Author Topic: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson  (Read 3517 times)

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #30 on: August 11, 2017, 04:15:24 PM »
28. Emails Alex Jones to check that there's no gay chemicals used in his protein shakes. Jones replies that he cannot be 100% sure, but he'll throw in a packet of Oreos if he orders NOW!

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #31 on: August 17, 2017, 12:02:23 AM »
29. PJW attempts to pronounce words in his native Sheffield accent rather than saying 'Youtoob' and 'An-tie Trump' in an attempt to appeal to an American audience.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #32 on: August 17, 2017, 12:17:57 AM »
30. Quite forcefully attempts to insist via his YouTube channel that living in the box room of his mum's semi-detached is NOT the UK equivalent of living in one's mom's basement.

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #33 on: August 17, 2017, 01:39:21 PM »
31. With shaking hands, PJW barely manages to type up his account of seeing a young, attractive woman with blue and pink hair breastfeed her baby in the town centre. The baby was a different colour to the mum and fucking hell he just had to get out of there.

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #34 on: August 19, 2017, 04:33:56 AM »
32. Wakes, up, stretches and yells "Morning, snowflakes!" out the window.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #35 on: August 19, 2017, 11:38:45 AM »
33. Mows down a load of prostitutes on GTA then has a 10 minute wank. He loves busy days like this!

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #36 on: August 19, 2017, 11:48:32 AM »
33. Mows down a load of prostitutes on GTA then has a 10 minute wank. He loves busy days like this!

34. Does it for real.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #37 on: August 19, 2017, 01:48:35 PM »

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #38 on: August 19, 2017, 02:16:14 PM »
35. Attempts to mimic Katie Hopkins' attention seeking TV show about weight gain by beginning the sex change process to make a point how TS women make more sense than real ones.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #39 on: August 19, 2017, 02:20:39 PM »
36. Voids his bowels upon attempting to access his own Twitter page and being sent to a dead link. Believing that he has been banned, he records an unscripted 29 minute video about how Twitter is censoring free speech and no-platforming him because they're scared of his radical ideas. This video file is sheepishly deleted when he realises he just made a typo when entering his own username in the URL bar


Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #40 on: August 19, 2017, 02:26:16 PM »
37. As the effects of three consecutive sleepless days of being barricaded in his room and arguing with people on Twitter begin to chip away at his sanity, Paul fears that his pet dog may be secretly harbouring antifa sympathies

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #41 on: August 19, 2017, 02:45:12 PM »
38. Tries to crack on to Milo. "Dahling, I wouldn't be seen dead with a northern cock".

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #42 on: August 19, 2017, 10:45:32 PM »

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #43 on: August 20, 2017, 12:21:02 AM »
39. Following a complaint that his bellowing "WAKE UP SHEEPLE!" during the late-night recording of a video blog caused offence and disturbance of sleep, PJW has to write an abashed letter of apology to his next-door neighbour, a Mr. Gordon Sheeple.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #44 on: August 20, 2017, 03:00:34 PM »
40. Inadvertently embarks on an impromptu vision quest when his InfoWars Alex Jones DNA Force Pills are replaced with pure MDMA due to a fuck-up at the bottling factory. He hallucinates a transgender Muslim Marxist hacking into his Xbox One camera to look at his penis and screams

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #45 on: August 20, 2017, 03:52:10 PM »
^ Fucking ace.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #46 on: August 20, 2017, 11:19:33 PM »
Lemming is really bringing it in this thread.

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #47 on: August 21, 2017, 06:50:07 AM »
41. Repeatedly updates Gary Lineker's Wikipedia article to say he learned to admire Japanese attitudes towards racial purity while playing for Grampus 8.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #48 on: August 21, 2017, 02:47:14 PM »
42. Puts his reputation in jeopardy when a Freudian slip causes him to accidentally refer to Alex Jones as "daddy", live on air. He successfully executes damage control and saves his reputation by spending one full week tweeting about how it was a joke to trigger feminists, and only idiots would take it seriously

43. Opens his drawer and sees the pack of cigarettes he bought months ago and took a single unlit cigarette from to pose with for his Twitter profile picture. He briefly flirts with the idea of actually trying a cigarette for real, but ultimately closes the drawer again after a moment of consideration

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #49 on: August 31, 2017, 12:24:52 AM »
44. Massively misunderstands what Orwell was all about.
https://twitter.com/PrisonPlanet/status/902129889339469824

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #50 on: September 01, 2017, 01:00:49 AM »
45. Starts a change.org petition to end the leftist toilet paper conspiracy. It's a symbol of whites' inability to preserve their own culture. Why is no one smearing black or brown tissue with shit?

JoeyBananaduck

  • Blame It On Mom
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #51 on: September 01, 2017, 11:20:52 AM »
46. Dramatically quit YouTube

47. Upload a YouTube video

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #52 on: September 01, 2017, 11:23:02 AM »
48. Leave his bedroom

49. RedPill an entire generation

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #53 on: September 01, 2017, 01:47:05 PM »
49. RedPill an entire generation

50. Get angry because in this new hellish world everyone is a better pua than him.

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #54 on: September 01, 2017, 04:16:19 PM »
51. Attempts to negotiate with Alex Jones to have his own name added to the PrisonPlanet logo , so that it reads "ALEX JONES' PRISON PLANET, IN COLLABORATION WITH PAUL JOSEPH WATSON". He instantly retracts this request when Alex Jones raises his voice at him

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #55 on: September 01, 2017, 06:10:08 PM »
52. Finally make that anti-islam vlog he's been meaning to make but putting off for ages. He won't be bullied by the PC Police anymore. He's finally going to stop biting his tongue on this. 

Lemming

  • I'm becoming the Fuhrer - the Fuhrer of laughs
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #56 on: September 13, 2017, 12:12:48 AM »
On an extremely slow news day, Paul forces out a completely nonsensical, half-hearted and inexplicable rant about Sonic Mania being a tool of the alt-left to further Islamic extremism, so that he may keep the YouTube ad revenue rolling in

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #57 on: September 13, 2017, 12:15:08 AM »
53. Be somewhat liked by me even though I do find his cadence to sometimes be a bit corny, his social media to be not much worse than any other political commentators is and his photos trying to look like Hicks/Hitchens to be totally cringeworthy

zomgmouse

  • I have party diarrhoea.
    • BEN VOLCHOK DOT COM
Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #58 on: September 13, 2017, 12:24:00 AM »
54. Mutual masturbation with Ian Miles Cheong

Re: The 100 epic tasks of Paul Joseph Watson
« Reply #59 on: September 13, 2017, 12:30:07 AM »
54. Mutual masturbation with Ian Miles Cheong

55. At the point of climax one of them inexplicably shouts out the N-word, and they spend days on twitter explaining why this was entirely forgivable because it occurred within 'a heated wanking moment'.