Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 01:07:39 PM

Login with username, password and session length

The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson

Started by Vodka Margarine, July 29, 2017, 01:53:48 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Vodka Margarine

1. Tuts at a woman in a niqab and really hopes she heard it.

Sebastian Cobb

2. Fundamentally misunderstands the core-concept of an Empire.


Vodka Margarine

7. Successfully campaigns to rid the world of the number 3, the most snowflakey number.

JoeyBananaduck

8. Contact the 3 people who bought one of the shit t-shirts of his fizzog to affirm that said fizzog has triggered libtards as promised.

9. Look in the mirror and see the shred of vulnerability and shame lodged deep in the recesses of his haunted green eyes. Scream "NO!", and slap himself repeatedly, hard, on the jaw. Start grinning into the mirror as blood starts to colour his lips, the gaps in his teeth flowering crimson. "TRIGGERED?", he growls to himself, his face rigid, eyes ablaze, and hot tears now clinging to his chin.

10. Cheer himself up by having a big wank to the last 15 minutes of Taxi Driver.

Lemming

11. Hires an armoured car to drive through the ISIS-controlled battleground of Swedish city Malmö

Glebe

10. Gets annoyed at the man serving at the counter in Tesco because he is from Pakistan, while purchasing Tesco beer for dinner.

Vodka Margarine

#9
13. Sends Alex Jones a lovely birthday card from Card Factory but forgets to remove the '49p' sticker from the front.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Vodka Margarine on July 29, 2017, 06:32:54 PM
7. Successfully campaigns to rid the world of the number 3, the most snowflakey number.

De La Soul said to be 'not impressed'.

Sebastian Cobb

Spends £150 on 4 tyres from kwik fit and sets fire to them as a 'fuck you' to climate change. Gets treated on the NHS for smoke inhalation. Learns nothing.

Glebe

15. Wishes the Fimbles were real so he could blast them with uncle's blunderbuss.

16. Spends an evening heaving into his waste paper bin after having too much sushi and milk. He contemplates uploading a picture of his vomited in bin, 'This'll really trigger them' he muses.

Lemming

17. Watches several thousand unsold t-shirts with his face on being shipped off to a landfill site

18. Copes with the shame and regret of the above incident by uploading a photo of the landfill site and insisting that environmentalist snowflakes are being triggered



21. Genuinely 'imagines my shock' in a way that makes him irreparably, soul-scarringly haunted for the rest of his life.

Norton Canes

.

The attentive among you will realize there was a reply here intended for the Clowne car thread.

Benevolent Despot

22. Films some sheep to illustrate that we are sheep.

newbridge

23. Gets in a fist fight with Sea Shepherd captain Paul Franklin Watson. Loses horrendously.

Quote from: newbridge on August 01, 2017, 11:56:49 PM
23. Gets in a fist fight with Sea Shepherd captain Paul Franklin Watson. Loses horrendously.

24. Repeatedly and obsessively posts on twitter about how he won the fight, and then makes a video about how whales deserve to die because they're essentially just cuck sharks.

Glebe

23. Straps Jeremy Corbyn to a table and rams a giant pineapple chuck up his jacksie.

marquis_de_sad

24. Climbs Mount Everest









































never to return.


spamwangler

#25
25. Reads some Henry Miller on a bus. I feel like Tyler Durden!

26. Googles "how to stop looking moist" "skin always looks wet" and "how to stop looking sticky" at 7:30 in the morning

spamwangler

27. Screams at a nephew for messing with his airsoft collection


Lemming

28. Strides into his favourite local Morrison's store (Tesco, Shitsbury's and Co-Op are Cuck Stores) to discover that his beloved Lucozade Energy Pink Lemonade, the only truly red-pilled drink, has been relocated from one end of the store to another. He makes two videos that evening about how "postmodernists" have "turned the world on it's head"

29. Believes that his testosterone levels, or "T levels", may have been lowered by chemtrails. He embarks on a week-long no-masturbating, protein-only regime to boost his T levels, but fails after 5 hours

30. Has a two-hour argument with an imaginary feminist in his head, scowling the entire time. Despite the fact that he created his opponent as a strawman for him to destroy, he begins to lose the argument. He worries that his T levels may be compromised


Sebastian Cobb

29. Gets increasingly more angry that any attempt to 'trigger' Chelsea Manning is met with "😢🌈". Goes on a big long rant how that means Chelsea is triggered actually. Chelsea responds with "😢🌈".