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Noel Edmonds is Unwell

Started by Ballad of Ballard Berkley, August 08, 2017, 07:23:47 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

The Bumlord

Quote from: Cuellar on November 13, 2018, 07:38:56 PM
Is there an unedited 24 hour feed? I want unfiltered Noel, not what some editor thinks I want.

Simply fly to Australia and hide up a tree.

buttgammon

I've never had the slightest interest in this programme before but will watch it religiously now. Maybe CaB members are the demographic they were going for with booking Edmonds?

Lemming

Fuck yes.

Can't wait for ITV to be added to Noel's shitlist for some perceived fuckup during filming.

Gradual Decline

#783
Please God, let one of the trials involve the shaving off of Noel's beard...



im barry bethel




Are you sure Neol are you really sure?

Noel has clearly looked at this page:

https://www.rajar.co.uk/listening/quarterly_listening.php

And not noticed that the figures are counted in 1,000's rather than as written.

NOEL: Look at this, Liz. BBC Radio Oxford only have 62 regular listeners. The rest of them are in the hundreds. Can you believe that? What a waste of the licence fee.

NOEL'S WIFE: That doesn't sound right. Let your lad have a look at it. He's better with numbers.

NOEL: Yeah, he gets that from his mother. What do you think, son?

BLOBBY: Blobby!

Cuellar

Haha! That's definitely what's happened isn't it? A cursory google showed even Radio 2 having hundreds of thousands of listeners.

Sort of makes you wonder if his beef with Lloyds is legitimate - did he just overlook a decimal point somewhere?

Small Man Big Horse

Chortle's just published an interesting article about how Noel offended some comedians once:

The day 'creepy' Noel Edmonds insulted a room full of comedians - How a Deal Or No Deal special turned acrimonious

Noel Edmonds's jungle-mates might expect some testy exchanges on  I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here!, if the experiences of comedians who took part in a special edition of Deal Or No Deal are anything to go by. Back in 2012, Channel 4 made a celebrity version of the show with Jimmy Carr as the contestant.

But – according to Nick Helm, one of the box-openers – Edmonds alienated the comics involved, mocking their jokes and teasing one for being overweight. Eventually that comedian had enough of Edmonds' attitude to him and his colleagues and raged to camera:  'All right Noel, we've had it with you - you are not a very nice guy and you have a real problem.' However, none of the host's provocations made it to air, making it look like an unjustified outburst.

The extent of the uncomfortable weirdness that pervaded the taping was revealed by Helm,   during the Fubar radio show he co-hosts with Nathaniel Metcalfe. 'Noel's been horrible to all of us at some point,' he told guest Lucy Porter as he recounted the day. 'It was jaw-dropping the things Noel was doing that he knew wouldn't make it on air, crazy stuff.' Explaining that most of the anecdotes would have to be kept for off-air, he said: 'Noel Edmonds was absolutely insane, he would say some of the most offensive stuff to us as guests.'

He especially revealed the discomfort of Jimmy Carr when the production team put up an image of Family Guy's hypersexual character Quagmire. 'Basically, the joke is that Jimmy Carr looks like Quagmire,' Helm continued. 'I don't know whether Jimmy Carr gets it a lot, he didn't really know how to react, he didn't want to lower himself to actually respond to the joke, 'Noel says, "The Banker seems to think you look a little bit like Quagmire"'.' Quoting the cartoon sex pest's catchphrase, Carr then 'turns round and says [deadpan], "just tell The Banker: "giggedy, giggedy". At which point, according to Helm, Edmonds 'slides right up to Jimmy Carr, and with little cat paws goes "a giggedy goo". And Jimmy Carr turns round to Noel and goes: "Creepy Noel. Real creepy."'

Perhaps that explains why when 8 Out of 10 Cats did a Deal or No Deal mash-up the following year, hoping to emulate the similar Countdown hybrid, it did not feature Carr and Edmonds together. Carr was installed as host and Edmonds was conspicuously missing apart from a pre-credits sketch, supposedly having run off with the £250,000 box to spend on a shirt. The exchange can be heard on the Fubar Radio podcast from Helm and Metcalfe's programme.

Uncle TechTip

And Carr would never stoop to such depths as displaying a cartoon figure and saying, "you look a bit like him"? No never.

Soup

I'm no fan of Carr but it would be unfair to suggest he didn't have better comedic chops than Neol.

Jockice

Quote from: Gradual Decline on November 13, 2018, 08:47:50 PM
Please God, let one of the trials involve the shaving off of Noel's beard...



Isn't that Derek Nimmo?

gilbertharding



Thomas

Saddened to find that Noel's various radio stations have vanished from his site.

However, this:

QuoteThe media frenzy around the rumour NOEL EDMONDS will be the major star on this year's I'm a Celebrity is quite unprecedented and almost all of the reports include details of his battle for justice with LLOYDS BANK.

Senior LLOYDS executives and in particular the odious HORTY NOSORIO must be quaking at the thought that EDMONDS whose name has become synonymous with the plight of all the victims of the U.K.'s most toxic bank, "might" be heavily featured every single night of the coming weeks on ITV.

Is it a coincidence that the LLOYDS share price has just crashed?

Lemming

Quote from: Thomas on November 15, 2018, 11:00:55 PM
Saddened to find that Noel's various radio stations have vanished from his site.

However, this:

Never fear, they're all here!

https://onlineradiobox.com/uk/positivelynoel/

Still being updated with new songs and host segments too.

That article is astonishing. Yes, the crash in LLOYDS share price is 100% down to you, Noel. Great job!

im barry bethel

QuoteThe media frenzy around the rumour NOEL EDMONDS will be the major star on this year's I'm a Celebrity is quite unprecedented

Neol's still got it

Uncle TechTip

ITV are sure to air criticism of one of their major clients "every single night of the coming weeks".

Replies From View


MidnightShambler

#798
This Seems like as good a place as any to ask, seens as there's loads of them on this page, how do I post images? I'm a bit of a dunce, sorry.

marquis_de_sad

Quote from: MidnightShambler on November 16, 2018, 06:17:37 PM
tbis Seems like as good a place as any to ask, seens as there's loads of them on this page, how do I post images? I'm a bit of a dunce, sorry.

Put a link to an image between img tags.

[img]http://www.image.com/image.jpg[/img]

Or you can paste the link, highlight the text, then press the 'insert image' button to the left of the text box (the 'insert image' button is the Mona Lisa one)

MidnightShambler

#800
I just can't do it. How do I get the link from an image? I know that's a ridiculously basic question but I'm on an iPhone, say I'm getting an image off google images, what do I do? Thank you in advance 😊

marquis_de_sad

#801
It's more fiddley on a phone, but when you've found the right image, press and hold it until the option menu pops up, then choose 'open in new tab'. Once it opens, copy the address in the address bar, which should end in .jpg or whatever file format it is. Then you can put the link in the img tags in your post as I detailed above.

Edit: if you're coming from google images, it's easier to first tap the image, then click 'visit', then do what I said above.

MidnightShambler

Thanks but I still can't do it! I'll keep trying, I really am a complete fuckwit.


MidnightShambler

Tried again and there's just an empty box. Anyway, I've derailed this thread enough I think!! Thanks again 😊

Gradual Decline


MidnightShambler

Why thank you! It's the only angle you can't see the stump from, I'm happy with it.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: MidnightShambler on November 16, 2018, 08:39:57 PM
img]https://goo.gl/images/TQBw5M[/img]

If you had used "open image in new tab" you would get this url

https://cdn.skim.gs/image/upload/v1456339568/msi/attractive-man-closed-smile_zdirzw.jpg

Which is this img




Basically you have to fuck around until you get a page with just your image and no other internetty bullshit or words and stuff then copy that url into the image tags

Here's a picture of the real Neol for reference -


im barry bethel

Quote from: MidnightShambler on November 16, 2018, 06:17:37 PM
This Seems like as good a place as any to ask, seens as there's loads of them on this page, how do I post images? I'm a bit of a dunce, sorry.

Here's what I do, there are probably quicker simpler easier ways but this works for me (on an android phone anyway)

Find your Google search image then hold your thumb on it and select download image

Go to https://imgbb.com and upload your chosen image

Chose the bbcode full linked and copy the code



You only need the image brackets part so delete the bits before and after so it looks like this



Fingers crossed it works