of the store to another. He makes two videos that evening about how "postmodernists" have "turned the world on it's head"

29. Believes that his testosterone levels, or "T levels", may have been lowered by chemtrails. He embarks on a week-long no-masturbating, protein-only regime to boost his T levels, but fails after 5 hours

30. Has a two-hour argument with an imaginary feminist in his head, scowling the entire time. Despite the fact that he created his opponent as a strawman for him to destroy, he begins to lose the argument. He worries that his T levels may be compromised

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2017, 06:32:10 PM »
very good Lemming!

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #29 on: August 11, 2017, 01:18:38 PM »
29. Gets increasingly more angry that any attempt to 'trigger' Chelsea Manning is met with "😢🌈". Goes on a big long rant how that means Chelsea is triggered actually. Chelsea responds with "😢🌈".