The Weather

[Neville Chamberlain]

Lumps of piss scudding in from the east. Fair.

[Glebe]

£2.99, Poundland.

[Bazooka]

A young conservative gathering has bean smashed to bits by hail shaped like Raoul Moat's face.

[Neville Chamberlain]

Rain galloping in from Skye; likely to be a bit of a nuisance for a week or so.

[Norton Canes]

Pale, turning fatherly. Supple.

[Glebe]

Nice around the edges, but by fuck, what a nightmare!

[Neville Chamberlain]

A bank of audio clouds ("audionimbus") carrying the sound of David Bowie's "Heroes" will sweep in from the Atlantic overnight. Expected to be audible all across the south west and possibly as far north as Manchester under favourable wind conditions.

[Spoon of Ploff]

A cluster of sunsets is circling a cold front thats approaching from the sou sou westner east... experts predict this will mean March 2019 will be delayed by 17 days.

[Johnny Yesno]

Weather Locklear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR5HWqSuWp4

[spamwangler]

20 precent chance of trampolines

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPKb9z4l7eM

[Neville Chamberlain]

URGENT: Cornish authorities requesting male volunteers aged between 18 and 60 to stand on Bodmin Moor and roar continuously at the sky in an attempt to repel bad fog.

[zomgmouse]

Bilbo Baggins spraying down upon Westminster

[JoeyBananaduck]

Michael Fish declares it 'perfect conditions to try to stuff one of your tits up your arse' before being hauled off air.

[Neville Chamberlain]

An increasingly fractious gaggle of clouds sliding up the Aegean, set to fracture over the Orkneys.

[Glebe]

Fuck the weather.

[the midnight watch baboon]

The sun will illuminate all your problems from 20 billion lightmetres away. Good.

[Spoon of Ploff]

A fault line of gusts up to 5 kiloknots will make fornication in the South West Midlands difficult between 9 and 7pm... also driving.

[zomgmouse]

It's gushing monkeys down there

[Ray Travez]

Prevailing gravity will be mostly 'up' this weekend, viewers are advised to nail down any garden furniture

[Fishfinger]

Toddler brain-splaying on rocks west. Plangent belm-waves wafting. General help, tea likely.

[Fishfinger]

Chilly, widening flaps succumbing to afternoon podcasts, guests middling.

[Glebe]

The weather will be mostly dry, with dry patches and dry spells and dry weather patches.

[Smeraldina Rima]

National Front rally blumming in from the '70s, descending from the skies with King George umbrellas
coastal towns with maddened donkeys and chip pan fires blasting the potatoes of your Sungodzillas
A touch of frost on ITV, that'll be back to Del Boy on UK Gold repeats; interrupted shows with endless
laughter wending sempiternal penumbras covering regions in Nytol, ash and lumpy coats of darkness
A loong vat of letters heading from left to right all ending in the same place precipitating the vein light
All in all, expect a fresh weekend, fresh as a daisy, but also terrible and suffocating with Sunday night

[JoeyBananaduck]

Nico with a chance of Cale